Becoming Wiser

Feb. 16, 2006 - Getting Dressed

Well, yesterday I got a magazine I ordered, as well as one of the books I ordered - the most controversial one. I am still not brave enough to say which one it is, but some of you may know after reading my posts over the next while!

Anyway, some of the things that have hit me so far after skimming these two resources:

Luke 12:34 says, "Be dressed and ready for service...."

Proverbs 31 says talks about a virtuous wife clothing herself with strength and also making her clothes out of fine linen. Verse 25 says, "Strength and honor are her clothing." In The Message Bible it says"First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, ready to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day." We've also heard the phrase, also from Proverbs 31, "She does not eat the bread of idleness." This is from verse 27. The Message Bible says, "She keeps an eye on everyone in her household and keeps them all busy and productive."

The point of all this is, when we get up, stay in our pjs or bathrobe, we are less inclined to get busy right away and get our work started. When I stay in my pjs till 11:00, I get far less done than when I get dressed right away.

It's strange that our actions are so affected by our clothing, but it's an attitude. There is a pscychological response to our outward appearance. My husband always tells me that the most attractive thing about a woman is not what she wears or how her hair and makeup are done, but rather how she carries herself.

This is why it is important for us to get ourselves ready for the day by getting dressed, etc. right away. It prepares our MINDS for the tasks ahead of us that day. My husband gets up, puts on his work clothes and is prepared for the work he has to do that day. Why shouldn't *I* dress for *MY* job?

The Scriptures I mentioned talk about clothing ourselves with STRENGTH. I feel like, when I get out of my sleeping clothes and put on my REAL clothes, it is almost symbolic of putting on strength. One translation says she GIRDS herself. I feel like I'm GIRDING myself. GIRD makes me think of a GIRDLE. I've never worn a girdle, but I get the impression that a girdle would make me walk with straighter posture and would increase the strength in my back and stomach. While we do need to put on physical clothing, we also need to make a CHOICE not to be lazy and that requires strength. The act of getting dress is like a first step.

I will never forget the summer my husband was performing in a jazz band several times a week. He was required to wear a nice black suit and tie for each performance. Of course, I thought he looked VERY nice!!!!! But he carried himself completely different. He even noticed it one night. He told me he felt more confident and professional and sure of himself in that suit. The funny thing is, he's not really a suit kinda guy! But it does something to the attitude.

I have found that, when I get dressed, get my children dressed, I am already getting more done than when I stay in my pjs. It sets a tone and atmosphere that is AGAINST laziness. I have a more productive day because my ATTITUDE is one of "I've got a job to do today."

I feel like this is just rambling right now, but maybe you get it anyway!

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Feb. 15, 2006 - A Great Quote

Here's a quote that really caught my attention today as I was doing my "Passion for the Word" study:

"The Holy Scriptures tell us what we could never learn any other way: they tell us what we are, who we are, how we got here, why we are here and what we are required to do while we remain here."

~A.W.Tozer

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Feb. 14, 2006 - She said it better...

I never read this website, but I was sent here via a link and this article perfectly explains my feeling about a mother's contentment in the home. Teri Maxwell explains it much more graciously than I did in my Lucy Winchester thread.

Article about Contentment as a Mother

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Feb. 14, 2006 - My Passion, My Message

I've been thinking a lot over the last twelve hours about what I'm passionate about and also about the book I'm hoping to write. For almost two years now, I've tried to meld together a bunch of ideas into one flowing message, and I haven't been able to do it. I think I've figured out my problem.

I think I've been confused about who my audience is. I was too BROAD. I thought my audience was women - wives and mothers. But I realize now that it's a little narrower than that. It's STAY-AT-HOME mothers, and maybe even HOMESCHOOLING STAY-AT-HOME mothers. So, this helps me a great deal.

Then, I have to figure out what my main message is. What is it I want to share with this audience? I am so passionate about all aspects of this lifestyle that it's hard for me to summarize. I'd like to include tips for organization, cleaning, meal-planning, cooking, etc. I'd like to include my philosophy on homeschooling. I'd like to include my thoughts on being a mother, etc. etc. etc.

But I think I've come to realize that there is a recurring theme in my life and it happens to be the meat of my message. It has to do with selfishness and surrender. My entire life, I have been aware of the gnawing selfishness in my heart. It has eaten me up inside and it has destroyed things on the outside. I am learning how to surrender my own selfish desires and I am realizing that, although it takes a lot of effort and it's NEVER easy, it sure makes LIFE easier. It allows GOD to take control and guide me and my circumstances in a way that I never could. And God's plans are ALWAYS far better than my own. I tend to have the arrogance enough to believe that I know better. I try to control. I try to get my own way. Yet, when I give it up and give it to God, it's always so much better than I ever could have imagined it to be.

I have found this concept to be key in my mothering experience. I could go on and on and on about this, but I won't here and now. I just wanted to share this revelation with you all.

I really have no right to write a book for career women or working mothers because I've never been there. I have NEVER in my whole entire life had a full-time job. I have no idea what it would be like. I don't know the needs of a working mother. I don't know the thoughts and feelings of a working mother. The Lord knows I'm WILLING to speak to them, too, but He has to give me divine knowledge first! In the meantime, my passion continues to be for women who are where *I* am - at home. And I'm excited about that.

So for any of you women who read my blog who work, please understand that the things I learn about and write about are never intended to be a judgement against you or something to cause you guilt or make you feel like you're not doing the right thing. I have NO RIGHT to say that EVERY WOMAN must stay at home. I don't believe that. In fact, if every woman stayed at home, my firstborn baby wouldn't be here because my doctor was a woman and I WANTED a woman doctor! I thank God she WASN'T at home that day!!!!v
So, anyway, God bless you all today, and Happy Valentine's Day!

