My Journey Toward A Trusting Heart

Out like a lion?

I cannot remember how March started...so I don't know if we're looking at a March exit like a lion or a lamb? Can anyone jog my memory?

 We are on a warpath with school...well, let me re-phrase this....

 As you know, if you read my last entry, I have struggled in the past weeks with wondering what in the world I am doing...not questioning homeschooling, REALLY. But rather questioning my own ability to pull this off. Trying to find my grounding for what 'style' really will work for me and for Colton (and as we go along, Connor).

 I told a friend recently that I've been intrigued with the "unschooling" method of 'school' -- tho I am not sure I can really turn loose of all control where my guys are concerned. Child-led education has its merit, to be sure, but to let my boys just have at it for a day or week or month...uh, no.

 Those unschoolers I've read about DO seem to have some control over their households...do not misunderstand. I'm not suggesting that all hell breaks loose and that there is NO control, no boundaries, and NO discipline in these homes. Quite the contrary. (tho I'm sure there ARE those out there in which the inmates are running the asylum!)...but I do see a pattern of RELAXATION about these people. Something I've not possessed with this homeschooling gig. I envy that, and want to find that and OWN it for myself and my methods of imparting wisdom and knowledge to my boys.

 Because I loved school as a child -- loved the classroom (sights, sounds, smells), loved the interaction w/ people, loved the routines (as time-wasting as they were!), its been really hard for me not to make our school time a miniature version of that. I've known all along that Colton is NOT a book'ish sort of kid. But bookwork we have done. By the truckload.  I believe that EVENTUALLY I will wean MYSELF away from that -- but for now, we're still in the books for some things....BUT, I am learning new ways of teaching old tricks. Away from a table and workbooks.   It might take a while, but I'm getting there.

 Learning to really allow Colton to lead ME, THAT has been a challenge. I feel that we've not 'done school' if we do not have book time. Not so. I am looking for those 'teachable moments' -- no less than I did when all the kids were really little...but with a twist. It is challenging, but fun, too.

 I have serious doubts that if Colton were in public school, I'd have heard this the other day: Colton said, "Connor, I really love you. And let me tell you something: I am never, never, never, never, ever going to leave this house and go to college. I'm going to stay here with you forever ." How precious is that?? I hav a sneaking suspicion that Colton would become 'too cool' for his little brother. And we can't have that, now can we? Again, I reiterate what I said in my last entry -- they are great buddies, and I want to preserve that and encourage that for the rest of their beautiful lives.

 So, Mommy is learning and growing and becoming better. At many things, I think.

 and I know this will make some of you laugh right outloud -- tho those of you who know me well will get it -- "Its amazing what can happen with a little planning!" LAUGH OUT LOUD!!

 I am NOT a planner. I do not know how to plan in the morning for what will be for dinner in the evening. I do not know how to plan what I'll be wearing for church on Sunday (tho now-a-days this is less an issue that it was just a few years ago, considering how casual things have become)...don't get me wrong -- my life is not a total chaotic mess. I do keep my house 'mostly' clean (refuse to allow my kitchen to be messy!), like to have the laundry caught up, hate dust bunnies and visible dust on the furniture...so all is not lost. BUT, I have been very VERY poor at planning our school time. Or at least having any goals.

 I've often failed so many of my own goals that i've been almost afraid to set any for school. And that, I am coming to realize, has contributed SIGNIFICANTLY to my frustrations. Honestly, I have started most days with, "what shall we do today?" No plan, no goal, no nothing.

 I'm catching on that this is not really a viable option if I want to feel successful, or at least that we've accomplished anything. I cannot be extremely rigid about this -- it is not my personality -- but I must say that I'm getting better at at least STARTING toward being more organized in getting all things together.

