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I think I know now what it feels like to be stuck in the spin cycle of a washing machine. Our lives are spinning so fast, it's making me dizzy. It's making me feel like this:
And this:
And especially this:
Without the intervention of a couple dear friends, I think I may have ended up like this today......
....which would've been bad since 4 little lives depend on me for their survial. Greg has been gone for 10 days now at Squadron Officer's School at Maxwell AFB in AL & he's not the only one learning alot right now! Besides only one other time I can think of, holding down the fort here alone has to be the toughest challenge I have ever faced in my short life! We are not to make for ourselves a paradise here on earth so I realize life isn't always going to be easy. Easy is not what I should strive for. But sometimes I do. And then I begin to feel like I'm being cheated or underserving of my trials. I want all the t's to be croseed and the i's dotted and everyone's hair to look perfect and socks to match and a gourmet meal to sit around every night as we discuss how much we love each other and all the toys to be in their correct bins and no more messy bibs or sticky Pediasure or Phoebe screeching or running late. All these examples are petty because I don't have the time now to delve into the real ones. Actually, challenges always bring me closer to the Lord in realizing that I am weak and incapable of accomplishing His will in my own strength. It's true - I am not deserving of my life - I deserve far worse. But God in his mercy chose to give me an inheritance worth far more than gold and rubies. If you feel led to pray, please pray that I grow in understanding of this good news. I am looking forward more than ever to a
Sisterly love - our little Eden has been a blessing to us all!!
Phoebe is walking with a walker now! Her preschool has been so good for her!! We are still awaiting results from her sleep study and genetic testing. Very anxious to hear the results! I realized why living without a diagnosis has been tough for me - because I don't have any standard to "compare" to execept a typical child. Maybe she is doing amazingly well for her condition, but we don't have the luxury of knowing that. How many times do you think "She learned to read and she was only four - wow" or "He learned to walk at 9 months - can you believe that?" I realized recently how often I make these comparisions in my mind to validate my job as a parent/teacher. And how often I have felt defeated for Phoebe's delays, impairments, sensory dysfunction in wondering if she could do more if only I......(spent more time with her, found better therapists, bought more resources). I have no silver lining here - just a confession that I'm still working through this and it's a hurdle.
I don't know which makes me smile more - Brady (outfitted by Greg) or Phoebe hugging him?
Eden - 8 months old
Heading out to our soccer games with DD and Poppa in October.
The day Greg left for SOS. I hold his picture up to her every night and she "kisses" it. It's amazing the way she shows emotion and love. She loves her Daddy!!
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Wanted to make you smile! It sure makes me smile!Comments
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Posted by Anonymous
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