Sorry that it has been so long since I have blogged on here.  Things have been busy and honestly, with being pregnant, I just don't want to put my brain in gear to think at the end of the day.  I just wanna sleep :)

So much has been going on lately and I hope to get some other thoughts in type soon but for today I just have to tell of my latest adventure:

The day before Easter I got this crazy idea to drive "home" to FL (we moved to KY as missionaries just 7 months ago).  Casey had work to do but I thought it would be fun for just me and the five kids to jump in the car make the 14 hour drive together!  There were some key happenings in FL last week and mainly, my sister was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and I was just itching to hug her neck and spend some time with her.  So...  my trusting husband decided to let me go and we left the next day, right after church.  I drove to my brother's in GA (9 hours) and the next day followed him to FL (7 hours because I got lost- no biggie :).  We had an amazing trip- the kids were fantastic and I actually stayed awake for most of the drive.  I just love being with my kids and this drive was no exception. 

We had a very full week in FL but enjoyed every minute of it.  OK, maybe the part of two of my girls having pinworms and then passing it on to another family there wasn't so great, but the rest of the trip was nice.  Don't worry, our dear friends returned the favor.  We gave them pinworms and they gave us...  well, I'll get to that later...

Before getting on the road for the trip home, I had to stop in at Publix for some vittles for the ride.  In the parking lot the wind caught hold of our car door and blew it into a neighboring minivan.  The damage was almost microscopic, really.  It left a tiny mark on the back right wheel well.  No biggie, I thought, but  I knew it was only right to leave an apology note on the dash with our phone number, just in case.   When I went to the front of the vehicle to stick the note under the windshield, I peered into the minivan and noticed an immaculate interior that most likely had never seen the likes of a melted crayon, let alone a car seat.  Shucks, not the best car to hit but still, no big deal. 

When we came out of Publix the owner of the van was in it reading the note.  I politely escorted her to the miniscule scratch and, again, apologized.  She acted a little strange but  agreed that the mark was so small that it probably wasn't an issue.  Then she added that she would check with her husband.  Great.

Armed with a day's worth of Go-gurts and enough cheese sticks to stop up the kids for a week, we headed north.  Actually, my husband later informed me that we took the wrong way and actually headed south before heading north, but that's OK.  I knew where we were.  Nearly two hours into the trek my car began to die.  Literally die, right in the middle of the road.  I was able to coast to the shoulder just before my steering locked up.  Man, it's acting just like the time I ran out of....oh, no!  That was it, I ran out of gas.  How anyone could head out for a day -long road trip without remembering to fill up the tank was the question I've been asked over and over but...  well, you moms must understand that sometimes those important thoughts just sort of get lost in there somewhere between a which flavor juice boxes to buy and how bad is that dent?   Please tell me that you would have done the same thing if you had a shrunken pregnancy brain, a good Story Hour cassette on in the car (thanks Deb), and was mentally making sure you didn't forget anything important- like gas, my husband would say.  No,   like one of the kids!  I remembered ALL of them, thank you very much!

Fortunately my dad wasn't too far away to come rescue us.  He may say that he was far away but it was just enough time for three of the kids to go potty out the side door, lunch, and for me to take a short nap while being rocked to sleep by the thundering semis roaring by.  Dad bailed me out of this jam (a father's work is never done) and before I knew it, I was cruising right along.

Now for the payback from my friend.  You know the exchange for the pinworms?  Well, within an hour of our gas stop I heard a gagging cough coming from my two-year-old.  Any mom would have felt a lump in her throat when hearing that sound.  You know it.  It's the one that comes right before you hear your nine-year-old yell, "MOM!!!  Josie just threw up!!!"  Ok, no big deal.  Just gotta maneuver this little suburban across 15 lanes of speeding traffic to get to an exit and everything will be just fine.   After a 30 minute stop, Josie was cleaned up and we were "on the road again" (a little Willie for you, Jonatha).   My optimistic thought was how unfortunate for little Josie to have a touch of car sickness.

Thirty minutes later, the scenario repeated itself.   Man, car sick again.  Poor thing. The mess was nothing a couple dozen wipies and clothes pins for the whole family couldn't take care of.  After forty-five minutes, we were... well, we were wondering if we would ever make it out of the state at this pace!

