Today during church, I had an interesting thought. I’ve been a little concerned and in a way sad that if Erin and I stay the course on not getting our children involved in kids/youth activities, they will miss out on what was for me a very important, almost magical part of growing up … that time in my sophomore through senior years of high school where things suddenly/finally clicked for me, where I found a sense of belonging among people (primarily the other kids my age) who genuinely liked me for who I was. What will life be like for my kids if they don’t get to have that sort of experience until they’re adults?

Today I think I had a realization or even revelation. Like other aspects of life that we realize are the responsibility of parents/family (e.g., schooling), providing the sense of fun, belonging, acceptance, appreciation, affirmation, challenge, excitement, and (via some sort of community outside the family) potential for future mates is also our responsibility.

My parents were excellent, but I certainly did not receive attention, affirmation, and excitement through my home life during the ages of 9 – 16ish. Sometime around 18, my dad and I began to relate to each other as adult friends, and my family truly did become a place of belonging for me (as I think it was when I was 8 and younger). My mother was overly critical, overly religious, and didn’t have a vision for my high potential. My dad was focused on work, sports, and the news; he was more interested in my younger brother and sister than I, and he had a biting sense of humor that tended to hurt my self-esteem, which was tender due to my age. Therefore, of course I needed something outside of my family to provide this sense of belonging … thank the Lord it came from a healthy source that eventually directed me toward a relationship with Him.

But with God’s help, Erin and I will create that environment for our children, so we/they won’t need external resources like youth groups, which have the very real potential of harming our kids more than helping them (too early introduction to dating and possibility of premarital sex, crushes becoming a part of everyday life, possible sexual abuse/involvement with youth leaders, potential false teaching by youth leaders, general pulling away from family life).

To create this will require much focus and effort, especially as the kids get older. We increasingly need to make it a priority to involve the kids in play, work, service … possibly shifting as they grow older to sports, mission trips, businesses, etc.

Lord, please give us the energy, vision, inspiration for all of this. Erin and I both tend to be introverted, and I think even doing things with our kids can sap our energy. Please help us continue to build an exciting life of purpose for our children, especially over the next decade. Everything is possible for you, Lord. Please work through us to bring glory to you and to lead our children to a lifetime of joy and eternal salvation.