Jun. 23, 2008 - Don't be a Clam
I was sitting in church yesterday in my normal place way in the back when a friend of mine poked me in the arm. I thought it was just a silly, “Hey there” sort of poke until he leaned over and said something like, “I have a picture of you as a clam.” A clam? Why not a gazelle, swan, or a beautiful butterfly? He said it could be from God or it could just all be in his head since he knows what I’m going through right now. He described how a clam shuts itself up when it gets scared to protect itself. However, it can’t get nourishment when it stays shut like that. He wasn’t sure if it applied to me, exactly. It totally applies to me. I was sitting in church yesterday surrounded by tons of people who love me. My good friend led worship that morning. I love that when he leads the church in worship that it feels the same as if I’m sitting in his living room worshipping. Its not showy, but real. Then I watched as a huge group of people (young, old, and in-between) gathered around my boy Christopher to lay hands on him and pray for him. My heart rejoiced and broke at the same time. My good friend said she tried to pray for him, but she could only cry. I love her. A couple of people came to me and prayed for me reminding me of the promises of Jesus to never leave me or forsake me. Also, a friend had said that she was thankful for me because no matter what comes my way she has seen me made a choice to serve and love Jesus. (Okay, its either that or do it on my own-so my choice is already made for me.) Then, another good friend told me that I don’t have to look happy all the time. It’s okay to just let go and cry or be sad or angry. (On that note, I’m afraid that if I really start crying I may never stop.) So, back to the clam thing. It was after all those other things had happened and I was thinking that I just need to buck up a bit. This is the way things are going to be and I need to just move on. I still feel like that today. I just want things to be normal...whatever that means.
Prayer Alert:
Please please please pray that the finalization of the adoption will be expedited. I talked with my adoption lawyer today and he said that hopefully it’ll be done in about 2 weeks. I know that doesn’t seem very long, but in our current circumstances it could make it or break it, so to speak. Please ask others to pray as well.
