This is the second time I have gone through this book. Every time it is so convicting. I was encouraged, however, because when asked to list 10 things you would like to see change in your marriage....I could not think of 10! I was so happy and blessed to realize that there have been improvements since I had last read the book (a couple years ago).

One thing I don't understand is why it is so hard to be what we were created for. I guess it must be our sin nature? I have been memorizing the key verse for the chapter....

1 Corinthians 11:8,9

For the man is not of the woman but the woman of the man Neither was the man created for the woman but the woman for the man.

The woman of the man, the woman for the man......of the man, for the man. Our culture has it so backwards and mixed up. We our led to believe that our husbands have to help us, that they owe us something. Sometimes I find myself racking up a bill when I do things for Joe. I then get more and more bitter each time I do something for him. This is not right.

The past couple days, I have decided to joyfully serve him. To say "sure honey" with a smile on my face. As I serve him I want to keep in mind that this is what I was created for. Ya know what?....It is so much easier! It is a blessing to just serve without expecting anything. I also find that he is much more willing to help out and do for himself, when I am not such a pill.

One of the words Debi suggests to look up in Scripture is goodness. The verse that stood out to me was;

Proverbs 31:12

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Do him good.....not evil. I must admit, sadly, that I have done more evil than good. But, I now want to make the choice to consciously DO HIM GOOD all the days of my life. It is a daily, minute by minute choice to serve, to lay down our lives for our families. Our culture tells us to take care of ourselves first. We live in a "me, me, me" society. We must take deliberate action to act against the grain of our culture and be what we were created to be.....A Help Meet for our men. They need us. we were created to fill a vital role, and when we neglect to do our job the family structure, as the Lord created it, suffers. This coming week I want to seek the Lord to work in me the attitude and heart change necessary to be the woman that my man needs. I want to spend my days doing the things that bless him, not just the things I feel like doing.

Have a good week being what you where created to be! I will see you here next week for chapter 2! Leave your link below.

• Tell me what you think! • Send to a Friend!

Posted by momofsix

That is a great post. The woman is made for the man. In our times, it seems that the teaching is that the man is suppose to be made for the woman, knowing our every need and meeting it (he,he). That is a great post to remind us to go against that flow of thinking.

• Permanent Link

Posted by Anonymous

Sorry Cammie but my book hasn't come yet. I will try to join in next Friday:) I am excited to read it.

-Kimm

• Permanent Link

Posted by poshred1

It IS so much easier to serve with that attitude! I really have to consciously decide to have it, and beg the Lord to help me have it, not just every day but several times a day, because boy am I good at keeping score. I constantly ask the Lord to call these things to my attention, because I do them without thinking. I also have a problem with giving "advice". I may do it "jokingly" even, but the intention is not good.

One of the bits of wisdom she gives that has really helped me with this is in this chapter. Debi says "It is not a question of whether or not you can do a better job than he; it is a matter of doing what you were "designed" to do. If you successfully do the job of leading the family, you will not find satisfaction in it. It is far better that the job be done poorly by your husband than to be done well by you." Wow! That for me was a huge smack in the forehead and a big relief.

My husband has always had me do the bills and handle the money, so it can be really hard not to take authority that isn't mine. I now try to discuss finances with him often, ask his opinion of any question that arises. A lot of the time he doesn't feel like thinking about it and just tells me to do what I think is best. It can get touchy when he wants to buy, say, a $200 saw and I know we don't have the money, or the money needs to go toward a bill. I used to stress and panic and get mad. Now(most of the time) I tell him how much we have, where it needs to go, and he decides what he wants to do. Sometimes, though less and less often I still get irritated and accusing.

I am so glad the Lord sets these boundaries for us. They are truly freeing.

Amy

• Permanent Link

Posted by mom2fourtreasures

I definately agree with the reason that we struggle with submitting is our sin nature. When I was a new christian I had a very wise friend tell me that whatever I feed more (my flesh, or my spirit), would be what rules me. I have never forgotton that. I try to steep my mind in the Word of God. I ask Him to accomplish His will in my life each day. I am on my 3rd time reading this study. I keep it handy so I can reference it when I need too, which is sometimes very often. I have been better at not even desiring to retaliate. It almost seemed impossible even 3 years ago. It seemed that if I thought it, out it came out of the blurt whole. Even if I didn't want to say something, most of the time I wanted to get my opinion in somewhere. Isn't God awesome?? He changes us when we submit. He is good. We find it's really important to keep a good bible study going at all times. It's a good way of accountability and fellowship, and also to keep the Word before us at all times. I hope your garden does great this year. Keep me posted.
In Christ,
Geanine

• Permanent Link

Posted by DanielleW

Great post! And you are so right about our culture having it backwards.

• Permanent Link

Posted by Anonymous

A friend recently spoke proudly of not turning her husband's clothing right side out if that was how HE put it in the hamper. She was beaming with her self-righteousness and happy to let him do it himself.
Where's her heart of a servant? I gladly "fix" my hubby's clothing. He works hard each day for us and I can love him in the little things as well as the big ones. We can all find things like this to change and be better wives to our husbands.
I've got my issues too. Let's rejoice in conviction and change! :)
Michelle

• Permanent Link