Yesterday my site meter nearly exploded.  When I checked my stats yesterday I was shocked to see that I had about 3x more hits than I usually had.  What in tarnation was going on?!?  Was the Passport2Purity thing I posted yesterday really that interesting?  Had word gotten out that I had a for-real picture of W. Bush on my blog?  No, as it turns out, it's just that time of year again for this....

....and I have been nominated in the category of "Funniest Homeschool Blog"....again.  Last year, you may remember was a painful process for me.  I came in second place.  I lost to the very worthy Fiddle Dee Dee by four votes.  Four votes.  FOUR votes!!!!  I suddenly had new empathy and understanding for my fellow Tennessean, Al Gore.

This year I will probably not come as close.  You see I am having a baby next Wednesday.  Next Wednesday.  NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!!!  I will not have time in the coming week to beg and plead for votes, to offer monetary bribes, to run negative ads, to contact ACORN, to accuse my opponents of being George W. Bush, or  to share my plan for spreading the wealth....you know all those things that get people elected.

So, it comes down to this post.  This one and only post, where I explain who I am and what I'm doing here, and why you might consider voting for me.

My name is Kellie Ann, although everyone in real life just calls me Kellie.  Here's what I look like....

OK...OK...that's a lie.  That's Catherine Zeta Jones.  Here I am...

I am a homeschool mom, but I pirate on the side.  Actually, these days I'm looking a bit more like this...

I'm ecstatically married to this guy, Big D...

This is why we call him Big D...

I just love that guy!

We're the proud parents of Molly Ringwald....

and Indiana Jones...

and the Crystal Skull, who we've lovingly called "Peanut" for the past eight months...

Like I said, Peanut will be arriving VERY shortly and then we can do the proper introductions. 

We are a homeschooling family Molly (aka Annaleigh) is 12 and in the 7th grade, and Indiana (aka Harrison) is 8 and in 3rd grade. 

If you are trying to decide whether I'm funny or not, I'd recommend perusing my humor category here on my blog.  Or not.  You could just blindly cast your vote for me, a virtual unknown in the blogoshpere.  Whatever you decide....

If you'd like to vote for me, you can click this link and then click on "Hilltop Academy" before you read any of the other nominations....because they are in all likelihood more funny and worthy than I am.

Thank you to those who have nominated me and already voted for me.  The gesture flatters me beyond words, and I am very grateful!  Good luck to everyone!

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Ice Castle!!!

I generated the number using www.random.org , and unfortunately I don't know how to put a picture of that screen here on my blog to legitimatize the winner, so you'll just have to take my word for it.  How it works is you put in a series of numbers, and the site will randomly pick one for you.  I had thirteen entries that I was keeping track of over the weekend in a notebook, so I just assigned each of them a number going straight down the page.  Random.org came up with #6, which was icecastle.

Congratulations!  Please e-mail me from my sidebar and let me know which prize you would like.  Also send me your mailing address, and I'll get your choice out to you later this week.

I totally enjoyed reading your baseball/softball memories.  It was a good weekend for it since it turned cold here, and I spent two of my weekend evenings shivering on metal bleachers, watching Harrison play, trying to convince myself that I still liked the sport.  His team won both games, and he got three base hits and two RBIs, so I guess I do.....as long as there's hot chocolate.  Lots and lots of hot chocolate.

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Congratulations, 4sweetums!  E-mail me from my sidebar and let me know if you want the book, the CD ROM, or the stack of paper.  Also, let me know your mailing address, and I will get the loot out to you ASAP.

Thanks to everyone for participating!  I will host another little contest soon...

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....jennybell!

So e-mail me soon and let me know which resource you would like for your prize.  The other two will be used again in an upcoming contest, so be watching for another chance to win.

Oh, and by the way, Big D and I were in North Carolina in this picture...

I thought the Blue Ridge Mountains in the background and the fact that I'm from SC would be a dead giveaway, but I had guesses come in from all over the country.  But since I let everyone have mulitple guesses, most eventually got it.  I had 7 total correct guesses in all.

