On a message board I'm on, we've been discussing anger and how it's too easy to get angry with our families. I struggle with this and wrote about some things the Lord has shown me in dealing with this issue. I hope this helps someone here!

"I too have been dealing with anger. It seems to go in streaks with me. Sometimes things are better and then they're worse again. The Lord has shown me several things. The first thing is that many of the times that I get angry with the kids, it's the result of my not being in right relationship with the Lord - usually because I recently willfully disobeyed the Lord in something I did or didn't do - often relating to priorities in my life. For example, I can tend to be on the computer more than I should. If I'm checking the computer during the day when I shouldn't be and something happens - a fight with the kids, or something when I'm on the computer, I very often respond in anger. So if I'm tending to get angry a lot, I first need to look at myself to find out if there's something that I'm being disobedient with the Lord about. I need to make sure my relationship with the Lord is right.

The Lord also showed me some verses that deal with anger that were helpful to me. Psalm 37:7 Rest in Jehovah, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of him who practices wickedness. Psa 37:8  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret yourself to do evil. I see this applying as if my children were the people in vs. 7. In vs. 7 it talks about not fretting because of him who prospers in his way and practices wickedness. This is then followed with the command to cease from anger and forsake wrath. I tend to react to my kids in anger because of fretting over their wickedness. Yes, we should be concerned about their wickedness and have these concerns lead us to pray for them and train them etc.., but I tend to feel guilty and like a failure and fret and get angry with them instead of not fretting and resting in Jehovah and waiting patiently for Him. If I can learn to rest in God and have peace knowing he has power to work in my children's lives, if I can forgive them for the wrongs they do and have mercy on them as the Lord has mercy on me, then I won't be fretting about them in a way that leads to anger. Much anger comes from not being at peace, not resting in God, not waiting patiently for Him. On the other hand, when we rest in him, anger can't take root in us.

The other area that helps in dealing with anger is in giving up "our rights". I think the more I have surrendered myself, the more I don't care if I get great sleep at night, the more I don't care if I have "me time", the more I learn to love my children and love being a mom, the easier it is to deal with things that used to get me angry. I used to get angry and frustrated when a little one wouldn't go to sleep nicely. I feel like now that I've surrendered those times of the day to not being "mine", I deal with these "interruptions" much more patiently and much more lovingly. It's been so freeing to give up my desire to eat right away at a meal and instead serve others first and not care if I don't eat for quite a while if I'm meeting many needs at the same time. Our country is so big on thinking about "our rights" and what "we need" that it's so easy to think this way. Instead we need to think of how to serve and the Lord fills us with joy. It's just what we want to teach our children! The joy of serving - it works for us too! The more we give, the less frustrated and angry we come and it starts with surrendering our days to the Lord and his will and giving it up.

I just wish I could live this way each day! I can't in my strength - only the Lord can work these things in me. As soon as I get proud and think I'm mastering my anger, I start turning away from the Lord and then, BAM, I find myself yelling at the kids and responding to them in frustration and anger. So the most important thing is always, keeping God as God, turning to him and walking in him."