Another 30 minutes goes by and well, you get the idea that, despite my best optimism, this wasn't car sickness.  My girl had a bug that just wasn't going to fly away.  Armed with nothing to catch throw-up, a dwindling supply of jackets and pillow cases to do the catching, and about 20 precious wipes left in the box, we trudged along.   I must say that my oldest daughter was beyond a trooper.  She was AMAZING!!!  She lovingly calmed her little sister each time she threw up, cleaned the mess, and assured me that she had it all under control.  That cut down on the number of stops but even so, it soon became apparent that we were going to have to find somewhere to hunker down for the night.

I chose to get off at the Savannah exit so that we could stay in a real town and not some obscure motel just off the interstate.  I'm not convinced that Savannah even exists because, after getting more than 20 miles from the interstate, the only thing I could find was a really bad neighborhood.  By the grace of God, I found my way back to our original road within 5 minutes.  I know that doesn't mathematically compute unless I was driving in circles but by now you've probably figured with me behind the wheel,  that was totally possible!  

To tell you the truth, I was laughing at all of this up to this point.  My husband and I long ago decided that sometimes... you JUST GOTTA LAUGH or else you'll just cry ( get the blog name?).  So I laughed.  I laughed at the small dent (and appreciated the opportunity to give my kiddies a lesson in honesty), giggled at how silly it was of me to run out of gas, chuckled at the throw up smell that was quickly "becoming one" with the vehicle that I was destined to spend the next two days driving in, and I even found it funny that I could get so turned around near  Savannah.  I knew I would laugh at it looking back someday so why wait?  Why not find the humor in it now, you know?

Oh yeah, I was all smiles until my cell phone rang:  "Um, this is the lady whose car you hit at Publix.  Well, I talked to my husband and he said that it will cost a couple hundred dollars to fix the damage."  OK, now I was ready to cry!  I thought she had to be kidding.  I could fix that scratch with a bottle of metallic nail polish from the Dollar Tree and her husband wants $200 for it!!!???  I politely told her my situation.  You know-  missionary, five kids, ran out of gas, long trip, baby with a stomach bug.  I may have even sunk real low and told her about my sick sister, I don't really remember   ( at the time I was balancing my life size road atlas on the steering wheel, looking for any familiar road numbers, getting the puke update, holding the cell phone, and tougher than that, holding back the tears).  None of that made her back down so I sweetly told her that I would have to call her back if  I ever reached my home again.  I also gave her my home number just in case I yielded to the nagging temptation to throw the phone out the window so that I would never have to hear from her again  (all the while showing my kids that honesty is the best policy).   It took all I had not to cry.  Really.  But all I had was nothing compared to what the Lord has.  He reminded me that He does indeed honor us when we follow his ways.  I relayed that message to the kids and encouraged them to pray that the Lord would change the husband's heart.  That's a small request for a BIG God.

We were soon in the parking lot of a Best W***ern (thought I would protect the name of this chain so that you aren't deterred from staying in one just north of Savannah, should you ever find your way there.  Of course the outbreak of the stomach bug in that area, stemming from the Best W***ern room #303 has probably already made it's way to the media. ).   I was faced with the challenge of getting in there to get rates, availability info, quarantine policies- you know, the basics.  Just when I was picturing myself waddling in there (I had to go potty so bad I knew I wouldn't be able to walk) with five road weary kids and one sticky, diapered, projectile vomiter, I spotted a van in the parking lot with the hotel's phone number on it!  I called and once I found out that they had a washing machine, I was sold.  What was so amazing is that after hearing my situation, the clerk offered to come out to the car to get my card and ID, go inside to ring it up, and then bring it back along with forms to sign!!  I had hit the jack pot!  Actually, on the way there I was praying that the lord would allow me to grow an extra set of arms by the time we got there but it must not have been His will.  This was definitely the next best thing. 