Speaking of winning, look what I recently won in a contest from proverbsmomof3...

Isn't that beautiful?  She custom quilled the frame!  Wow!

Oh, and I also wanted to let you know that I won that family photo contest hosted by Jocelyn.  Yay....now I'll finally have a subscription to TOS magazine.

And, lastly, I just wanted to say,

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My good blogging friend Prodoceo told me about the contest going on over at the above link.  You have to post a recent family picture.  And the prize is a subcription to the TOS magazine, which I don't have since I lost that Funniest Blog contest a few months ago.  Sniff, sniff. 

Well, here is our family picture, taken by and recolored by Big D himself.  If I somehow pull off a win, it might make it worth trudging through waist-high grass, littered with old tools and debris for about 1/4 of a mile, all along praying fervently that we would not be shot at by a territorial hillbilly (since we were trespassing and all).

Keep your fingers crossed for me!  Who knows what another loss will do for my psyche.....

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1.  We both have brown hair.

2.  We are both Southerners, living in the same state, as a matter of fact.

3.  He invented the internet, and I have a blog on the internet.

4.  I had a great-uncle named Al.

5.  He discovered global warming, and I own a globe.

6.  He won an Academy Award, and I watched the Academy Awards.

7.  He dines with the rich and famous, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Barbara Streisand.  I have met the lead singer of Jars of Clay, and I know where Toby Mac lives.

8.  He served in the Army as a reporter during the Vietnam War.  My dad served as a Marine as a helicopter gunner in the Vietnam War.

9.  He is a Democrat.  I know some Democrats....I think.

10.  He won the Nobel Peace Prize.  I like peace.

11.  He lost the 2000 Presidential election by 537 votes to George W. Bush.  I lost the 2007 race for Funniest Blog on Homeschoool Blog Awards by 4 votes to It Coulda' Been Worse (whose blog really is very funny).

12.  He demanded a re-count.  I laugh about re-counts.

13.  So far, he's kept his promise and is not running again.  My "Santa Baby" video is forthcoming.

Seriously, I thank all of you who nominated me, voted for me, and encouraged me. This has been great fun!  I am a life-long Chicago fan, so I can say the phrase, "Maybe next year," with ease.

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Alright everyone, my calculator is smokin', but I have finally figured out who our winners are for my month-long "Where's the Wreath?" contest.  It was fun.  It was crazy.  It is OVER!

OK, our first place winner is lahbluebonnet, with a total of 34 points. Tenacious is the word that comes to mind in describing her contest strategy.  She saw the wreath first five times.  She has become a household name around here in that my family always wanted to know who won the individual competitions.  I would say, "Oh, it was lahbluebonnet," and they would say, "Again?"  And, ironically, she lives close to Jeep Collins headquarters and actually stumbled upon his shop during the course of the contest, and she blogged about the experience.  She is a great blogging friend, and I couldn't be happier for her (but I don't think I'd want to play her in a board game).  Congrats!!

Now, while the rest will not be receiving anything from Jeep Collins, my daughter Annaleigh is offering some of her snowmen earrings which have been great sellers from her jewelry business for 2nd, 3rd and honorable mentions. (Sorry, I don't have a picture right now.  Just trust me...they are very, very cute!!)

Second place goes to teachingmisssmartypants .  If my mom, Indiana Mimi, had anything to do with picking the winner, this is who she would pick because she loves her user name.  I think  if my mom had home schooled me, this would be the name she would have chosen....but not because of my intellect.  Teachingmisssmartypants saw the wreath first two times and then racked up a bunch of 2nd and 3rds to end with a total of 20 points.  Good job! 

There was a tie for 3rd place:  Debbles107 and peachykleeman, with 19 points each.  This is hysterical to me because these two have been friends since they were in elementary school.

4th place and an honorable mention prize goes to shesbecominglikehim.  She had a total of 17 points, but this contest was her idea in the first place AND she won the poetry contest AND she had dreams about my contest AND she tried really, really hard AND I just know she's going to be e-mailing me her squash bread recipe to me soon.

