Apr. 16, 2008 - Can You Hear Me Now?
The other day, I realized that my children have a problem with me that they don't even realize they have! They have to say things to me a minimum of two times before I "hear" them and make a response. They don't complain about it. They've never said anything about it.
I'm not sure why I started to notice it or even why I haven't noticed it sooner. How terrible! We expect first time obedience from our kids and we expect them to answer us when we ask them a question. So, what kind of behavior am I modeling?! And not only that, am I modeling love when I don't stop to listen? I mean really listen?!
Certainly there are legitimate excuses for why I didn't hear them the first time they spoke to me. They have their own faults - mumbling, yelling from a distance, interrupting, etc. These are all things they need to work on if they want to be heard by me the first time they ask or say something. But as for me, I'm not a successful multi-tasker so it may take a little extra talking to break me out of the concentration of my current "task". But I am also aware that a lot of times I just simply have the kids "tuned out" while lost in my own world of thoughts.
There are other times that I do hear them and make a response. But I am guilty of not being an active listener. My response communicates to them that I didn't really hear them or it is a quick brush-off to satisfy them so they will "be on their way".
I want my children to know that what they have to say and the questions they have to ask are as important as what I have to say. It's one of the ways I will let them know I love them. I resolve to be more alert to my kids and an active listener. I am going to attempt to train myself to hear my kids - really hear and listen! I don't think this is going to be easy! I'll let you know.
Comments
Apr. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by hsmomkiki
You have a beautiful family! I just wanted to say that I really relate to what you were saying in your blog--both about listening and about being overwhelmed. I have four girls, and I sometimes find myself not really paying attention when they speak to me--too often, actually. I actually just realized I was doing it this week. My mom says it's just another symptom of being overwhelmed, but I don't know about that. Anyway, I am trying to correct the problem within myself. Hopefully, that will make our life together better!
Hope you have a great week!
Kristi
Apr. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by diamondsintherough
Hi Jill, Nice to see you. :o) I could have written this. Sometimes (often) I have to repeat myself to my kids, and it really irritates me not to have their full attention. But if I am at the computer I am more guilty of it than they are! I need to make a habit of taking my hands off the keyboard and into my lap, and looking my child full in the face when she is talking to me. And I hear you on the overwhelmed thing, too. Do you ever feel like a piece of silly putty that four kids are fighting over? S-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d in every direction?? lol
Apr. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 40winkzzz
"...not a successful multi-tasker ...have the kids 'tuned out' while lost in my own world of thoughts... not an active listener... didn't really hear them..." YEP, I can relate-- very much so. And I do wince at the thought of what that communicates to my kids- certainly not love and affection!
Plus, they soon learn to take advantage of this. I can't tell you how many times I've distractedly said "Uh-huh" or "OK" to a question from the kids, not realizing until later that I had given permission for something... Kids do learn to use this tendency for their benefit...
Apr. 18, 2008 - They talk over me....
Posted by Jaimers
My kids unfortunately have the habit of talking over me. I don't mean their language skills, I mean they literally stand above me and talk over me. Annoying little habit they have, but they've discovered that's the only way I hear them most of the time.
May. 2, 2008 - Mother's Day GiveAway!
Posted by SchoolinRhome
I wanted to let you know that I am hosting my first giveaway over at my blog! It is to celebrate Mother's Day! Stop by and tell me why you are happy to be a mother and you could win an awesome devotional book, a journal and a cooking with kids CD-Rom.
Enjoy your weekend with your family!
SchoolinRhome
Here is the giveaway link:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SchoolinRhome/525838/
