Posted in humor
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I am a mess. My last entry I go and tell you I want to create a bigger, better blog, and then I go more than a week without posting anything here. I'm sorry. Time just gets away from me nowadays between feedings and school and diaper changes and baseball tryouts and laundry and sleepless nights and ballet rehearsals and well, I think you see how it is. In the meantime, I thought I'd post this funny little thing that I saw over on Ginny's blog. You type your name and the word 'needs' and do a google search. Then post the first ten sentences that come up. I thought this might be fun, but actually it was scary how well Google knows me and what I need.... 1. Kellie needs more votes! Oh Google! You're too late! I lost in that Funniest Blog category for the Homeschool Blog Awards months ago. Oh well... 2. Kellie needs a cheeseburger. That's cruel, Google. You must know I just started Weight Watchers, and that cheeseburgers have about 523 points. I wouldn't be able to eat anything but cucumbers for days if I had a cheeseburger. 3. Kellie needs to stop doing stuff to her face. Now Google, just what exactly do you mean? I wash my face. I put toner on my face. And I refuse to give up my mineral foundation. Leave me alone, Google. 4. Kellie needs a clue. Oh, Google, you have NO idea! 5. Kellie needs to channel her inner Angelina. Why just the other day I was thinking how badly I needed to go break up someone's marriage and then proceed to have and adopt four children with the guy in three different countries! Google, how did you know??? 6. Kellie needs to sing country. Yes, I do!!! I mean here I am in Nashville and all. I just need to slip a little twang into my voice and head on down to Music Row and get signed. Excellent, google! Just excellent! 7. Kellie needs a family that is patient. Google, I tell them this everyday. I tell them I'm trying. I tell them that I'm trying to get back on my feet and scrub the toilets and scramble them eggs and things like that. Google, do you know what it's like having your third child who won't nap at age 36? Do they? *sob, sob,sob* 8. Kellie needs her own TV show. I don't know, Google. Really? That might be a little much, especially if I'm going to sing country and adopt international children and all. I think I'll just focus on the bigger, better blog thing. 9. Kellie needs to go back to school. Alright, Google, back off! I can't go back to school. I have no time! I have no resources! What?! Are you giving me a scholarship....and a nanny, Google? Are you? Huh? Huh?! 10. Kellie needs to get a grip and move on. You are sooooo right, Google. Things got really out of hand there. Sorry. Moving on.... ****Thanks to Kellie Pickler, former American Idol contestant, whose fame and noteriety provided all of my funny Google finds!***
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