My Journey Toward A Trusting Heart

A few words about very little...

Well, I was SURE I'd added a new entry here recently...but now that I think about it, I believe Connor got on here when I was interrupted and somehow shut down the whole computer and w/ it went my latest words of wisdom. No great loss, I am sure...but a waste of time all the same!

SO, we are in FL this week. Mark and the boys and me. Mr. Thomas is here on biz and the guys and I came along to keep him company. So far so good.

This morning we spent about an hour in the pool. Came in for lunch and Connor's nap...sometime during before naptime, Connor lavishly sprayed Daddy's cologne (not cheap!) all over the bedroom. What I once thought delicious is now almost nauseating! I'm thinking that now I'm into the Second Stage of the Dennis the Menace Syndrome...Colton had his turn and now Connor is up to it. OH MY.

I've  not written much lately. I've been uninspired. I'm trying to find some inspiration, though. But as usual, I'm doubting myself and not willing that anyone should have to endure the pain of reading anything. And honestly, there just isn't much to say right now. No, nothing's 'wrong', but I'm just in a dry spot and will have to find a way to get out of it.

I spent a glorious hour on the beach this morning...ALONE. Just me a my Bible, and the "Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul" book. I sort of feel like a fraud, reading a book for "writers" since I don't think I really qualify, but all the same, I'm finding that many of the contributors felt the same. Many, for years. So I guess I'm in good company. I think I truly do fit the "artist" mold, tho...we creative sorts tend to be moody, and almost bi-polar. I don't think I qualify for medication, but boy its some hard days.

I'm afraid to jump out there and submit anything to any publications. I don't think its a fear of rejection itself, but rather just this nagging fear that its just not worth it. There are too many details...and I am not a detail person. Now if someone were to look at some of my work, and say to me, "this would work well here" and then do it FOR ME, well, that'd be easier. But I don't think that's realistic. And I do know that "real" writers would tell me I'm a coward, and that I have to beleive in MYSELF first.

I know.

But knowing and moving ahead are two different things.

So, for all this musing, I am till stuck in the No Man's Land for the Uninspired.

But keep watching. You never know when a bolt of lightening will strike and I'll roll out something marvelous. Maybe later today...