Dec. 20, 2006 - Thoughts on Christmas
We are only days away from celebrating our first Christmas as a family of 6. (The story of our family journey began a little over a year ago. ) It has been an incredibly trying year, to say the least. Then, when the children are in their beds, hopefully sleeping, I have a chance to reflect on our day. Was it a bad day with raging and anger flying about our house? Was I the angry one today and how did that affect the overall mood in my home? Or was it good? There may have been raging and anger, but in the end, did it all end well? Was I loving toward my children? Did I show them Jesus? Did they see Him in spite of me? I certainly hope so. I know He is working in our lives and changing us each day. I think I just might be a bit more wise and a mite less judgemental. I hope so. Anyway, I was going to talk about Chrismas. This holiday is always difficult for me. After my mom died, when I was 9, we didn't celebrate holidays any more. I told my dad that I was just going to be the best Jehovah's Witness EVER. What I was really saying was that I was in so much pain, I couldn't deal with trying to do something that could involve any kind of joy. I felt guilty for being happy for a long time. I felt like being happy meant that I'd forgotten my mom's death. I know now that doesn't even make sense. I got saved when I was 15 and felt a bit more like celebrating, but it was always awkward for me. Now I've married a semi-humbug. He grew up poor in a broken family and he always felt the outcast. I felt the outcast due to my family history (that's a story in itself, perhaps I'll tell someday). However, my gifts were boutiful. I never was even allowed to want something for very long. Even after I married, my dad was sure to try to give me anything I mentioned was neat or cool. I learned to keep my mouth shut. This Christmas is so different. The 3 younger kids get more presents due being foster kids. They get them from CASA, DHS, and their grandpa and mom. Christopher is feeling a little jealous even though he knows he shouldn't. Knowing that he'd feel that way, I wanted to get him more stuff, but that kind of goes against the other part of me. I think we've kept it pretty simple in the past, but I always felt we gave him too much. Our excuse is that we don't really buy stuff during the year for him. Also, he only has one grandparent so it isn't like he has the excitement of grandparent gifts. (I'm gonna be the best Grandma in the whole world, but not any sooner that 10 years for the oldest!) Now I know that Christmas is not at all about the recieving of gifts. I just feel so disjointed about it all. We don't have any family traditions. My husband isn't really into Christmas, although he can give some really great gifts. Minimul decorating and no Christmas music is really acceptable when he's home. We do have stockings, but my kids know that there isn't a Santa watching their every move and that only God knows when we've been good or bad. Their gifts are not a measure of their behaviour. I always wanted stocking when I was growing up. I think I first heard of such a thing in a "Little House" book. I guess we do have one tradition: we read an advent book every year. Oh, I don't know. These are just a few thoughts milling around in the dusty corners of my brain. I have this idea of what I really want our family gatherings to be, how I want our holidays to be, and where I want our hearts to be.
On a lighter note, I am so excited for our Christmas becasue it is going to be just the 6 of us relaxing all day. I'm not making a big meal and entertaining a house full of guests. As much as I love to do that, I would just like to rest a bit. I had offered at first to have my husband's side of the family over. His mom is one of 5 children and her parents come along, too. I think it may be better if I do that every other year. We aren't very close to them and it is work to spend the day with people you see only once a year at the most. It's small talk all day long. (We've seen my husbands mom more often. I think up to 4 times a year.) I'd rather have just his mom over and be able to relax.
What are some family traditions that you ladies have? I'd love to hear about some of the things you do.
On a lighter note, I am so excited for our Christmas becasue it is going to be just the 6 of us relaxing all day. I'm not making a big meal and entertaining a house full of guests. As much as I love to do that, I would just like to rest a bit. I had offered at first to have my husband's side of the family over. His mom is one of 5 children and her parents come along, too. I think it may be better if I do that every other year. We aren't very close to them and it is work to spend the day with people you see only once a year at the most. It's small talk all day long. (We've seen my husbands mom more often. I think up to 4 times a year.) I'd rather have just his mom over and be able to relax.
What are some family traditions that you ladies have? I'd love to hear about some of the things you do.
Comments
Dec. 21, 2006 - looking forward to getting to know you
Posted by homeskoolmom
So glad you stopped by my blog. Thank you so much for the encouragement. Sounds like we might have some things in common. Hubby's parents are foster parents. We've studied with some JW's for about a year hoping to plant the seed. Don't know if we'll ever know if the seed took root or not.
God bless,
Christine
Dec. 22, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by cloudwatchers
Hey, thanks for the comment on my blog. I'd love to read more about how your kids learn.
Oh and how did the tomato staking go? I have occasionally done that with my three-year-old. It usually has excellent results, but I don't kn ow how I'd do that with more than one child.