So there you have it folks!  Thanks to everyone who played.  This was a lot of fun!  If you are one of the winners, please e-mail me your address so I can get your prizes in the mail soon....except for you Debbles.  I have yours.

Speaking of winners, I was a winner recently...

Naturalpaths and byourlove1 awarded me with this:

This award is for those who talk about and show the spirit of Christmas in their blogs.   

What is the spirit of Christmas you ask? 

Quite simply it is those that have a generous and giving nature...those who care about others. ..those who have a kind word to say or a broad shoulder to lean on in the times that others need that...those who display the "Spirit of Christmas."

Thanks for thinking of me!  I actually have no idea who to pass this on to.  I have appreciated all the Christmas-ish posts that I've been browsing lately.

I also was awarded this by proverbsmomof3:

Thanks!  It means so much to be recognized in this way.  This one I will pass along to a few people who have stood out over the past few months, ones who I think I would like to live next door to so that we could eat bon-bons together and do each others' nails.

First, I pass it back to proverbsmomof3 (although I don't expect for you to blog about it again).  She has been a great encouragement to me on my blog.  Plus I almost have talked her into coming to visit and organizing my house.

I also award this to Crossview.  I really love this gal.  She too has the gift of encouragement and the ability to make me laugh, both in my comment section and on her own blog.

Prodoceo also gets this award.  A relatively new blogger, she has been a faithful reader of mine.  I enjoy her blog immensely.  We are also fellow Chicago sports fans, so we can be the shoulder to cry on for each other.

I'd also like to give this to becominglikehim.  We have a lot in common.  I'd love to tell you what, but then I'd have to kill you.  It's your choice.  She makes me laugh out loud and think really, really hard....a nice combination.

And lastly, I must give this to Debbles107 because not only is she my sister and good friend in real life, but in the blogging world, she is probably my number one commenter and encourager.  I'll let you do my nails in a few weeks, Deb.

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Well, could I be any more blunt?

This is it, girls (and guys)!  My final "Where's the Wreath?".  I just snapped my final photo of the wreath and have hidden it somewhere in this entry.  This one's going to be a bit different.  I've created a slide show of all of the previous wreath photos (since I was feeling a bit sappy and sentimental about the end of my contest), but I've included one never-before-seen photo of the wreath.  When you e-mail me just describe briefly the new picture.  Okay?  Okay...

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Sorry for the delay on this ya'll, but this has been a crazy weekend.  I did assemble the judging team on Thanksgiving Day, around the table in fact, and read and re-read my collection of wreath poems.  They deliberated a bit, and here is what they came up with...

3rd Place

It was a tie between lahbluebonnet and teachingmissmartypants.  The judges loved both of these poems and just couldn't decide between them, so I'm awarding them the same standard 1 point each for 3rd place.

teachingmisssmartypants

Dusty and forgotten,

Hanging on the door,

Crafted by eager hands,

 Ancient Yuletide Decor

Waiting hopefully for Christmas

 In hues of green and red,

 The wreath begs to be displayed,

Not stuffed behind a bed.

Alas!  Fate is ever cruel

And humanity unkind,

It was demoted to a trinket

For hopeful bloggers to find.

lahbluebonnet

There is a wreath I often seek,

Whenever Kellie Ann gives us a peek.

Curly ribbons, red and green,

129 mints, where is it on the screen?

Popping here and popping there,

Intensely searching, it could be anywhere!

Ever hoping for it to be in sight,

My children encourage me to seek with all my might!

Thank you for the fun, Kellie Ann,

Oops, I think the wreath away just ran!

