My Journey Toward A Trusting Heart

Okay, Julie...you win...here goes nothing...

Well, I'm giving in to duress by even setting this up. My dear, dear friend Julie has been poking and prodding me to start this thing -- but I just have my doubts about who will read it. Who has time??

I don't know, but I'm doing it. It'll be a place for my "musings" (as I've come to call them).

Julie sent me the link to Cindy Rushton's blog, and I must say it did put a fire under my fanny to at least consider this as a START. I'm a little conservative when it comes to believing in myself. Maybe even self-depreciating...but at the encouragement of my friends, here I am. At the risk of "thinking more highly of myself than I ought..."

I'll post an "article" I recently wrote. I call it an "article" because I don't know what else to call it. The theme was rattling around in my mind for a LONG time (years, really), and I finally found the gumption to put it "on paper". What its ultimate purpose is, I have no idea. At the onset, I sent it around to several friends who found it reflected much of themselves. So, I might be on to something after all...

Life IS a journey. That's a pretty common phrase. In my case, it is a lesson in patience. I don't like the traveling part of traveling. I like to BE where I am headed. Getting there is an inconvenience. But its unavoidable.

In the spiritual application, I've asked God, for years, to use me in some very specific areas. Areas that I fully believe would be an outlet for the gifts I believe He has given me -- exhortation, shepherding, teaching, hospitality...but I have simply wanted to avoid what it takes to get there. Thinking I can compare myself with others ("I could do at least that good," or "I could never do that!" --ever hear those things come out of your heart?); that somehow I can just skip over the "jouney" of becoming the vessel God can use (thank you, Donna Partow!)

In the physical application -- I want to be thin. NOW. I want to just wake up one morning 80 lbs lighter. Well, hmmm...THERE'S WORK INVOLVED HERE. And TIME. And you know what? For the past 3+ weeks, my hubby and I have, TOGETHER, been making positive changes in our habits --eating less, walking daily, drinking more water (for me, less Diet Coke!) -- all good things that will ultimately produce good results.

But you know what? I have seen NOTHING yet. Last week the scale didn't move a hair; my clothes are not falling off me; I don't have the energy I wish I had to romp with my boys (5+ and 2)...I feel a little like Baruka on the original "Willie Wonka and The Chocoloate Factory" -- "I WANT IT NOW!" -- then she gets tossed down to the incenerator! "Bad Egg." Its the impatience that applies here.

Most things worth having and KEEPING, take time. And its taken me plenty of time to grasp that. Not sure I have entirely, but I'm working on it. EVERY SINGLE DAY!

So, come along with me. Though our earthly paths may be headed in varying directions, our eternal destination is the same. What we need here is fellowship -- its what the Body of Christ is all about. And Julie, you have demonstrated that with abounding grace. THANK YOU, Dear Friend...

KIM!!!!

10:38 PM, Apr. 23, 2006 .. Posted by julie

My dear friend Kim!!! I am so, so proud of you!!! You are going to love this community of homeschooling Moms here! And I'm going to enjoy reading your "musings"!

Love ya girl!

julie

Untitled Comment

11:24 PM, Apr. 23, 2006 .. Posted by Sweetie

Welcome to blogging! I enjoyed your first two posts, and I look foward to reading more of your musings!! :)

Hi Kim,

11:42 PM, Apr. 23, 2006 .. Posted by tn3jcarter

We're so glad that you decided to take the plunge and jump into the blogosphere with us. I love your thoughts here. I so desire for God to "rest" in me. Isn't that a glorious thought? I think I'll be more conscious of slowing down this week.
Blessings,
Nancy
Senior Editor of HSB

Welcome, Welcome!

1:50 AM, Apr. 24, 2006 .. Posted by JacqueDixonSoulRestES

Welcome to HSB, Kim.
You will soon love this community! As far as who has time? - It will become a place of friendships, and you will think to yourself that that was a silly thing to say!

I am looking forward to reading your "musings" and I must say I can relate to the latter part of your post. Boy, it would be nice to wake up and be thinner! Yes, yes, yes!

When I finally looked in the mirror and realized that I was, ok, I'm just gonna say it... FAT! - I always had to remind myself that it took me 4 years to gain all that weight; it was going to take some time to get it off, and I just prayed it wouldn't be 4 more years!

But, that was almost 3 years ago. Since then, I lost weight, then had a Baby (and, course, I gained some weight!), then we completely! changed the way we eat and I started doing more physical work around the house.

I have been watching my weight on a scale since November, and I have lost 32 lbs. I still have at least 40lbs. to go, but - 32 pounds! YAY!
So, it does happen. And, I will say, that I noticed it happening when I repented and prayed and asked the LORD to show me what to change and to bless me and help me with it.

And, even though it was my hand to my mouth that caused this... He has helped me. He is too good to me.

So, many blessings to you, and praying for a huge reward in your efforts!
Jacque