Jun. 16, 2008

I'm bored...

Man I'm bored!  I don't know why but for some reason lately I have been feeling really bored all the time if I am not doing something. Today when the kids were out playing in the yard I was so bored I didn't know what to do with myself so I scraped and  painted the window frames and the back doors.  After I was done, I thought what can I do now?  I thought, "Hey I could take advantage of this quiet time and read a book, but decided not to.  I don't know how to relax when the kids are awake.  If I do sit down and relax with a book then I hear a little voice telling me " get up lazy there's so much to do, you could play a game with the children or I'm sure there is something that could be done around the house!"  I don't like that voice but I always end up listening to it... I am kinda mad/hurt at the same time right now also- My younger brother is in the Air Force and stationed in California. (I am in Arkansas)  Well he got married on Valentine's Day to a girl in the Air Force as well.  Nobody in the family had met her when they got married until they came here to Arkansas on leave last week.  I live an hour away from my parents and other siblings and the thing that upsets me is that the one day that Steven got to come to my house and visit my dad (a truckdriver) calls Steven telling him that he is in for the weekend and needs a ride home so Steven had to leave my house and go pick him up!  What does he do during the time that Steven is not here?  Why couldn't he do that then so that Steven could stay and visit me on the one day that I would get to see him?!! At first I thought " okay you're being selfish, Daddy wants to see Steven too".  But then I though "no you're not he and his wife are staying in mom and dads house and they will get to spend the whole weekend with him!"  I got one day and it got cut short, so it was just a few hours.  He and his wife go back to CA tomorrow so I  won't see them again til Christmas.   I am really sad that  I hardly got to know his wife.  From what I could see she seemed really nice though.  I think he picked a good sister for me;) I missed him as soon as he pulled out of the driveway and cried because I only got to spend a few hours with him.  It makes me mad the way my parents are planning everything out for him keeping him too busy to see his family that lives out of town.  I am not the only one, the day he was here he could have seen our aunt and uncle but he had to leave before they got off work so they won't get to see him at all.  I know he's a big boy and if he wanted to visit the rest of the family he could no matter what Mom and Dad  say about it.  I don't know if why he is letting them plan what he will do with his time here.  Maybe I've got him wrong, maybe he doesn't care like I hope he does... Well I just had to vent.  It is so tempting to call my parents and tell them what I think, but I know it better not to start fights with family so I will keep my mouth shut, even though it is very hard! Blessings--Jess

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