I love Friday nights.  There's just something so freeing knowing that the weekend lies ahead.  Even after a hard week of communication mishaps and errors (like my injured husband and I have had this week), Friday night usually ends up with us talking and laughing like old comfortable friends once again.

I am thankful tonight that Mark does not have to be out and to his job at 6 a.m. on Saturday mornings (been there, done that the last few spring seasons as he worked for a landscaping business).  Tomorrow will be not be a hang out in your P.J.'s sort of day - we do have a full schedule - with interviews for camp staff in the morning, a play at the children's theater in the afternoon, followed by an outing with a young hispanic woman who is in a difficult situation (more on that another time).  The day will be busy, but we'll be together as a family through most of it and I won't be wrestling with my weekday thoughts.."Did we do enough school today?, Should I let her play on the computer or ask her do this math page?  Is it expecting too much of my four year-old boy to sit and fold his clothes (instead of piling them all up and jumping in them)?" 

Mark says that I am far too hard on myself and could find a reason to feel guilty about just about anything.  This is probably something that I should work and pray through (another heart issue producing some yucky fruit).  For tonight, I will rest and rejoice in the feeling of freedom that Friday night brings me. 

And...just through writing these thoughts, I have grown just a little step closer towards better understanding that this "Friday Night Bliss" must be similar to the "glorious freedom of the children of God" that Christ would have me know throughout each moment of everyday. 

It's 11:00 p.m. and I should definitely be in bed and not typing on the computer.  Little guy is still not sleeping through the night so there is no such thing as a solid sleep from midnight to 6.  I used to comfort myself with thoughts like, "All babies sleep through the night eventually" but lately I've changed the wording to "All 5 year-olds sleep through the night eventually."  It is better to keep my expectations a bit lower.

Anyway...why am I not in bed?  I have got to start this blog!  I've been thinking of the title for days now and have had lots of random ideas of things I'd like to write about, but there is something intimidating about the very first entry. 

I do like the title that I settled on - Abound.  It is my strong desire to bring glory to Christ by abounding in Him - even in just the little things of everyday motherhood.  But...part of the intimidation and avoidance of writing this very first entry is that I feel like I have been doing so much less than "Abounding" lately.

My husband sprained his ankle last week playing dodge ball at Awana.  From the moment he came home, my attitude stunk.  There was very little sympathy (ok - no sympathy - I'd didn't even ask him the details of how he did it until the next day).  In fact, he told me that from the look I gave him when he walked in the door, it seemed like I was saying, "Oh, great - another person to take care of".  The sad part is - I told him that he read the look correctly.

So that was a week ago, but the ankle is still swollen and sore.  He is on crutches and the healing process is slow.   Although there were flashes of remorse and an improved attitude throughout the last seven days - even this morning I was still struggling with a sort of resentment and anger towards him.  Thankfully, I got some time away so that I could journal and talk to God about my attitude.  I didn't have a lot of time - but the truth that came to mind was from Luke 6 - out of the overflow of the heart - the mouth speaks.  The bad attitude and unkind/uncaring words aren't just bad fruit on a good tree - something must be going on with the tree.  What is going on in my heart that would lead to such a bitter and irritable response in this situation?  The ugly truth is that I think that deep inside I was angry that with a sprained ankle he would not be able to contribute to my needs and my goals - and now who was going to take care of me?!!

Sounds like a woman in need of some abounding grace - don't you think?