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This was the question our 3 1/2 year old asked the other day when she dressed herself and did her own hair. Unusual for many little girls, our daughter does not battle us over what she wears and actually prefers me to pick out her clothes. I find her compliance in this area mind boggling since she is so opinionated in every other area of life! I am learning it can be very easy to raise a vain and self-absorbed daughter. There are opportunites in every area of life. How we dress our girls, do their hair, talk to them, treat them, what we allow them to watch and what toys we allow them to play with are some of the ways we can impart our views of beauty to our daughters. Without making a conscious effort, I can often find myself extolling more her appearance than her attitude and character. And how many people's first comment to a little girl when they see her at church or a party is "Oh how pretty you look!" or "That is such a cute dress!"? Not because this is a Biblical mandate, but I do believe that girls should dress like little girls instead of miniature women and play with babies instead of sexy, made-up dolls. I think it makes a difference in their attitude, the way they are viewed and thus relate to other kids and adults. As a side note, I really appreciate the girl clothes my mom and sister find at thrift stores (believe or not) because they are one of few places where modest, little girl clothes can still be found instead of the latest adult fashions found at most popular children's clothing stores. So what was the answer to her question? I'm not claiming it was the perfect answer, for I don't think I've scored any of those yet, but it was something like , "Darling, you made a wonderful choice in your outfit, but you know that your sweet and loving heart make you prettier than anything else." And I usually end comments like this reminding her that she is my treasure. It seems near impossible to combat today's explosion of media & thought directed towards little girls that robs them of their innocence and purity. But this is a task we are up for because it is important for her, her brother, her future husband, and any future children she has. Way too important for us to throw our hands up and admit retreat, don't you think? I am so thankful for the two precious daughters we've been blessed to love and raise. No detail of appearance or behavior goes unnoticed by our little E. I don't want that to change - she will always love painted toe nails, curled hair and a dress she can twirl. She is and probably always will be a very feminine and girly girl. We even talk about it being good for girls to dress and act differently than boys. I just want her to see that beauty comes from much deeper - a "gentle and quiet spirit" 1 Peter 3:4. It's hard to imagine E as ever being "quiet", but I see this verse characterizing meekness, humility, and cheerful submission to the Lord's commands and will. Little girls are a mother's treasure and despite my past and present failures as a mother, I pray that my daughters fully understand by God's grace the priceless jewels they are to us and in His crown. |
I'm enjoying this little slice of unabashed submission while it lasts! Anyway, I had not picked her outfit that morning and was too busy with other things to go upstairs, so that left her to choose her outfit. Honestly, I don't even remember what she picked out, but it was a good choice weather-wise and tasteful. What I do remember vividly was the tone of her question, "Do I look pretty?" So simple yet so meaningful. She seemed to want to know if I thought her look (and therefore she) was approved of in my eyes. In the haste of my morning routine, I was about to fire off a quick reply such as "Of course you look pretty" or "That outfit is adorablel". Somehow (thankfully) the Holy Spirit quickened my heart and stopped me in my tracks to ponder a wiser answer to this important question. 
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Posted by Mom and Dad
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