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Feb. 13, 2006 - Lucy Winchester

I just read a book by Christmas Carol Kauffman called "Lucy Winchester." It is a true story that takes place from the late 1800s to 1960. I have read that book about four times now and I highly, highly, highly recommend it. It can be difficult to find, but if you have access to it, even if you can BUY it for a reasonable price, please do so. It is SO inspiring. It is about Lucy - her search for the truth about God and her perseverence and faith through the most difficult life I've read about in a long time.

First of all, I love reading about that whole period in history. I like the "simpler" life. I like reading about the way they functioned without all of our current conveniences.

Another thing I LOVE of about that book is that it motivates me to do my best, to press on and to work hard. At one point in Lucy's life, she would get up at 4:00 in the morning to prepare breakfast for her family. This included hauling and heating water, lighting the fire in the cookstove, etc. etc. etc. She worked every moment of every day until long after every other member of her family was sleeping. And get this! She was only twelve years old! Now when I think about that, or even when I think about all the other wives and mothers who lived through the Great Depression, I feel like I have NO EXCUSE for being lazy or taking a day off just because I feel like it. Now, I don' t believe it's necessary for me to work myself to the bone like they did in those times. It's not even healthy. But I do believe that, because of all of our modern conveniences, and because of our "serve ME" society, we HAVE lost our understanding of the value of hard work and we HAVE forgotten that our role as a mother and wife never WAS intended to be a life of luxury. It most CERTAINLY is rewarding and can be so fulfilling and JOYFUL, but those things depend entirely on our attitude. If Lucy Winchester could stay gracious and patient and peaceful even through all her hardship and find joy in the children she cared for and find joy in serving everyone she knew, I most certainly can find joy in maintaining my home and caring for my small family.

Something else that stands out to me as I read that book was how friends, neighbors, and family actually CARED about each other and felt it was their OBLIGATION to care. When Lucy's husband was hospitalized after an accident, the police officer went to her neighbors, told them what happened, and they came right over to take care of her children while she went to see her husband. When a family member couldn't work, everyone pitched in and helped care for and provide for that family as well. They all did without in order to help each other out. It wasn't a SACRIFICE as much as it was just THE WAY THINGS ARE. They wouldn't THINK of NOT doing SOMETHING to help. Can you imagine your neighbors coming to care for your children, cook and clean for several weeks so you could tend to a bedridden husband? It's just out of this world! And yet, as Christians, shouldn't we have a mindset like this? In today's society, we are so concerned about sticking our noses in someone else's business. We don't want to be nosy. We don't want to go to someone's home uninvited. We don't want to intrude. I say BAH-HUMBUG. When there is a genuine need, we should help to fulfill it. That's all there is to it. I want to teach my girls that, when we hear of someone who just had a baby, it is an AUTOMATIC thing for us to make a meal for that family. It is an AUTOMATIC response when we hear of a family who is sick or struggling in some way to say, "How can we help?"

Now, on this topic, I have a bit of a conflict in my own mind. I'm also learning about boundaries and realizing that I can't do everything. I have limits. I am not superwoman. HOWEVER, I also believe that there is a difference between saying "yes" to EVERY opportunity that comes my way and having a servant's heart. I also believe that, if we can make this sort of service a way of life, it needn't become a burden. It doesn't take much to get a few extra meals into the freezer for surprise needs. Just cook a double batch of chili or spaghetti sauce one night. Also, as a homeschooling mom, I think that taking my children with me to pick up a sick family's laundry or to vacuum and sweep for them or WHATEVER is a WONDERFUL learning experience for us all.

On to the next topic...I also love how society back then was just simple. There were no mixed-up roles, no questions about who belongs where, etc. I love how women weren' discontent at home because they didn't know there was any other opportunity for them elsewhere. They found great joy in rare spare moments to cuddle with their children. They took joy in being able to prepare an unusually delicious meal for the family. It was a pleasure to be able to plant a garden for their family's nourishment. They had no complaints about fixing clothing or taking a meal to the elderly neighbor or baking bread every morning BEFORE breakfast because THAT WAS JUST THE WAY THINGS WERE!!! I long for this so much. It really, really, really bothers me when Christian women say they desire to become a Proverbs 31 woman and then complain, complain, complain about SO MUCH WORK they have to do. COME ON! We have it so easy today! When are women going to realize that, if we desire to be Proverbs 31 women, loving wives and tender-hearted mothers, WE HAVE TO LEARN TO BE CONTENT AT HOME. We have to learn to take pleasure in the daily, mundane tasks that our role as homemaker requires. We have to learn to find joy in the little rewards of our labor - laughing children, a compliment on the meal, being able to get rid of a tough stain in our husband's favorite shirt, etc.

I have recently realized that, all I've ever wanted to be and do was be a wife and mother, stay at home, care for my house and family, and homeschool. SO WHY HAVE I SPENT THE LAST SIX YEARS FIGHTING THIS VERY THING!!!! I am literally living my dream. I honestly don't want to do anything else, and yet I have spent SO MANY days unhappy, discontent, frustrated. I don't know if I felt there was MORE I could do or if it just wasn't what I expected. But in the last several months, I've realized that it will be WHAT I MAKE OF IT. I am learning to find fulfillment and satisfaction in this job by giving it my all. There is NOTHING more rewarding than what I'm doing right now.

I want to make sure I clarify that I am in no way condemning or judging the woman who has a job outside the home. Believe it or not, I DO REALIZE that we DO live in 2006!!! I DO realize that society is different. My concern is with the hearts and attitudes of women.

Well, I've rambled on enough for one post. If any of you read "Lucy Winchester," I'd LOVE to hear your reaction to it!

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