We did the paperwork and all I had to do was get the kids up to the room without Josie "blessing" the elevator.  Mission accomplished.  I told the older kids that we would spend the evening eating pizza and watching T.V.  They weren't too disappointed.  After going to the bathroom, my first mission was to find the washer and to get the soiled laundry in it.  Most importantly, I had to get Josie's "B" in there.  It is her little comfort blankey and, of course, the first thing she threw up on.  She had been asking for it ever since.  I left three kids in the room (is that legal?) and put the two littlest ones on the luggage cart.  We found the washing machine, got change for the washing machine, found the lady to tell us how to use the washing machine, then found out where to buy soap for the washing machine, and then got change for the soap for the washing machine.  Details, details.  I was finally hearing the peaceful swish swish of the washer when I heard the sudden announcement from my four-year-old, "MOMMY!!!  I have to throw up!!!!"  Like a seasoned pro, I scooped her up and aimed her for the nearest garbage can.  Bulls-eye.  We hit the target but unfortunately the target had one of those swivel lids so it wasn't exactly a clean shot.  You might be beginning to understand my previous statement about the outbreak of a stomach bug in that area... 

Funny thing.  Upon realizing that now my two youngest children were now plagued with this bug, I had this fleeting thought:  Well, what else could happen now?  It can't get any worse.  I say the thought was fleeting because even I know better.  I will not put God to the test.  It certainly could have been worse.  I'll take what's in front of me.  Just give me the strength, Lord  was my next, and more permanent, thought.  

With two little girls throwing up every thirty minutes- only it wasn't synchronized- you can imagine what the rest of the night looked like for me.  I made at least 15 trips down to the ground floor to rotate laundry (oh, by the way, Josie's "B" wasn't in that first load.  I had missed it because it was tied up in a separate bag in the car.  This meant repeating the whole laundry scene again but by that time the girls had made sure that we had plenty to wash), get stuff from the car, "borrow" towels from the fitness room, "borrow" towels from the pool area, ask for help from the front desk on how to use my phone.  You get the idea.  All the while, I had to leave the children in the room.  The other time that I dared take Josie with me, she threw up all over the 1st level floor and the luggagecart that she was perched on.  When I left her in the room, I came back to find that she had thrown up all over her helpful big sister.  This warranted another trip to the car to get her suitcase.  I was trying not to haul a bunch of luggage up there because I knew I would only have to bring it back down again in the morning.  No matter what I did or how I handled things, I was just barely keeping up with all of the excitement. 

The room was perfect, having two double beds and a pull-out sofa.  By the time we left, the girls had thrown up on every piece of bedding in that room.  They went through countless towels, garbage bags, and hand towels.  I kept calling down to the front desk to request replacement items, each time disguising my voice.  FYI: That doesn't work when they know what room number you're calling from.  The extremely helpful clerk that went out of her way to check us in was quickly getting fed up with my phone calls, requests, and seeing me roaming the halls with my near naked children who were ready to explode at any moment.  I knew our time there was running out.

But what was I going to do?  The girls continued to throw up all night and were both sporting red-hot fevers.  I wasn't even sure that I could get us all back into the car and if I did, I had nothing- I mean nothing- to catch the throw-up for the next 8 hours.  On top of that there was no telling who would get it next. Early in the morning, I made a great discovery.  Those little ice buckets that hotels have with the inconspicuous plastic liner/bags are a life saver when you have children who are throwing up.  If you can catch it (that's a BIG "if"), once they've done their deed, all you have to do is tie up the liner and toss it.  Put in a new one and you're ready for the next attack.  The bucket even has a tight fitting lid.  Every mom needs one of these, I'm telling you from experience.  Tell your husband that you have to go stay at a hotel this weekend so that you can add it to your mothering arsenal.  The only trouble is, ice buckets aren't exactly in the same category as those cute little shampoo bottles and soap bars.  They kind of belong to the hotel. 

Once I had a plan for getting out of our trashed, uh I mean, gently used, room, I called down to the front desk bright and early.  No need to disguise my voice, they had a shift change during the night.  After getting the check out time (I had two hours to give the kids baths, breakfast, and to make my run for it), I asked what they charge to the bill for "missing" ice bucket.  The gentleman said "Oh, don't worry about it if you lost yours, m’am."  In all honesty I replied, " Oh, no sir.  I didn't lose the bucket but I am planning on stealing it."  Is there an honest way to steal something?  Anyway, he promised not to charge me for it and I promised to be out of the place by 11 A.M. and to never come back (Casey thinks they have my picture posted at all the Best W***erns by now).  If you saw the room when we left, you could see why.  If it wouldn't have meant another trip to the car to get the camera, I would surely have taken a picture of the place upon our departure.  The mound of laundry was over taking one of the rooms (remember, linens from three beds, plus the replacement bedding, a ton of pillows, too many towels to count, and even more wash clothes and hand towels).  I had other towels strategically placed around the room to warn of "soiled" spots on the carpet.  The garbage cans were full and over flowing with various unidentifiable liquids, and you could almost see the germs.  

