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“Your life… Or your God”
Chapter 1 Decisions
Hannah is a normal 17 year-old girl. She gets good grades, she scored the highest on her math test, she is the teacher‘s pet, and is an all-around nice girl. But no one saw her as herself. No one but her, her diary, and God. At home she had trouble. Her Dad left when him and her mom were fighting when she was just five years old, her mom is too busy with her own “cares”, therefore, she has no rules; for the most part. So her life was miserable, until she met Marcell Bernet. He was everything she was looking for. Support, happiness, and what she wanted and craved most of all… love. He would take her on romantic dates, to the movies, the beach. Then it happened, her first kiss. But soon it wasn’t enough. She wanted more love. She craved it. Next thing you know…
“Marcell, I just found out I’m pregnant.” she couldn’t believe these words were coming out of her mouth. “What are we going to do?”
His usually bright eyes looked at her with a mix of fear and doubt.
“Abortion, that’s the only way.” he said way too fast.
“What?! No! We can‘t!” Hannah cried.
Marcell rolled his eyes and said bluntly:
“Then I guess we can’t see each other anymore!”
“No wait, don’t go! You’re everything to me!”
Hannah fell down and cried.
“How could he say it so bluntly? Doesn’t he care? Doesn’t he love me? I don’t want to lose him, what should I do?” she thought.
Hannah spent the rest of the afternoon crying and worrying about what she should do.
The very next day she decided to call Planned Parenthood. She had heard some girls at school talk about getting birth control pills, so why not?
“Hello, Planned Parenthood, this is Janice.”
Hannah hesitated. “Hi my name is Hannah Allii, I need some help.”
“Okay dear, what can I help you with?”
“You see, I just found out that I’m pregnant and I’m only seventeen. Someone told me you guys help girls like me.”
“Well why don’t we see about making you an appointment for a pregnancy test. What day would be good for you?”
“Can I get an appointment on Wednesday at 11:00 please.” asked Hannah.
“Certainly,” Janice continued, “We will see you Wednesday.”
Hannah had a hard time telling her mother. After she did her mother went off in a rage saying her baby was a curse because of something she had done in the past. Her mom pressured her to have an abortion.
Still Hannah was unsure and felt like giving in to her mother’s heavy load. Then her mother gave her an ultimatum: “Have an abortion or have no where to live.”
The next day at school, Hannah’s friend Barb comes to meet her.
“Hey girl! So, I hear you’re pregnant.”
“Who told you?” Hannah said under her breath.
“One of Marcell’s buddies, you know Junior right? Well he told me Marcell was bragging about it.”
Hannah didn’t say much but was getting pretty mad.
“So what are you doing about it?”
“I scheduled an appointment at Planned Parenthood for a pregnancy test.”
“Cool, I’ve been there too. But that was about six months ago.”
“For a pregnancy test?” Hannah asked. “But aren’t you a Christian?”
“Well yeah, but I am NOT perfect. Billy and I had been dating for a while and well, we “celebrated” our six months of dating. When I found out I was pregnant, well I couldn‘t keep it cause I‘m too young. Planned Parenthood does abortions and I took care of it. No big deal.”
“Well if Christians have abortions, then it must be okay for me too.” Hannah thought.
She got home after a long day at school. She sat down to watch a little TV. The newscaster was interviewing women and girls about their views on abortion.
“Well I think girls should have abortions. It’s their body.” said one young lady.
“I believe girls should choose abortion simply because the world is already over populated. And why put up with crying, screaming babies?” said another.
“Me and my husband found out I was pregnant and we decided to get an abortion done because we are in debt and can’t take care of a baby.” said a couple.
“Stay right there because we’ll be back.”
She turned it off. Hannah walked upstairs to her room, pulled out her diary and started writing.
“ Hello diary, tomorrow I go to get and abortion done. I’m so scared. Barb, Mina and Jayla say they have had one before. Then everyone on TV said they would have one, so I guess it’s okay. Me and Marcell can finally get together after this, and I’ll get to stay home! There’s an upside to it. I don’t exactly know where this place is.”
“Mom! I’m going to bed.” she yelled.
Hannah awoke from her sleep in the middle of the night screaming. “AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!” she started breathing heavily.
She looked at the alarm clock.
“3:41.”
She got her diary and wrote down her dream.
It was so scary she had a hard time dozing back off. Once she did, she slept right through the alarm.
“Hannah get up!” hollered her mom. “Honey, you slept through your alarm. It’s 7:30.”
“Great.”
At 7:45 the phone rang.
“I’ll get it.” shouted Hannah.
“Hi, may I speak with Hannah Allii please?” said the voice on the other end.
“This is she.”
“This is Janice from Planned Parenthood, I was calling to tell you we had to cancel your appointment. We will only have one doctor today. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Would you like to reschedule?”
Hannah thought for a moment. “Let me get back to you on that.”
She hangs up the phone. A little discouraged, she heads off to school. She ran into Barb as soon as she got there.
“I thought you had an appointment at Planned Parenthood?”
“Well I did until this morning. The nurse called and said she had to cancel.”
“Huh.” said Barb.
Hannah changed subject very quickly.
“Do you know that new girl’s name?”
“No but Mina does. Ask her.”
“Ok Barb, love ya girl. See ya.”
During lunch, Hannah sat with Mina.
“Do you know that new girl’s name?” asked Hannah.
“Yeah her names is Gabrielle.”
“Do you know anything about her?”
“Well, she talks way too much about God. ‘Jesus saved me.’ and ‘This book of the “bible” says’ blah blah blah. She’s crazy.”
Later on Hannah was walking down the hallway when Gabrielle (the “crazy Christian”)stops her and asks Hannah her name.
“I’m Hannah.”
“My names Gabrielle. The Lord told me to stop and tell you about a dream I had.”
“ Uh…Okay”
“Well last night I had a dream about you. You were at Planned Parenthood and you were there to get an abortion done. Then the sky turned black and there’s a film of babies and aborted babies in heaven. They showed pictures of them, and then a baby came down to you. You looked at it and started crying. Then you closed your eyes and she floated back to heaven. When you opened your eyes you looked at your hands and they were covered in blood. You started screaming: ‘I murdered my baby!’ Then I woke up.”
Hannah looked at her with a blank face. Finally she got some words out.
“W…w…what time did you wake up?”
“It was 3:41.”
When Hannah heard that, she fell on her knees and cried.
“Oh my God!” she said as she looked up at the sky.
Gabrielle sat down with her and hugged her.
“I was going to murder my baby!”
“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay Hannah.”
She sat there with her for what seemed like forever. Then Hannah stood up, gained her composure, and was able to talk.
“I had that same dream last night, and I woke up at 3:41.”
Gabrielle looked at her and replied, “After I had that dream Hannah, I started praying for you.”
“Thank you Gabrielle.”
“You know, Hannah, you can change this.”
“But if I don‘t reschedule, my mom will kick me out.”
“I know somewhere else you could go.”
After school, Gabrielle took her to the Care Pregnancy Center. They gave Hannah all of the information she needed along with some encouragement and prayers. She felt so peaceful there. She knew they were there to help her. Still she worried and wondered how God could hear their prayers for her. Being a Muslim it was hard for her to believe God.
“My mom is going to kick me out, and my boyfriend has dumped me.”
“Don‘t worry about him. Look you can stay with me for tonight, and if you want, I‘ll go with you to talk to your mom.”
“Okay. Thanks Gabby.”
That night at Gabby’s house, Hannah got saved. She finally felt free! After reading the bible and about what Jesus had done for her to be free, she couldn’t help but believe!
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