I have been recently in touch with some old friends.  Dear friends.  It is nice to reconnect.  It gives fresh perspective to so many things.  I have had an opportunity to reflect on my past with new eyes.  My family, my children, and my free time.

Having four kids I often hear the words, "my you must be busy".  I respond with a knowing smile and a slight roll of my eyes and a hearty nod.  "I sure am."

More and more lately, however, I feel untruthful when I respond as such.  How busy am I?  Too busy to watch Oprah?  Nope.  Too busy to blog?  Nope.  Too busy to revel in my husband? Nope.  Too busy to play duck duck goose?  Nope.  Too busy to light some candles, pour a glass of wine and soak in a tub?  Nope.  Too busy to read the entire Harry Potter series over Christmas. Nope. 

My long lost friend is hard to connect with.  She is so busy.  She is so busy she can never find time to email.  She is almost frantically busy.  Hmmm.  This has got me thinking.  Should I be busier?  What is wrong with me?  Should I be sowing homemade clothing for my kids?  Should I be cooking for a month in advance?  Perhaps I need to be spending even MORE time with my children.  Latin instruction perhaps?

I love my life.  I really find it peaceful.  And restful.  My time is my own.  Well it is after I spend time with Father at 6:30 every morning before the kids get up.  After I see my husband off to work.  After I make breakfast for the kids.  In shifts.  As they awake.  After I spend time with the little ones while the older two work.  After I spend time teaching the older two.  After I think of crafts.  After we make crafts.  After I vaccuum.  After I plan my meal for the month.  Okay so my time is my own in bits and pieces.  Here and there.  In shifts. 

The secret to staying home all these years I tell my working friends is losing the guilt when you read for an hour or when you steal a bath in the afternoon.  Taking time for ourselves is the original anti-depressant.  Who needs drugs when there is a hidden bag of chocolate covered almonds tucked away in my cupboard?