Lately I've been struggling with lots of different issues with the kids. I'll spare the details of their negative behaviors and issues but I've been feeling quite down from feeling like their attitudes and behaviors are going downhill. I'm praying that as we get into the school year and into Bible Study consistently that God's Word would bear fruit in their lives. In the meantime, I've been caught (and they've been caught) in a negative downhill spiral.
Just tonight the Lord showed me how my attitude towards them and their behaviors has been hindering their change and improvement. As I've been frustrated with them, I've started using more negative tones with them. I've spoken negatively about them to others. I've said negative statements about the frequency of their bad behaviors. All these things have been counterproductive.
Tonight this came to me as I was trying to get my twin 4yo's to clean up their room. They do this every night after supper and oftentimes it's a big struggle while other times they do it well and are done in a short time. Tonight was one of those nights where they just seemed to stand around and fiddle with this toy or that toy and never really get around to actually putting something where it belonged. I was getting frustrated and was telling them to pick up. I was debating in my mind what to do and had hesitated long enough contemplating my negative mindset towards them when one of the twins put a toy away. I burst out into an enthusiastic cheer which caused his twin brother to pick something up and put it away bringing a cheer for him. Suddenly in about 2 minutes the room was picked up to the sound of my cheers.
After this I thought about how often I get negative when if I could just keep finding the good things they do and keep encouraging them in these things, they might start doing more and more good things and the whole tone in our house would change. We as moms really do set the tone of the house. Satan so wants to speak lies to us about how bad our kids are and how they'll never change and they keep getting worse and not better until we believe it and start treating them in that negative light. God wants us to encourage the good we see, dilligently and cheerfully train and correct the bad, and pray for their weaknesses and trust him to do his work in their lives.
None of this is something I haven't known, but boy I sure needed this reminder tonight! May we lovingly encourage our children in God's ways.
What you said hit home with me tonight. I have been listening to those lies of the enemy and feeling like a terrible parent and like my kids are such an annoyance. I know this is not true, and what an encouragement to hear this from you. We do need to set our mind on the Lord and His truths. How greatly our entire families will benefit from it.
I have to say that I really didn't want this challenge. However, you aren't the only one that needed it. THANK YOU for reminding me that it is our choice. We can step on the devil. Yesterday was my, I woke up yucky and I can stay that way, day. I told Paul that today, I would not wake up that way. It is so easy to get ill with our families. I will be watching my attitude and voice all day today. THANKS one more time. Christy
I have to say, this was perfect timing-I have been coming to my wit's end lately with my 2 8 yr olds, and thinking "they" are the problem-However, God has revealed to me that they are just wanting me, my time, my energy, and my love, more than they want all the canning a mowed yard, an immaculate house(not that it is) or tons of planned homeschool days all neatly filed away. I am praying that a couple weeks of lots of Mom time will make a drastic difference-
Blessings
CHris in Wis
I have 5 sons and 4 are special needs. I loved your blog and it reminded me so much that I do need to watch my words and how I express them to the boys. I was raised with so much negativity and so it has become a pattern to automatically start doing the same to my children. So, I have to now relearn a new way of speaking. I also need to call more upon the Lord for support to help with this new learning adventure for me and my children.
How refreshingly honest!
You made me think about my own attitudes. I will have to take that to prayer and ask the Lord how I may be hindering my children with my attitudes.
Hi there, I just found your site and want to say what a lovely, happy family you have. Your words could not be more timely for me as I grow with my 3.5 year old ds.
"... I thought about how often I get negative when if I could just keep finding the good things they do and keep encouraging them in these things, they might start doing more and more good things and the whole tone in our house would change".
Your words reflect exactly what I am learning and trying, with God's help, to do.
Yes, us moms do really set the tone for the house!!
Christ Is Born! Glorify Him!
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• Sat 8 Sep 2007 - Untitled Comment