What? Surely there is not peer pressure in homeschooling circles, or at least it is POSITIVE peer pressure. There is some of that going on, and I am thankful for the friends my children have who have brought positive peer pressure into their lives. And there is some negative peer pressure also, not to the extreme as it may be in a traditional school setting - but on a field trip my boys will be tempted (and sometimes they are the tempter) to do things that make me cringe (like sliding down the windshield of the Space Shuttle at NASA  )
No my friend I am not talking about the peer pressure your children face - that is a topic for another day. I want to talk about the 'peer pressure' we moms face. It is very real and this summer I felt it's sting in a profound way. A group of moms had gotten together and as is our custom we began sharing what works with our children as far as curriculum and extra curricular activities. We LOVE to talk about that - it is our hobby. Anytime I get a free moment from "doing school" and housework you can typically find me "researching" school and talking with other moms about homeschool and reading their blogs and chatting with them on forums. Tis what I do! So there I was listening to a precious sister tell me excitedly how important it is that all teens take a certain course. And I agree, it is an important thing to learn. But I have six children in my care daily, and already commited to activities out of the house two afternoons a week. This activity would make three afternoons. You do remember I am NOT a morning person! How could we fit in all the schooling for the kids and our extra curricular commitments and family time and add this class. But it is so very important, and Preston is a JUNIOR *aacccckkkk* we only have a short time to get it all in before graduation. Can you feel my heart palipations? I left that day feeling very confused and torn and sure that I was ruining his life if we did not do this class. UGH!
I cried on Andre's shoulder and explained how *very* important this class (that Preston has already said he does NOT want to take) is and how we have to just make it happen. And my brilliant wonderful husband said NO! We do not. We have sought the Lord and tailored an educational plan for our son that is in direct allignment with the plans God has laid in his heart. This is not on the short list of things he needs to do to graduate!
Once I recognized this feeling of peer pressure I began to seek out WHY I felt inadequate and helpless. As homeschoolers we are already going against the grain of society and lots of people question our very sanity and our competence. When we find something that works not only are we excited, but because of our anxiety about 'messing up' our kids lives, we can become convinced that our way is the right way. If others use what we have, it in some way makes us feel validated. We need to find our value in who Christ says we are, His beloved daughters.
Now I know without a doubt that my friend did not intend to cause these feelings in me, she is just passionate about what works for HER family. And that is what we all need to remember. What works for us MAY work for a friend, and we should share what we are doing, but we must be careful to make sure our way does not come across as THE way. Jesus is THE way, the rest is gravy!
Share your excitement with others and with me, but understand that each one of us is unique and our families are different. My friends, may I never make you feel like my way is the right way ~ it is just the way that is working for MY family ~ at least for now!
And thank you dear husband for being the voice of reason in the midst of my storms!
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• Sep. 14, 2008 - Sorry bout the format