Last summer, I had all these high hopes about homeschooling. For instance:  We will have all our work done by 1:00 pm, be out doing all sorts of extra curricular activities and my house would be spotless.

May I just say, none of these things have EVER happened.  Seasoned homeschoolers are laughing hysterically all over the US.  I homeschool ONLY ONE KID.  Why can't I achieve this?  For months now, I have beat myself up over not making these goals (truth be told, on more than one occasion I am sure I have laid a guilt trip on "The Red One" as well.)

In my old life (that is, before marriage, before moving here to So. Central PA and way before adoption and kids with ADHD, emotional issues and tons of baggage) I was a health care administrator. I supervised staff, did paperwork, gave lectures and prepared advertising and met with prospective clients and their families. I wore nice clothes (dresses even--shudder), high heels and maintained my Day Timer as if it was my life (come to think of it, it contained most of my life from pictures to computer discs to appointment schedules and meeting notes).  Before that, I was a team leader who designed and wrote curriculum for adults with developmental disabilities. I gave seminars and speeches. I trained staff.  I even wrote curriculum for my church when I was the Sunday School Admin.--I wrote the curriculum for about 250 kids from nursery to senior high.  I was organized, well put together and  my house was virtually spotless about 80% of the time.  I exercised, socialized and made it to places ON TIME.  People who know me since I have been married have never seen me in a dress much less high heels. They know me to be 'always running late' and to always have a messy house (this is the one I loathe the most)

I have written numerous schedules, how-to's, plans, goals, ideas and lists of "what to do today"  for my son.  He resists them all.  I have copied, printed, hung up, purchased incentives of all kinds, etc. all in an attempt to help him to maintain his classes.  He has resisted them ALL. I feel like a failure.

What have we learned?  Well, first of all, Chris HATES, LOATHES and generally holds in contempt any and all hand writing.  He is horrible at math (but not geometry).  He loves to read and use the computer.

 We have been doing a combination curriculum of PACE for etymology and math and SOS for the other classes.  Next year will, we will not do the PACEs.  We will do more computer things.  I will make him do some writing in his journal daily (i have let this go by the wayside as well).  We will schedule weekly extra curricular activities even if he hasn't accomplished all of his other work.  We will do only one class on the weekends (yes, we DO do work on the weekends because he doesn't accomplish everything on the weekdays!) AND, I will cut him some slack.

I have also learned that I really like this kid.  He is funny, smart, intelligent (frustrating, infuriating...oops...i was looking at the positives) and really fun to be around.  I have seen him grow, despite how hard it is to get him to do anything on my time table...or anyone else's for that matter.

Chris is a sensitive kid who has always had a hard time expressing himself.  He gets mad inside because no one ever asked his opinion or what he wanted to do before being adopted by Big D and I.  He had big ideas and feelings that no one took the time to get them out of him. 

Now, we do lots of talking and he is beginning (just beginning, mind you) to talk about how he FEELS about things.  The boy is a deep well.  It is amazing to me how little he understood about his adoption and how little he remembers...on the surface.  If I show him pictures of his past, sometimes it triggers memories, but it is actually places and activities that seem to trigger more memories. 

He also learns this way, too.  He is definitely a kinesthetic learner.  He also retains more when he reads it AND hears it.  I have been downloading his reading  books so that he can retain more information about them.  He can tell a story, but not write it.  He can answer questions about the things he has done and read, but you have to ask lots of questions to get past eh surface answers...the one or two word answers.  He CAN actually give information to put into an essay or report---but it has to be verbally with some guided questioning.  He does really well that way.  What teacher has time to do this in private school, much less public school?

This year has not gone as I had hoped it would.  It IS definitely going.  He has a consistent low 90's GPA and we are on schedule to complete in early June.  I am worried about our year end evaluation as I had to change the "rules" set down by the curriculum and Bridgeway Academy to fit Chris's needs.  I am concerned that I will be judged "not suitable" to homeschool my son.  I further worry that he will give one word answers and not remember what he has learned---who am I kidding??? he WILL do this because he is on the shy side, he gets anxious about being tested or proved.

I am praying that we will be ok and that we will get more time to refine and improve our school. I also pray that when Chris looks back on this time together he finds it worthwhile and wonderful....I know, despite my complaining that I already do.

He is Risen, Just as He said!