The Dance
by Garth Brooks
We lost a baby in 2004. Harvey Richard Harris lived for 12 days in March. As much pain and as much heartache and grief as we have been through by his short life and death, we would not change it for the world. I would have to say that much good came of his life and death. I would say we grew as people and as parents. We are amazed at how many people he touched in those few short days. This song was so hard to hear and listen to for many many months after Harvey's death. Now, 4 years later, I can listen to it without a complete breakdown, without tears welling up uncontrollably. I still sigh a lot listening to it.
I still think about him and all the things that could have been and should have been. He would be 4.5 years old now. Starting kindergarten! If he were alive and anything like our other children, he would be busy and into everything. He'd be a very active boy and keep us all on our toes with his humor and antics. I imagine he would have been a very big boy for his age, being that he started out at about 11 pounds.
Our life has moved on since March of 2004. We have added to our family since then - a girl and a boy and one on the way. We've moved across the country twice - once to Ontario and once back to the prairies. My dh has changed jobs numerous times and we have experienced many many things in the last four years, but nothing has affected us a deeply or as drastically in so many ways as those 12 days. Our relationships with others changed - some good, some bad, but that's life.
We have come out of that experience, or rather, are living with that experience with a different view on life. God is ultimately in control and although we can plan and dream and organize everything to the nines, we can't forget that HE can change things in a moment, that HE will put His plans into place no matter what we want or try to do. But we've also come through it knowing that HE is in control and that HE knows us. That HE will not give us more than we can handle! And, let me tell you, you don't know what you can handle until you are in the situation. Trust His Word. He will never let you down.
I don't know what your situation is right now. I don't know what you are struggling with. Money? Marriage difficulties? Starting homeschooling? New baby? A move or changing jobs? All of the above? You can do it, not alone, but with God and with the people HE has placed around you to help you. Please remember that you are not an island. God didn't create us to be islands. He created us to be part of a family. That's another thing we learned! Family isn't just the people you were "placed" with. Family can be church, a community group. For us, we have three families - our extended "traditional" family, our fire fighting family and our church family. Each serves a purpose and each adds so much to our lives. Find your family, the people that care about you. Reach out to them. Let them help you. But most importantly, trust God! HE will get you through.
