Feb. 27, 2007 -

My FIL is very sick. He has been for about the last month. But we didn't really find out how sick until the past couple of days. He has been admitted to the hosp. for congestive heart failure. My MIL isn't one to get really worried unless she has ample cause to, and she was really worried that he wouldn't make it many a nights.  I don't have the energy to write the whole story about how he found out he was sick. And this whole time I have been pretty emotionless. Just listening and taking it all in. I have never lost anyone really close to me. My grandmother died, but that was 10 yrs in the making after she got sick, and was dead to me long before she actually died. It was a relief when she died to know that she was in heaven and had her mind again( she had alzeimers ).  So facing down the thought that my FIL might not be here is very frightening. My husband has already suffered 1 traumatic loss. His sister died about 10 yrs ago. I was never fortunate enough to meet her. I wish that I could have.  I just can't imagine what it would be like to lose a sister and a father. Especially since his dad is farely young. 58 isn't that old. I pray that he recovers. The doc say that he will never get better. He will get stronger, but he will not get better. They are talking about the possibility about him never going back to work. I can't imagine that. The whole time I have known my FIL, he has lived to work. To work and to mow. When I think about him, I think about him working, mowing and laying in the sun. He loves to lay in the sun. He also lived for his grandkids. He loved having my #2 over and riding on the tractor.  I pray that God gives him strength, and peace. This must be such a hard pill to swallow. His whole lifestyle is going to change.  I can't do much for my inlaws right now, but I hope that they know that I love them, and I am praying for them.  The other thing that is on my mind tonight is that my dad came to visit my FIL at the hosp. It was a total shock to me to have in come visit. It really meant alot to me that he took the time to come and visit. He told me that he really considers my FIL a friend, and to see him going through something like that is hard. But I couldn't help but notice the absence of my mother.  I won't say much more about that. There isn't much more to say, why would I expect something different from her?