I'm really struggling tonight.  Sometimes I get so, well, depressed over the fact that it is so hard to find friends who are seeking the same things I am.  I want authentic relationships with others...not just some silly superficial thing but a heart to heart meeting.  Where are the people who are truly working at growing their hearts, minds and souls?  I'm tired of petty conversation...you know....the "she said blah, blah, blah."  I want to discuss deep academic things with someone...great books, the meaning of scripture and how that applies to the here and now.  I'm dying from fluff.    I want to know who people really are, not just what they are trying to appear to be.  I'm tired of platitudes, cliches and fads in Christianity.  One woman agrees with me on dating.  She says "Oh yes, my daughter is totally committed to courtship and modesty."  Two days later I'm being told by the same woman that I'm raising my son and daughter to be prudes.  It's okay to disagree for heaven's sake just not tear each other down.  I have another mom tell me her son would like to ask my daughter to the homeschool formal.  Since I'm helping to organize the formal I think she assumes they should go together.  The mom makes this huge deal about it....he'll hardly talk to my daughter.  I think the mom is telling him to ask her and he'd really like to go with someone else.  I feel a bit betrayed...isn't that ridiculous!!!! 

Where is accountability anymore?  Kids are dying because no one holds them accountable to anything.  A young man died in a car crash on Friday because he was way over the speed limit.  Everyone knew he had a lead foot but no one called him on it and now he's gone.  A 15 year old is pregnant because her parents couldn't stop her from dating the wrong boy.  Another kid is failing out of school and is basically believing he is worthless because no one ever pushed him to study harder and quit goofing off.  Another young man thinks God hates him and he has no future because his parents wouldn't demand that he set some goals for himself.  They wouldn't let him decide what he wanted to do with his life so now he's doing nothing.  These are homeschooled kids.  What's going on?!?

I hope I can sleep tonight but I doubt it...too much is rolling around in my brain.  I think I'll curl up with a cup of tea and my Bible and bring my questions, concerns and conversation to my Father.