As some of you know, I work part-time outside the home. Recently, though, I cut my hours from 30 down to 24.5 due to some family scheduling issues. Although it is a financial sacrifice, it's worth it to us to have the time together. Folks I work with, though, were less than pleased because it meant  would be leaving early on our busiest day - Friday. Ooh, the thunderclouds were thick this morning. I must confess, though, that they were thinner than expected due to the peanut butter cookies I took in to soften the blow. Yes, I resorted to bribery.

When I sat down at my desk, I was in the best mood! I actually got up on time - and remembered to bring the aforementioned bribe. When someone asked who'd brought the treats, I said I did. Then I made an entirely true statement: "I made these yesterday when I got home early. I know y'all would be busy, so I made them with you in mind and prayed for you as I did so." The response? "We'd rather have had you here." sigh

I feel a lot of ambivalence toward me because of my choice to remain at home as much as possible, and I don't understand why. DH says a certain amount of it is jealousy - I can see that. I think they're convinced that I come home and eat bon-bons, have pedicures and sit by my private pool while being fanned by Paco the Pool Boy while they're being inconvenienced. That I laugh to myself as I take my afternoon nap and they are stuck in the office. Now if all that were true - I probably would never admit it to them! But, of course, it isn't. Any homeschooling family knows that it is taking on an extra job. A fun one most of the time - but a job nonetheless. We have all had our moments/days/weeks/months of questioning our own motives and abilities. There are days when I just want hyper-kid to take a breath so there can be 5.3 seconds of quiet. That's normal, and I accept that, and I absolutely don't dare complain because I've been so very blessed.

I think what it all comes down to it, it is a matter of contentment. There are days when my desire for a homestead is almost palpable. There are days that I wonder what on earth I'm doing. But deep down, under it all, I've been blessed with contentment. I never knew how utterly freeing that is until recently. And that contentment has a way of just bubbling to the surface!

It is my prayer that, whatever road they take in life, my co-workers will find peace and contentment. That they will realize that I've made the choices I've made out of a desire to be where God wants me to be. And that they will come to that same point in their lives. Despite petty quarrels and differences, despite prickles and jabs I have come to love each and every one of them. I hope God's best for them - whether it's convenient for me or not.