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Well, things aren't looking good for dad. He is hurting more and more all the time and he is not able to do any of the most simple things. We still don't have an official diagnoises from the doctor yet, but it's looking more and more like he has Lou Gehrig's disease. Last week his skin has started to "ripple" and this week he is having trouble swallowing his food. I know the "usual" life expectancy for Lou Gehrig's is 3-5 years, but as quickly as dad is getting worse, I don't know if he will even make it another year. I can't imagine the thought of losing my dad. He is my best friend and my daddy. He's the most awsome father anyone could ever ask for and he is everything to me. He just turned 58 a couple of weeks ago. He's too young to die already. My kids are too young to lose their Papaw already. Kathleen is old enough that she will be able to remember him well, but the others, especiallly Lincoln, won't have many memories of what a wonderful Papaw they had. I just can't stand to see dad in so much pain. He hurts so much all the time. Every little thing just wears him out and he gets so out of breath. I hate seeing him like this. I wish God would just heal him of all this and restore him back to his health again. I wish I knew why God is allowing this to happen. I know it's all in His perfect plan, I just don't like not knowing what "the plan" is. |
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I don't know what's wrong with me today. My fuse is extremely short and every little thing is just really getting to me. Isabelle's mouth today has been horrid. She has argued with me about every single thing there is to discuss - and things that don't need to be discussed. Lincoln has had 4 accidents this morning. It's like he just completely forgot everything we have been doing all week long. We are supposed to take a field trip tomorrow with our home school group, and I'm wondering if I should leave him at home (with a babysitter, of course, lol). We haven't left the house all week (which is probably another reason I'm on edge today) and we can't just sit in the house forever waiting for him to get this down "perfectly". If that's the case, we'll never leave the house!!! lol. I still don't have it down perfectly and I'm a grown adult!!! I'm just finished. Dh travels every single week leaving early Monday morning and getting home late Thursday night. He works on Friday until 7ish and then the weekends are busy with "something". After 8 years of doing this every single week, I'm really getting worn out. I'm tired of being a single mom (for all intents and purposes). I'm tired of potty training by myself and being the "bad guy" all the time. What I'm really tired of doing - making three meals every single day. I know it's something stupid, but for some reason, I'm tired of getting meal together. Don't get me wrong - I don't cook, especially during the week when dh is gone. It's usually sandwiches, hot dogs, chicken, or whatever else I can throw together easily. I know it's not hard, and it's something small, but I'm just tired of doing it. School starts Monday. I actuallly think I'm more happy about it than stressed. We will finally have some order and structure to our days. I need my order and structure back. I can't deal with chaos. Speaking of chaos, I have to finish getting my stuff cleaned up in our school room so I have all my stuff together. That also means moving my "office" back down to the basement. Somehow it has all slowly crept up into the dining room and taken over the one room in the house that is mess-free. Time to get back to work...... |
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First of all, I knew I would be terrible at this blogging thing. I just don't have the time to sit down and "write". Oh well, I guess I will do what I can. This week has been potty training week. Lincoln (2 1/2) has been ready for awhile now, but mommy has been putting it off. I hate potty training. I hate living my life waiting to run to the toilet and cleaning up even more messes. I hate potty training. Lincoln, on the other hand, loves potty training. Who wouldn't when they get 2 M&M's every time they potty on the toilet!!! I would love to have chocolate everytime I went potty too!!! I have to say though, he has done really well. Day 1 - Monday - it was awful, of course. I think we went through 6 pairs of underwear in about 3 hours, and that was *before* he drank the 20oz bottle of water. I guess I shouldn't say he "drank" it, it was more like he chugged it!!! I knew we were gonig to be spending a lot of time in the bathroom!! Just before lunch though, something just clicked. He told me he had to go potty, we went and he peed!!! We cheered, we clapped, I lavished kisses all over his face, we hugged, and we danced - oh, and then he did get his M&M's. After that, I don't think he had another accident the rest of the day. Of course, at nap time I did put a diaper back on him. He is not ready for that yet. I have to say, out of all of my kids, we started off bad, but it was the best first day I've had with any of the kids!!! Day 2 - Tuesday - He did good again. Ok, so he did pee some on Jena's carpet, but he stopped it and finished on the potty!!! After dinner he told me he had to go, I sat him on the potty and away he went!!!! I knew he didn't pee a lot, but I guess I didn't realize how little he pees. He drank about half of another 20oz bottle of water, but I guess he just doesn't go a whole lot. Of course, his diaper was soaked when he got up from his nap and in the mornings, but I don't think he's holding it in and waiting until he has a diaper on. He is going a couple of times in the morning and then maybe once between nap and bedtime. I can't say I go to the potty a whole lot either. Maybe once he gets more used to going and more familiar with things I will see him going more? We'll see. Day 3 - Wednesday (today) - Ugh. I think this potty training thing is almost going too well. I was awakened at 6 am (he actually slept in today!!!) by a cute little 2 year old face saying, "Potty Mommy, potty". I dragged my body out of bed and to the bathroom we went. As I took his diaper off, it was warm so I have a feeling he had already gone in his diaper. Maybe that's what woke him up? I am starting to get concerned though. He wakes up every morning with a dirty diaper. It's just one of those things you can count on (yes, a lovely way to start the day). He has not pooped in 3 days!!! On occassion, he will get up and not be dirty, but then he will have one by lunch. He still has not pooped at all this week. Not in his diaper, not on the potty - nothing. At this point, I just want him to poop to know that he is alright. I'm sure it's coming. I have just been waiting for it - but it's not here. It's not as if he's not drinking plenty of water, that's for sure. lol. I guess we'll wait and see what happens today. School starts on Monday and I do not feel I am ready yet. Yea, I have everything together and bought, but I don't have the calendar up, the room decorated, or the bulletin boards up. Not to mention having anything planned to do. That has to be on my list for today. I'm so glad Savannah will be here today!!! Guess I better get busy. It's going to be a long day.
I have to ammed this - HE WENT POOPY IN THE POTTY!!!!!! Ok, so I'm not at all excited about it, but this is the first day in 7 years I have not changed a dirty diaper!!!! He actually told me he had to go potty, after he peed he just kept sitting on there. He kind of asked for a diaper, but by that time the poppy was already heading into the toilet (not that he would have gotten a diaper anyway). He thought it was really cool that it just dropped in the toilet so he wanted to drop more in!! lol. After not going for 2 days, he had a lot to drop. hee hee!!! I am so glad he finally pooped and the icing on the cake is that he went in the potty!!! Ok - back to setting up the school room...... |