Posted in home schooling
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There comes a time when every 2nd grader must learn about measurements, and a nice, creative, fun way to do that might be to make brownies or some other calorie-laden treat. Here is how I imagine some institutions might handle this... "Good morning, class. Today for math class we are going to be learning some new measurements. Because there are more than 30 of you we will not be actually baking the brownies, but if we just meditate on the brownies and visualize the brownies, it will be practically the same thing. Plus the school board has recently banned all sweets in our county, so even if we baked them, we could not eat them, or I would lose my job and end up on the 5 o'clock news. Alright, let's begin!" "This, class, is one cup."
"In the cup, you would measure one cup of white....er, I mean Caucasian sugar. Now, I'd like for everyone to write 'one cup' on their paper. What's that, Matilda? You don't know how to spell 'cup'? Oh well, that doesn't really matter as long as it is phonetically acceptable. Use a 'c' or a 'k'....your choice." "Next, class, I am going to show you a set of standard measuring spoons."
" You can see that they come in all different sizes, ranging from one tablespoon to 1/8 teaspoon. You can also see that they are blue. I chose blue because I couldn't think of any people group who has blue skin, except for the Smurfs who are fictional, and therefore no racial connotations could be construed. But please note that I have nothing against small blue people, just in case any ever present themselves. I also chose blue to show that it is perfectly acceptable for boys to cook. Tomorrow I will show you a pink football, so that you will know that it is perfectly acceptable for girls to play that sport." "This, class, is an egg."
"It will be cracked and mixed into the brownies as well. Eggs have been around for millions and millions of years. Right after our world exploded into existence out of thin air, an amoeba crawled out of a puddle and laid one. Then it hatched and out popped a monkey, who is really your great, great, great, great, great grandfather." "And speaking of crack, don't forget that our "Just Say No" program meets today after school. And also do not forget that any day now, we may have a drug bust where snarling ferocious German Shepherds will come and sniff your desks and bookbags for drugs. I just warn you because you're only seven, and it might be a little scary. Please prepare yourself by watching CSI:New York tonight at 9pm." "And speaking of eggs, that reminds me of something else. Again, I know you are just seven years old, but someday, perhaps in just a few years, you may want to....ahem...take part in the fertilization process. That is perfectly normal. When you begin to want to do that, whatever you do, do NOT discuss it with your parents. That is what the school nurse is for. She will tell you what you need to know and give you whatever it is you need, so that you may experiment with it however you chose." "Alright, class, that is all for our lesson on measurement. For homework tonight please write a one-page essay on why we should not eat brownies. For extra credit you may invent an alternate, less offensive name for brownies. Now it is time for recess. Please remember that you will be expelled for playing dodge ball, Red Rover, or any competitive game where someone might lose." And here's how we did this lesson today.... "Oh, look Harrison! For math today you're learning about measurement. Why don't we go make some brownies?"
Hmmmm...I wonder which lesson was most effective? *********************************Reminder**************************************** Many of you expressed interest in participating in my Flashback Friday. Please know that you can post about anything from the past....from Benjamin Franklin to your first day of first grade to friendship pins on your Reeboks....whatever! And pictures are optional, so don't worry about whether you have a scanner or not. Google image search might have something similiar to what you need too. Just have fun with it! |
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