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I have the bad and somewhat dangerous habit of nicknaming people. Quite a while ago there was a mom who had a child enrolled in the same activity that my child was enrolled in (I'm being vague on purpose here). I began calling her "The Desperate Housewife." Not to her face, of course, but just mainly to Big D and Indiana Mimi. I've never watched this TV program, but she earned the name from the clothes she wore and the literature (I use this term loosely) she chose to read to pass the time and the particular seemingly unnatural shade of her hair. I have since gotten to know her pretty well, and I've graciously decided that she is a very nice person and undeserving of the title. So now I just call her by her first name, which I can't disclose here because as nice as she is, I'm not sure how well my nickname would go over. Our single friend Jay does not really cook all that much. When he used to come to a weekly Bible study/potluck dinner with us, he always brought a bucket of chicken from KFC. One time I called him "Chicken Man," and it stuck like glue...or should I say grease? He knows we call him that though, and he's fine with it. I also called him a heathen once, but that's another story altogether. When Debbles and I were little, I had the bright idea to tell her three year-old self to call me "Big Buddy" from now on and I would call her "Little Buddy." I called her "Little Buddy" for a day. She called me "Big Buddy" for a decade. I still think she calls me that behind my back sometimes. Well, we have this neighbor that loves to celebrate holidays. Actually, he loves to celebrate specifically by filling his yard with large inflatables. Honestly, I have nothing against those blow-up things. I would never buy one, but I wouldn't shoot one down with a bb gun either. If you have one in your yard, I really, truly think that's just dandy. This neighbor that I'm referring to has about 12 of them. All in his front yard. All at the same time. My friends, I give you, Mr. Holiday...
Unfortunately, there were at least three of the blow-ups that were down towards the back. Faulty hose or something. And there's this huge ghoul archway over on the right that I couldn't fit in. As you can see I'm parked on the side of the road to take the picture. His house is near the entrance of my neighborhood. And there's a truck parked in their driveway. I could not afford to be picky about my shot. My family has been calling him "Mr. Holiday" for a few years now. Halloween is obviously his holiday of choice, but he has inflatables for Christmas, Easter, and my personal favorite, for Thanksgiving, which is a turkey wearing a pilgrim hat. Needless to say, that's not his real name. His real name starts with V, I think. I assume this because it's carved on a headstone in their front yard. I wish you could see this yard in person. He has it set up like a maze so that you actually walk by each blow-up and through the haunted house, which has flashing lights and spooky noises. His new addition this year (which was down for the picture) is a carriage hearse, driven by a headless horseman. The corpse in the back actually sits up and lies back down. Every inch of his yard is strung with orange lights. He has a fog machine. He is obsessed. Well, as sarcastic and snide as I always am leading up to Halloween, we always make the trek to trick-or-treat at his house. Not surprisingly they give the best and biggest treats in the neighborhood. One year he gave out the huge Pixie Sticks. Another year you could choose a full-size candy bar or a monster beanie baby. Here is Annaleigh, dressed as Anne of Green Gables, last year at their "choosing station.":
Oh and if Mr. Holiday would ever actually read this blog, we will have to move immediately. So tell me what the housing market is like in your neck of the woods....just in case. And dare I say, "Happy Halloween!"...? ****************Contest Reminder****************** Don't forget to stop by tomorrow to read the all the sordid details of my first-ever blog contest! I'm totally serious....the details are really very sordid. Don't miss it!!!!
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