Joyful Journey

• Jan. 4, 2008 - THEFT WARNING FOR WOMEN

Posted in Life in General

I saw this warning at the Sonlight Forums and had to pass it on to you dear ladies, be aware - this may have happened to you and you did not even realize it. Scary...

THEFT WARNING FOR WOMEN

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? Hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish. Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs, and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax! This is happening to women in every town every night! WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

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Comments

• Jan. 4, 2008 - Too funny!

Posted by kcmyworld
I've been a victim too!
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• Jan. 4, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by icecastle
So, *that's* what happened!
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• Jan. 8, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by cahanbury
Oh man, that it is funny! Especially the part about the breasts! Ah, motherhood and its many blessings...
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• Jan. 8, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by kellieann
Oh my.....I am crying with laughter right now! That is too funny. I have to send this to my mother-in-law...
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• Jan. 19, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by mmcfrancis
ROFL!!!!! That was hilarious!!!!!
Blessings,
Kristi
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True stories from a regular mom who is endeavoring to raise more than *good kids*. We have been called to raise Godly Adults and it truly continues to be a joyful and bumpy journey...

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