Posted in The Single Years
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This past weekend I attended the wedding of an aquaintence of mine. It was very beautiful and I was so excited for her as she had waited quite a while for this time. I have to admit that weddings are a bit difficult for me. I am happy for the couple but a bit sad for myself. However this time around was different. One song that was sung was very touching for me. I believe it is called "Give me Jesus." My favorite part was this: When I am alone, When I am alone, When I am alone, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus, You can have all this world, But give me Jesus. I love this, because I am discovering more and more each day that He really is enough. Why this revelation has come so slow I'm not quite sure, maybe somehow I was fighting it. I always knew that it should be true but I couldn't seem to live it out. I told people it was true and yet I found myself searching for more. My wish was to be married as a teenager. Nevermind that my mom and sister needed me, they'd figure something out. Now I realize how very selfish I was. Even my motive for getting married was partially selfish. I thank God for not letting me marry the first man who came along. We would both have been miserable, me being the primary cause. But I serve an amazing God! One who is merciful even amongest my foolishness. Looking back now I see how much I would have missed. My sister is 10 years younger then me and I shudder to think of all I would have skipped out on. The places we've been and experiences we've had cannot be replaced. Most of all I have been able to see her grow in the Lord, maybe even had a small part in it. My mother has had to work full time since my dad left and has willingly allowed me to stay at home and keep house in my effort to prepare for the future.These past few years have been hard and yet blessed, sad and yet happy. Most wonderful of all is the close friendship we now share on account of it all. My own relationship with the Lord has been most greatly influnced by my dear mother. But even more then all that these single years have allowed me to know the Lord in a way I couldn't otherwise. Not haveing had a father since I was 15, I have come to appreciate God as my Father in a truly wonderful way. Most amazing to me is the simple fact that He loves me. Me, of all people. How patient, loving, and good He has been. The road has not been easy, the trials have not been few, but He has never forsaken me. He has allowed it all to bring me to where I need to be, in His arms. No matter the outside circumstances. No matter that I may not understand. His plan is perfect, He knows what He's doing. And that truly is enough for me. (I have a feeling this all might sound a bit random. Hopefully my skills at writing my thoughts down will improve through having this blog.) |
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