Homeschool Daddy

Jan. 9, 2009

Accountability

About two months ago, I invited a friend to have coffee with me every two weeks. The primary purpose is to hold each other accountable for living right in all areas of life. I have long resisted the idea of men needing to have "accountability partners," because Jesus' death on the cross made me dead to sin, so why should I need any partner other than my wife?

I eventually decided, and have found it to be true, that having a friend who will ask me about each area of life is simply a means of not letting me forget that I'm dead to sin. When I stop and think about it, when I do sin, it seems to be rather by accident ... I forgot that this activity is a sin, I forgot that I'm dead to sin, or I'm not really paying attention to what's going on. Knowing that within a week or two, I will be squirming in my seat, having to explain this to my buddy, keeps the cool light of day on me more consistently. It's a more visible reminder that God sees everything I do ... if I greater awareness of this fact, I don't see how I could ever "forget."

I love M&Ms, but eating them makes me gain weight. If I wanted to prove a point, I could put a bowl of M&Ms on my desk and go a long, long time without eating any. But there would come a time when without thinking, I would reach out a grab a few M&Ms and eat them. Therefore, I don't keep a bowl of M&Ms on my desk. I let them stay in the store, and when our family decides to have M&Ms as a special treat, I buy some to enjoy in moderation together. Keeping them further away me removes the chance of slipping accidentally. Not only do I go long periods without giving into the temptation of M&Ms, I don't even have occasional slips in this area ... not only am I free from a sinful habit, I don't have the damage of once-in-a-while sin in this area. So my life is a little closer to perfect, a little happier, a little more effective.

That's primarily what my accountability partner is accomplishing for me. There are sins -- things I shouldn't do and don't want to do -- that are now further out of reach for me, so I'm much less likely to do them in a moment of forgetfulness. That's what I was hoping would happen, and it's worked. My life is a little closer to perfect, a little happier, a little more effective.

But a happy surprise is that this time together has also inspired us both to push each other to make general improvements in our life, to be more effective altogether. We're not only experimenting with different things that might improve us, we are holding each other accountable to live them out.

One area that quickly became a priority was to make changes that would increase our overall joy. Both of us have the peace of Christ, but our general nature is to be serious, busy guys. There's nothing wrong with that, but to be honest, much of the time we aren't truly enjoying life -- we would enjoy working except that we're working all the time. One natural consequence is that evangelism doesn't bear much fruit. Another is that the stress builds up and greases the wheel for us to slip into the type of forgetful moment I mentioned above. ("M&Ms anyone? I don't know why I used to think it was bad to eat too many of them.")

I'm excited about our ideas and hope they work. Lord willing, I'll write about them some other time.

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matt. 5:48)

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About Me

Journal of a father very interested in seeing his four children walk in truth. While my wonderful wife is our school's main teacher and curriculum planner, my role is critical as well ... so I'm always interested in learning and sharing with other homeschool parents. I own a small consulting firm (see www.blackwater-consulting.com) that I love because the work is interesting and I get to work from home.