I'm really struggling tonight.  Sometimes I get so, well, depressed over the fact that it is so hard to find friends who are seeking the same things I am.  I want authentic relationships with others...not just some silly superficial thing but a heart to heart meeting.  Where are the people who are truly working at growing their hearts, minds and souls?  I'm tired of petty conversation...you know....the "she said blah, blah, blah."  I want to discuss deep academic things with someone...great books, the meaning of scripture and how that applies to the here and now.  I'm dying from fluff.    I want to know who people really are, not just what they are trying to appear to be.  I'm tired of platitudes, cliches and fads in Christianity.  One woman agrees with me on dating.  She says "Oh yes, my daughter is totally committed to courtship and modesty."  Two days later I'm being told by the same woman that I'm raising my son and daughter to be prudes.  It's okay to disagree for heaven's sake just not tear each other down.  I have another mom tell me her son would like to ask my daughter to the homeschool formal.  Since I'm helping to organize the formal I think she assumes they should go together.  The mom makes this huge deal about it....he'll hardly talk to my daughter.  I think the mom is telling him to ask her and he'd really like to go with someone else.  I feel a bit betrayed...isn't that ridiculous!!!! 

Where is accountability anymore?  Kids are dying because no one holds them accountable to anything.  A young man died in a car crash on Friday because he was way over the speed limit.  Everyone knew he had a lead foot but no one called him on it and now he's gone.  A 15 year old is pregnant because her parents couldn't stop her from dating the wrong boy.  Another kid is failing out of school and is basically believing he is worthless because no one ever pushed him to study harder and quit goofing off.  Another young man thinks God hates him and he has no future because his parents wouldn't demand that he set some goals for himself.  They wouldn't let him decide what he wanted to do with his life so now he's doing nothing.  These are homeschooled kids.  What's going on?!?

I hope I can sleep tonight but I doubt it...too much is rolling around in my brain.  I think I'll curl up with a cup of tea and my Bible and bring my questions, concerns and conversation to my Father.

I have the coolest 13 year old daughter.  She loves to dance and works hard at it in her many classes each week.  When her dance class took a very ungodly turn she knew what God wanted her to do.  She tried to talk to the teacher but got no where so she wrote the teacher a letter explaining why she had to drop the class.  It was really hard for this daughter to face this teacher, to write that letter and it's still hard to deal with the lash back that her decision has caused. 

The saddest part of all is the phone calls I am getting from other Christian moms...some of them homeschoolers who I thought were braver, more God-fearing than they are. 

 One mom was depending on my dear daughter's stand to change the teacher and save her daughter.  This mom said she hasn't heard from God telling her to talk to the teacher herself.  Sometimes things are sooooo obvious that God should not have to speak to us.  We know our children aren't supposed to jiggle their bodies in a sexual way on stage.  This is a no brainer. 

 Another mom wanted to know if I was worried that unbelievers would assume that I think my daughter is too good to do the dance.   I told this mom that I thought all the girls were too good to put themselves on display like this.  I also think the teacher is too good to be choreographing junk like this.  She said she wasn't going to stop her daughter from doing because she didn't want to stop her daughter from being able to reach out to the unbelievers in the class.  UGH!  I know we are supposed to reach out but it doesn't mean we should behave in a sinful way.  That will never bring someone to truth.

I feel like these poor girls are being sold out to sin.  They are being used in such a that will bring money to the studio owner and in my mind their natural modesty is being destroyed.  As parents it's our job to protect the God-given purity and modest that our children have. 

If my 13 year old could focus on what God would think of her and not what others would think of her, why can't these parents.

Come on Jesus....we need you now.

I'm preparing to teach a workshop on Connective Communication.  As I sit and let my fingers on the key board sort out my thoughts I realize there is so much to this that I will not share.  Connecitve Communication is so important for us to teach but it's so much more than communication that needs to be dealt with. 

In our society today I see people are forgetting how to have relationships or they never did know in the first place.  So many families are torn apart by divorce, wrong priorities, selfishness and the whole "what's in it for me" attitude.  I see it in even the "good" families.  Children are constantly being taught to build their self esteem.  Parents are always seeking to do what is best for them -- the kids will survive.  In the paper or on the news all kinds of groups are trying to push their agenda because "it's what is most important or best."  NO ONE is thinking of what might be God's best for another person or group.  We rent apartments and the poor young people (ages 25-30) who have rented from us are a mess.  They don't have any alliegences or roots at all.  Whatever feels good now is what they do and when things crash and burn it someone else's fault.  Seeing this has been an incredible object lesson to my children.  These people have no real connection to anything...not family, not friends, not their job, not any goals, not God.  They are just floating, hurting, lost.  My daughter pointed out that she now understands what it means to have no moral base and what the firm foundation of Christ does for us.  I rejoice that my kids are learning but I am so sad for the people who are the object of our lessons.

What can we do?  Teach our children to value the people God has put in their lives.  My husband and I have worked so hard to establish a family team mentality.  We are in this together and together we will succeed.  In our home even the littlest kids have responsiblities and are important.  We work hard together and then we play and celebrate together.  We stay committed to God's Word and the life that He has called us to, no matter how difficult it may seem to others.  We may  not have much materially but we are solid in our relationship with God and each other.  I've never had to teach self-esteem because my children know who they are in Christ and that has given them purpose and security.  We are intentional about all we do, say and get involved in.  That doesn't mean we avoid the scary, hard stuff.  It just means we enter into it with prayer and fully armed.

Victory is ours...

The list of things I should be doing are endless.  Writing up tonight's theatre class lesson, preparing a proposal for our first production at the local theatre, laundry (ugh!), going over phonics, checking algebra and geometry, planning dinner, vacumning.... Ah well, it will all get done eventually but I am so enjoying smelling my lovely candle and listening to the Mikado by the fireside while my dear children are being quietly productive with their bookwork.  Moments like these need to savored and committed to memory.  It's peaceful and fulfilling. 

Don't let these moments pass you by...it's what makes all the other moments so worthwhile.