Feb. 11, 2009 - The Cliffs of Insanity...and the adventures met with there.
Note: Before you read this, you must know that when we were younger, we often made a pastime out of making up characters, and then performing plays about them for our parents. A few characters survived without getting killed in any of our plays, (and some even came back from the dead!) and they are still very much alive.
Here is a typical story about them that we made up the other day. Keep in mind that all of these were always performed by particular people: Dane the Galapagos Turtle, the steady one, is Emily. Miss Clueless is Daniel. Yes, Daniel. Daniel does the best Miss Clueless act, hands down. You may (mis)construe that however you like. Janks and Sally Dill are Rachel. (She being prone to double personalities...)
Also, some characters are modeled after real people. So without further ado; The Cliffs of Insanity!
It all happened one day when Janks, Miss Clueless and Dane the Turtle decided to go to the famed 'Cliffs of Insanity'. When they had all piled into the tourist tram, Sally Dill, who happened to be their tour guide, called out
"Please keep all arms, legs and baggage OUT of the vehicle at ALL times!" *BEEP*
"Guarde por favor todos los brazos, piernas y bagaje fuera del vehículo siempre!" *BEEP*
Miss Clueless, being the clueless lady she is, immediately thrust both her feet out the window and as a result lost one of her beautiful designer high-heeled sandals.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Well, that wasn't very nice of her to tell me that!"
Janks groaned from under his hat which he had thrown over his face. If there was one thing he hated, it was clueless people.
"No one's ever called you a blond, have they?" he said, sarcastically.
Dane just munched his celery placidly. He didn't really like celery, but he ate it anyway. That was the way with Dane.
Pretty soon they came to the cliffs. Sally Dill hopped out and said, laughing,
"Welcome to the CLIFFS OF INSANITY!! WHOOOOOOO!!"
"Ugg." said Janks. He really didn't want to be there, Sally had talked him into it.
"That's it!" he yelled, "I'm just going to jump off this cliff!"
And so he did. They heard a splash. There was a solemn silence for a while as if nobody knew exactly what to say, then Sally Dill broke it by saying,
"That looks like FUN!"
She took a running leap, and followed Janks off the cliff.
"W-where are you going?" yelled Miss Clueless.
She hobbled along on her one ridiculous sandal to the edge of the cliff, and then stopped, evidently trying to decide what to do.
"JANKS?" she called, "S-sally?"
All of a sudden she lost what footing she had and tumbled screaming off the cliff. As he looked calmly over the edge, Dane heard her scream,
"MYYYYY SSSHOOOOOOOE!!"
Dane turned and started plodding down the stairs--the stairs which no one had noticed. He sighed. His friends were just too much. What were they thinking? But it was no use trying to figure that out. Dane had thought it over many times, and had concluded that it was impossible.
Janks was just dark. Dane was sure he had killed someone sometime in his life. Miss Clueless, well, there wasn't anything in her head to know, anyway. And Sally Dill? Well, Dane didn't know if even Sally knew what Sally was thinking, she was that unpredictable. He decided it was because she thought too fast. Sally could probably be a rocket scientist, he thought, if she would just slow down.
By the time Dane was done thinking all this he had gotten to the bottom of the stairs and was on his way to a little tourist beach.
Not long after, Janks, Sally Dill and Miss Clueless dragged themselves wearily onto the beach.
Dane was waiting for them.
"Slow and steady wins the race, eh Dane?" said Janks grumpily. "Humph."
He evidently hadn't succeeded in whatever his purpose was in jumping off that cliff, and to top it all off, that dangerous missile that Miss Clueless called a shoe had hit him squarely on the forehead, leaving a nice big lump. Janks carefully laid out his hat and coat to dry in the sun, then threw himself on the sand.
Miss Clueless was on the verge of tears. Not only was she soaking wet, but she had lost both her designer shoes, (which, by the way cost $300 EACH) and her over-sized crocodile skin purse was ruined. Not to mention her i pod and cellphone; but that didn't matter because she had never figured out how to use them anyway.
Sally alone remained unperturbed.
"That was the most fun I've had in my LIFE!" she yelled in Dane's ear. "I'm going again if anyone wants to come with me!"
Then, kissing Dane on the head, "Dane dear, be a good turtle and take care of the others for me. If I'm not back by dinnertime, I probably got in trouble with the shrieking eels, and you'd better send a search party!"
With that, she went skipping down the beach.
But none of this every bothered Dane in the least. He just sat there, looking benignly on, placidly munching his celery. Everything would 'All fall to pieces' as Sally says; it always did, and it always will.
THE END
I hope you enjoyed that!
~Joy Bird
Comments
Feb. 13, 2009 - I'm commenting!
Posted by Cross-Eyed Mosquito
Feb. 13, 2009 - Hey, Mosquito. :)
Posted by joybird
I will email you!
~JoyBird
Feb. 18, 2009 - Me Again! :)
Posted by Cross-Eyed Mosquito
P.S. I just finished reading your sister's take on Gulliver's Travels...so glad that I haven't read that book. :)
Feb. 24, 2009 - random!
Posted by Cross-Eyed Mosquito
Feb. 25, 2009 - This story is truly funny
Posted by Momma