2nd Place

I never imagined that I'd have a truly serious entry for this contest, but quietcajun's was pretty close, which is how she garnered 2nd place and 3 points to be added to her score.  Her use of symbolism and the touching third stanza had my judges in tears (well...keep in mind that they were full of tryptophan by this point and in sore need of a nap).

quietcajun

A circle is a symbol

Of eternity

It has no beginning

Or end to see

A circle of circles

Bound with love

Reminds of of

Our Father Above

Red for the blood

His Son shed for me

White for the cleansing

From Calvary's tree

1st Place

How pleased I was that becominglikehim won the first place honors and five more points to her score.  This contest was her brain child in the first place, so it seemed fitting.  While I didn't know whether to sing or read her entry, it had us all in stitches, so it didn't matter.  (Plus I just tried both!)

becominglikehim

Oh Christmas Wreath

Oh Christmas Wreath

How crunchy stale your candies

I saw you once

I saw you twice

I even think,

I saw you thrice

Oh Christmas wreath

Oh Christmas wreath

How crunchy stale your candies

I've counted mints

I've stayed up late

Through gritted teeth

I've cursed your fate

Oh Christmas Wreath

Oh Christmas Wreath

How crunchy stale your candies

The laundry waits

The kids unfed

While Kellie's blog site

Fills my head

Oh Christmas wreath

Oh Christmas wreath

How crunchy stale your candies

I'll be real glad

When this is done

I dream at night

Of points unwon

Oh Christmas wreath

Oh Christmas wreath

I'M WEARY OF COMPETING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations to all who entered poems!  It was very hard for my judges, but it still made for a great after-dinner activity.

Becominglikehim's poem does bring up a good point though:  it is time for this contest to end.  We are going into our final leg of the contest this week, as I am ending this on Friday, November 30 at midnight.  There are several reasons this nonsense MUST end, and I'll list them for you:

1. I said the contest would end in about a month.  It's been about a month, and I'm a blogger of her word.
2. I am running out of places for the wreath.  Big D has drawn the line at taking it out in public, so I'm stuck shuffling about my home, wreath in hand, looking for hiding spots.
3. We are busy, and this wreath has kept me on a tighter blogging schedule than I usually keep.  Annaleigh's play is coming up and the production schedule is grueling for a small town production.  Plus I have about 15 Christmas movies that I want to watch while I drink gingerbread latte after gingerbread latte.
4. I am concerned for your family life.  I know many of you have lost sleep over this contest.  By your own admission, some of you have not fed your kids or done your laundry.  It's time we all got back to our lives and put this nonsense behind us.
5. The prize is a pair of Christmas tree earrings, so I assume the winner will either want to wear them or give them as gift, and I assume they would want this in December and not January.
6. This contest is getting too controversial.  It has garnered me a public apology.  I recounted the mints five times when my sister won that portion because I was sure someone would cry foul.  I got a call from Angelina Jolie's lawyer yesterday, and it appears that she and Brad are interested in adopting the wreath.  Oprah wants to put all the poems into a collection and make it book club selection.  The other day in line at the grocery store I was appalled to see on a magazine cover that Britney Spears had fashioned a bikini top out of Starlite mints, inspired by my contest,  and worn it to her plastic surgeon's office.  Unfortunately, one her kids got a hold of it and almost choked on one of the mints.  Paris Hilton then had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him.  He's okay....thanks to Paris.  People, this has gone too far!   I was not seeking fame or notoriety.  I just wanted to have a little fun.

So the fun, must end.  I will be posting a few more "Where's the Wreath" entries, and then it will be shipped off to Arby for him to wear for the rest of December.  Good luck and happy hunting!

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Yes, you know it had to happen.  We are going to write poems about the mint wreath!  Can't write poetry?  Don't worry...neither can I, which is why I'm glad that I'm not competing in this contest because I would lose badly.  See, here's what I would write....

My stripes are red.

My centers are white.

I'm over 6 years old,

so it's best not to bite.

Surely.....SURELY you can do better than that.  You can write anything....free verse, haiku, limerick, epic.....whatever!!!  Just have fun, and e-mail it to me ( kellieann@adelgren.com ) by  10:00 pm central time Monday, November 19, 2007.  I will, without saying anyone's names, read the poems to Annaleigh, Harrison, Big D and Indiana Mimi to judge them, and then I will award a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place.

OK, so now it's time for a BONUS entry that I'd like to call....

