Mar. 27, 2008 - Feeling Overwhelmed
I hit an emotional crisis a couple weeks ago. The mounting pressures started causing me to cave. Maybe you know the feeling. I was feeling so overwhelmed! I just didn't think I could take another day. So what's the solution? Enroll the kids in school? No way! I feel so strongly that homeschooling is what God wants me to do. But adjustments definitely needed to be made. I'm feeling much better today!
What did I do about it?
Well, first of all, my wise husband has insisted that I withdraw from all the things I am serving in at church. I am serving in several areas, all of which are run along with the "school year". So, they will all be coming to an end in a couple of months. What relief and joy I feel to know that I will simply be transporting the kids to and from the "church" activities next year (AWANA, choir, VBS, etc) instead of working in them. With 1 homeschooler and 3 pre-schoolers in the house, they suffer some neglect when I'm needing so much time preparing for church commitments. Plus, the stress of having to find a substitute when I have a sick child keeping me home or to take them along anyway - uuggghh! Maybe after next year I will be able to get back into serving in church ministries.
I know a lot of my stress is self-induced. It's hard for me to let go of a super clean, super organized home. I've learned to let so many things go. But I haven't been able to learn to be content with it. So it's not so much a time stealer anymore as it is a joy stealer. I've got to figure out how to fix that! Any suggestions?
I'm a very routine, schedule oriented person. So a schedule is not necessarily what I need - I already have one! But what I am doing is starting my schedule all over from hour one, task one. I'm not done, yet. What I have accomplished so far is to write down everything I feel the kids and I need to get done each day, including sleep. Guess what? It totals up to more than 24 hours! God intends that the needful things be done in only 24 hours. He's not going to change the number of hours in a day. So, therefore, I have more to shed from my list of "to-do's". This is not so easily done and is going to require some prayer because I feel it is all so crucial to be done!
Could some of the overwhelming feeling be attributed to the winter dragging on and on? Where's the warmer weather! We are sick of being inside!
I also leaned on a friend for encouragement.
I also just read Christine Field's book, Help for the Harried Homeschooler. Harried I am! The book was encouraging and put a breath of spring, fresh air into my homeschooling.
So, what have you done to de-stress yourself?
Comments
Mar. 28, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by kaysmarmey
Jill,
I think you are doing the right thing by dropping you outside commitments. This is the time to enjoy you family and home. I often find myself overcommited, then, I have to refocus: God, family, then church. Enjoy your spring and summer with your family enjoying the things of the Lord.
Melissa
Mar. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jenn4him
I totally agree with Melissa. We, as homeschooling moms, need to be so careful with making commitments. I am so glad your husband supports you that way. I have read some good blogs on this topic lately. I think it is a common problem this time of the year. In a couple months when school is finished, we will all be so thankful! Why can't life be like that all the time?
Jenn
Mar. 29, 2008 - Good For You!
Posted by srostollan
As homeschool moms, we forget that we are only human. So does everyone else. God created the family before He created the church. You will be amazed at how much better you feel when you do not deal with the guilt of putting your family on the "back burner" to be able to fulfill the outside commitments. We need to remember that our ministry begins at home!
By the way, Your family looks wonderful! I cannot believe how long it has been since I have seen you!!!
Stephanie@inspired
Mar. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 40winkzzz
Feb & March always seem to be a difficult time of year for homeschooling. After 16 yrs, I still go thru those Feb-March blahs, and so do my veteran friends. Fortunately, the onset of spring (whatever THAT is in Michigan, right? :-) does help some. Have you had a few sunny, low-40s days like we have? It makes SUCH a big difference in our school day (and thus in my stress level) when the kids can have extended outdoor playbreaks.
When mine were little, sometimes when those blahs hit, we'd take a little "break" from our *normal* school routine & books and do a fun, casual little "unit study" for a couple weeks. I think we still did math, but not the other usual things. Our 1st yr of homeschooling, we did this with a "wild animals" theme and just had fun with it for a few weeks. I suppose it was mostly reading and drawing pictures, with a little writing thrown in. My then-6-y/o read about snakes and made a picture book about Rock Pythons (with help from me, of course), while my then-3-y/o made her own "book" with drawings & magazine pics of animals. Of course, we ended with a trip to the zoo (and they "wrote" about that, too). Wish I'd done that kind of thing *every* year. I should still be doing it now!
Another variation on this is to take a week or 2 and a good read-aloud (say, Charlotte's Web), and have your schooldays revolve around this. Your days consist of (1) you reading aloud to the kids and (2) you & the kids doing stuff inspired by the book- whether it's looking related topics up on the internet, drawing pics, making things, writing &/or narrating, acting out...
Your kids are little for such a short time. (Yes, Chloe is still little, too.) Enjoy them and relax (I know, that can be hard). They have many years to learn, and even at Chloe's age, formal "school" can be fairly minimal. There are many other ways to learn & learn well. I think you & your husband are being wise about cutting back on outside commitments, too. There will be a time a few years down the road when you can do those things again.
Apr. 1, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by MamaDuke
First of all, you have a beautiful family. That is a wonderful family Easter picture. Second, have you tried going to a school schedule that is more of a university-style? For example, several subjects on Monday, Wednesday, Friday (language arts, math and reading) and another 2-3 subjects (science, history/geography) on Tuesday/Thursday? You can group them how it makes most sense to your family, but this may alleviate having to do so much all in one day. We tried this in our home earlier this year and worked out pretty good. I'm going to get back to it next year. For some reason I went back to the old schedule (I guess old habits die hard). Also, have you considered taking one day off of school during the week? We do school Monday-Thursday and get everything accomplished in those 4 days and whatever doesn't get done, just doesn't get done. I've found that my kids absolutely love Fridays because we all get a 3-day weekend and those are usually the days that we do something fun (could even be a field trip, etc.). Just something to consider...
Apr. 2, 2008 - Let Go, Let God
Posted by Jaimers
I get told that a lot "Let Go, Let God". Well as a control freak that's not as easy to do as it is to say. But I have learned that my children learn better when I'm not "stressed". The first thing to go was my super organized, super clean house. When I quit my job, I had to let the domestic help go and I had to learn to do it myself. Guess what? another saying was pushed upon me. "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy".
Organization is still in place, but I don't stress if it all doesn't get done. I too had to let some outside activities do without me, but my kids are happier when I am teaching them and I'm fully there (mentally and physically) listening and caring to their needs.
Keep up the good work!
Apr. 4, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Isn't it wonderful to have a wise dh to give us advice? Glad you are feeling better. Sounds like you had to make some tough decisions. The book you mentioned is a good one.
BTW...your family Easter photo is beautiful!
Angela
the-potters-hand.blogspot.com
Apr. 11, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by LittleEblingsAcademy
De-stress?? We can do that??
I, too, am overly stressed. I think it IS the long winter....it just keeps dragging on and on and on..... I can't wait for Spring!!
Keep shedding those extras to make your God-given 24 hours "enough".
Blessings, Beckie :o)
Apr. 11, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by my2kids4Him
Hope your feeling better. Maybe this is a season in your life to be with your family. There will be plenty of time in the years ahead to serve at your church.
I also want to say that's a great family Easter picture!
Jun. 25, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by lisaquing
I've done some of the same things as you to de-stress - stop volunteering so much, distill my routine to the most important things. I recently gave over leadership of my homeschool support group to another mom so I could take a year off from that role.
Way to go for realizing that you need to downsize!
http://cornerstonehomelearning.blogspot.com/