I ran into the housekeeper on my way out and warned her of the impending danger in exchange for a couple dozen more ice bucket liners.  We were ready!  Thankfully, I have an awesome husband who at the same time, was already heading in our direction so that we could meet up and he could drive us back.  I only had to drive 4 more hours until I had reinforcements with me.  Of course, by the time the whole family was back together and headed for home things had slowed down quite a bit.  We only had about four throw-up episodes (which, since relieved of my driving duties, I was strategically placed to catch) and the girls slept most of the way.  My husband was probably wondering what was so bad that I needed him to help get us home.  Or maybe he was still pondering how I could run out of gas.  Or maybe he was wondering if he would ever let me go on a road trip again.  Or maybe...

Once home, I broke the news to him about the "damage" done in the Publix parking lot.  We agreed that I would call the victims back and request that they get some quotes.  In the mean time I was contemplating whether or not I should Fed Ex the nail polish to her.  We also prayed and reminded the kids that God would take care of it.  I picked up the phone to call her back like I said I would and began to ask her for the necessary info.  She stopped me mid sentence and told me that her husband was able to go out there and rub the paint mark off!  It wasn't even a scratch after all.  It was just a paint mark left by our green door.  I don't know what compelled the man to go check it out again.  Could have been me mentioning my sob story but I have to know it was all those prayers! 

So now I'm home, safe and sound.  Everyone seems to be over the pinworms and the stomach bug.   And just in case someone does get sick again, I have my new best friend :  my handy dandy ice bucket with the Best W***ern logo printed on the side.  It also doubles as a souvenir of a trip that I won’t be forgetting for a long time. 

Posted by mrssulli

I have laughed so much, and then again while Chad read it! As a matter of fact, I'm still laughing! We took a trip to the beach last year and the baby started with that sickness. We spent the entire weekend using the hotel rooms trash can and bags. I learned so much - now we have a permanent bucket and walmart bags at the ready for our next bout (we actually just got over one last week). I was actually thankful it happened at the hotel, although it wasn't exactly a relaxing weekend, but we left all the germs there! I'm glad you found your way back to KY! You guys have been in my prayers!

love, jonatha

Posted by Tammy M

You made me laugh so much. I could never had held back the tears. I'm so thankful you all made it home safely & finally :)
Just tonight we had the vomitting episode- TWICE- at the dinner table in a restaurant with our little "Katie-bug". The waitress told me (in a nice way) that she doesn't do bodily liquids very well and I told her to bring over that garbage can and I'd just dump the whole plate in there for her. She didn't end up doing it, so I just covered it up nicely for her. I hope they let us come back! Miss you and love you all, hang in there... Give all your little ones the biggest hug from their Aunt Tammy!

Posted by Nina

You know that my heart ached for you while you were going through all of this but reading it now I wonder why I ever doubted you'd be fine! You are amazing and a truly talented writer! I laughed and I cried reading this wonderful saga. I love you all!
Nina

Posted by cammiemelisabray

That is one of the best road trip stories I have ever read! I will keep this in mind if I ever think about venturing out on my own......I am glad you survived and the ice bucket thing is genius!

Cammie

Posted by Alison

You crack me up! Gabe had the stomach bug yesterday and we've hit a real milestone. He can now tell us he has to throw up and he does it in the toilet. Oh happy day!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feel bad about the gas. I locked the kids in the truck when Alex was about 3 weeks old. It was our first outing, me and 2 kids, and I locked them in. Luckily it was running with the AC going. My first mom instinct was to break the window but then I realized they were ok. I told my neighbors through tears 'I should have never had another one!' The joys of motherhood!
Love ya!

Posted by 5lilpeppers

I am so glad I read 'old' blogs.

If you never get a chance to write again this entry a lone should be kept on the internet in honor of one very gutsy mommy.

I rarely attempt the smallest trip ie to the grocery store or library without my dh.

What a survivor!

Thanks for sharing this with us. I am cutting and pasting it into my documents!!

We just have 4 young children but know the Lord will bless us with more. I can only hope to develop a fraction your easy going attitude. I am way too serious and tend to make matters worse.

Please do try to blog some more... sometime.

Jacinda