The Wild Side of Indiana Mimi

Indiana Mimi is my mom, and she is W-I-L-D!!!!  Don't let her grandmotherly looks fool ya'.

This is the image she tries to maintain.  Quiet, peaceful, calm.  But I know her, and I know better.

See?  She totes a whip!  But with a name like 'Indiana Mimi', what did you expect?

She uses our computer everyday for about 30 minutes or so.  I got to wondering, what exactly does Indiana Mimi and her wild self do on our computer?  So, unbeknowst to her, I photographed her activity.

So far, so good.  She's just reading an extraordinarily entertaining blog.  I'm ok with this.

Another entertaining blog.

Hmmmm...what's this?  I think she's finding out what she needs to bring with her to renew her drivers license next month.  Sneaky, Mimi, sneaky.

Reading the obituaries....or just pretending to.  She's so tricky.

Uh-oh....what's this?  Indiana Mimi is watching You Tube?!?  Who is that anyway?  Oh...Paul Simon.  And look, someone stuck the cursor right between his eyes.  It had to be Mimi....that naughty little grandma!

Now she's really getting edgy and moving onto Simon & Garfunkel.  Wait...let me try to hear what they are singing.....something about a bridge...and...and troubled water.  Wow....that is deep.

MIMI!!!!.....Just WHAT are you watching now?  Wait a minute....that looks like...no, it couldn't be!  Yes, it is!  It's BO BICE!  Mimi is watching Bo Bice's new "Witness" video on You Tube.  Wait....Mimi...no, don't do that.  People I cannot even photograph what is happening now, but Mimi is getting up and DANCING to Bo Bice's music. She's doing "the worm" right now across the floor.  I MUST put a stop to this!  Catch ya' later....if Indiana Mimi doesn't choke me with her whip.

DID YOU SEE THE WREATH???

(The real one...not the one on the computer screen picture.)

E-mail me at kellieann@adelgren.com for your points, and if I don't get 3 responses within the next hour or so, I will not be able to update for a few days.

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Time's up on this!!!

There were 129 mints on the wreath.  Here are the standings on this part of the contest:

Debbles107........1st place

(and I promise that she's never counted the mints when visiting my house)

Amy.......2nd place

(her either)

timbuck2mom.......3rd place

(she's never been to my house)

Alright, boys and girls, for our next portion of the contest you are going to be guessing the amount of actual Starlite mints that make up my fair wreath.  Before you start counting, here are some things you should know....

• We have eaten some of the mints over the years....not recently, but a few years ago.  I want to know how many are on there right now.  Trust me, I'm not going to be eating any of the 6+ year old mints in order to throw you off.
• There are more mints than there seems to be from the picture, and that's all I'm saying about that.
• Try to be a little more specific than just saying 50.  Guess 53 or 59 or 51.4.  Because you have a pretty clear visual, there may be some pretty close guesses, and this will just make it more interesting.  For me, anyway.
• Put your guess in the comment section this time and leave a space of at least 5 between guesses.  For example, say Jack Sparrow visits this blog and leaves the guess of 72.  If that's the range you were aiming for, then you would have to either go up to 77 or down to 67, and just let Jack   Johnny Mr. Depp have 72.  Savvy?  So make sure to read comments before placing your guess.
• All guesses will need to be submitted by Friday, November 9 at 11:57pm, Central time.  (I'm trying to lead by example by choosing a more obscure time!)
• I will award a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place again, at the same point values as our regular wreath hunting.
• In the meantime, you can still watch for a wreath-hunting post.  I may....or may not post one!

Oh, and in case you forgot what the wreath looks like and need a reminder, here it is:

I think that does it.  Happy counting and prosperous guessing!  Now I have to go count the little buggers....

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OK, people, this is it!  It's time for....

