Feb. 17, 2007
Humility
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A dear friend filled with creativity, energy and smarts lives life by themes. Every Christmas she comes up with a new one for her and those in her circle. We lived the Year of the Chick--celebrating what is fun, feminine and hip during '06. This is the year of dreams and she announced it with comfortable AND sexy nightgowns/negligees, etc. (My husband loved mine, by the way). This friend helps me remember to laugh, not an easy task, I'm afraid. Miles separate us from face-to-face interaction, and I have yet to visit with her in This Year of Dreams. So it makes me wonder if I'm hearing correctly. Because so far, this year is turning into the year of discipline for The Wellspring. I think it has something to do with tuning into the initial auditions for "American Idol". Over and over, I watched these people who were absolutely convinced they had what it took fall flat on their faces. And they still didn't realize their talent was mediocre at best. I am a woman of vision, optimism (most of the time), and belief. I hold it for myself, my children, our family and many others. I "see" potential and long to fuel it. And despite staying home with children's coughs, dishes, tracked in mud and cheap calories (ever realize how many calories is in one packet of Ritz crackers?), I carry these dreams waiting for "the day". But for some reason over the last weeks of the new year, the main messages I hear involve taking me down a notch or two. The reality is, I'm not really a very good writer. I think I could be if I wrote every day, challenging myself in areas I find more about discipline than what comes easily, but I'm not sure I would make it to Hollywood. The reality is, I'm not really a very good disciplinarian with my children, especially my middle guy. He's the strong-willed one and almost 9. Finally taking the bull by the horns and humbly checking "The Strong-Willed Child" and "Dare to Discipline" out of the library (Growing Kids God's Way has kept me from reading any parenting books in the last eight years, literally) I read it with a heavy heart. Loving him tenderly has not held back the angry outbursts, easy frustration and constant negotiation that wears me down daily lately. There's others, but that's the level of humility I can share at this point. Yep, its humbling to realize it, but I think its a good place to be. So, dear friend, this year my dreams involve not crossing the finish line, traveling, or publishing. It involves the visualization exercises the daily work-outs require and actually moving my body, not just talking about it. I think. |
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Feb. 18, 2007 - stick to itness
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