This old, crusty Starlight mint wreath kept showing up in photos that I put on this blog.  The reason for that is that this wreath has been hanging on the same doorknob in our school room for at least 3 years.  I had forgotten to take it down for so long that it just became part of the scenery.  Well, when it kept showing up in my school photos, I got a little embarrassed and kept making comments like I was going to take it down or something.  Once becominglikehim suggested that I move the wreath around and let my readers look for it in odd places, kinda like the Where's Waldo? books.  I loved that kooky, zany idea, and so that's what we're doing. (My title is also a throw-back to the old Wendy's "Where's the Beef?" commercials!)

OK, here's how it's all going to work.  The contest is going to last for about a month.  There will be a point system, and I'll keep track of scores.  Here is how you can earn points:

1. Post about this contest on your blog.  How you do this is entirely up to you.  Feel free to copy and paste my graphic.  Write an entry.  Put me in your sidebar.  Whatever.  Here is the link to this specific post, so your friends will know how to play too: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/kellieann/418845/ After you've done that, leave me a comment here telling me so, so I can check it out.  (Make sure if you are not a blogger on this site, to leave me a link, so I can find you!) Do this, and you've just earned 5 points!  If you don't have a blog or website and want to play, e-mail me to find out how to earn your preliminary 5 points (I'm making it up in my head as I type this.  I should have it all figured out by the time you contact me. Scary, huh?)
2. Be the first, second or third person to find the wreath in a photo.  This wreath is going to be in some pretty weird places over the next month.  It might be obvious or it might be more obscure.  In some cases it may only be partially showing.  If you see the wreath in a photo, you will need to e-mail me at kellieann@adelgren.com with the subject line of "I SEE THE WREATH!" and tell me where you saw it.  Don't worry about remembering my e-mail.  I'll post it again when you need it.  The first person to see it that day will get 5 points, the second will get 3, and the third will get 1.  I will try to update posts after I've had three responses so you'll know to stop e-mailing me. Do NOT post the wreath location in the comment section!  This will let everyone know where it is.  If you feel you must gloat, just leave a comment like, "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!  I found it first!" or something like that....just don't say where!
3. There will be a few more ways to earn some points over the next month or so.  I can't tell you what they are right now (because I'm still making them up), but stay tuned because it will be a lot of silly, pre-Christmas fun!  It will be a mathematical poetical trivial mess!

Now for the good stuff!!!  Prizes!!!  I am so excited that my favorite jeweler, Jeep Collins Symbols of our Life, has agreed to provide the first place prize.  I have been a customer of Jeep's (Uh...Jeep...can I call you "Jeep"?) for about six years now, and his jewelry is top notch!  He is a Christian and incorporates faith symbols in a lot of his pieces.  Hop on over to his website and check out his super cool stuff.  Request a catalog.  Order a Christmas present. Drool all over your keyboard.

******UPDATE******

I'm pleased to announce that the first place prize will be a pair of Lil' Tannenbaum sterling silver earrings.

How cute!  They come in both posts and earwires and are valued at $35.  The contest will end in time for the winner to wear these during the season or wrap them up and give them as a gift to a special loved one....or me!

I may have a 2nd and 3rd place prize too, so do your best to accumulate as many points as you can!  It may only be one of my paper bag scrapbook albums or an autographed copy of Big D's rap single (I'm serious...he has one), but it will be something. 

Here are some other things you might want to know:

• The wreath may not be in every post I do.  Again, I will provide my e-mail, if you need it.....hint, hint.
• I try to post to my blog about every 2 or 3 days at the most.  Other than that there is no rhyme or reason to when I post.  Just check back often.  Trust me....I don't have all that many readers.  You can be competitive in this even if you don't read my blog everyday.
• Family and my personal, in-real-life friends can play (especially if you give me the Jeep Collins prize for Christmas!!). I am not the McDonald's corporation after all. The only ones who can't play are Big D, Annaleigh and Indiana Mimi.  We all use the same computers, so it wouldn't be fair.  Plus I may need them to judge some parts of the contest.

I think that's it!  If you think of a question, let me know.  I'm new at this and probably pretty bad at it, so I'm probably making some glaring errors...break it to me gently if you see one.  I'm fragile.

Happy wreath hunting!

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