 For example, I took some time to actually chart out where I wanted Colton to be with our work in "Explode the Code"...we've been PRETTY focused on our efforts with that, but only day-by-day. Well, I'll have you know that I've already scheduled out INTO MAY where our lessons will be. My GOAL (how do you like that???) is to complete two lessons per week, one lesson over two days, with Friday 'off' that and doing some other language/phonics-related activity. We do read every day, but this will be a different thing altogether. Right now, I have an idea, but I can only do one thing at a time -- ! lol   Long run, I plan to be through Book 6 by the end of the summer. Yes, this means doing some work through the summer, but its not hard and we can do it.   I am encouraging him to READ, believing that when he can read, he can learn just about anything!

 SO, right now, he's independently working on the 2nd half of lesson 8 in Code Book 2; he knows the format and routine of the book so I set him to work (while I am doing this) (oh, and I might add that he's actually sitting BEHIND a chair in our schoolroom/office/craft room, eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of the box, and drinking chocolate milk!, and doing his workbook pages. Only 5 of them today. He's made a little 'fort' back there -- pillows, etc...) He's working, with a little prompting from me to stay focused or he'll have to come out...dread!

 So, as I relax, its all much better. I do have some concerns about his math stuff...we are still working on single digit addition...forget adding 2-digits to one digits... that is frustrating for me, as I believe he should be catching on a little faster. But I'm looking for alternative ways to teach this....its just taking a little time. Lots of prayer, and lots of questions to my homeschooling-veteran friends (THANK YOU!)...but in time, AND THERE "IS" TIME! -- he'll get it. He's smart.

 So, I continue to improve. I hope you can 'hear' that in the tone of this entry. I am encouraged -- tho there are 'days' when I'd like to just give up (I hear everyone has those!)...but all in all, the Faithful Lord has continued to send me encouragment in various forms -- articles, notes from friends, etc...and we're going to make it.

 I love seeing my boys memorize the Word, a new verse every week...and I love being able to incorporate God's truth into everything we do. He is a God of order and there's a system to every subject -- straight out of the Lord's own hand!

 So, having said all that, I'll close for now. If you are reading this, know you are being prayed for. I pray that everyone who reads this will see themselves in what I've shared, and know that there IS hope for all of us. Our kids will not fall apart...God is faithful and will perfect what HE has begun. We just have to cooperate! I'm working on it!!

 Ps. 121  "I look up toward the mountains. Where can I find help? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps. The Lord is the your Guardian. The Lord is the shade over your right hand. The sun will not beat down on your during the day nor will the moon at night. The Lord guards you from every evil. He guards your life. The Lord guards you as you come and go, now and forever."

 I'm counting on that!

oh thank goodness

2:40 PM, Mar. 28, 2008 .. Posted by eclecticchaos

my dd isn't the only one. It is such a struggle to not feel like I'm failing her in math. How hard can adding be??? I wish I could climb into her brain and organize it all and then leave :P The math workbooks we're using are part of the Horizon curriculum - I started 7yo dd on the K2 book, and then hopefully we'll get to the 1st grade books this summer. I would feel so much better if I can get her 'caught up' and on 2nd grade math by the time 2nd grade starts. Here's a link to the Kdg books - they have other grades on there, too. I didn't get the teacher's books - I figure for K and 1 it can't be too difficult LOL
http://www.rainbowresource.com/prodlist.php?sid=1206725134-1939914&subject=2&category=2174
It takes dd about 30 min to do 2-3 lessons. It's a very repetitive book, which is nice, and I think that's what she needs. Just the same thing over and over and over every day....which gets boring for everyone. But the book mixes it up so it's not just page after page of adding, and it seems to be working, as long as we do it every day. If we skip a day or two, she forgets everything she's learned. I want to beat my head up against a wall sometimes, LOL. The 1st grade book does look a little more 'fun', and they all have lots of colorful pictures in them - which appeals to my dd. The one other thing I'm going to start doing once they arrive, which should be any day now - is giving the kids Cod Liver Oil. I've wanted to do it for awhile b/c it's so so healthy for you, but it's also supposed to be *great* brain food - really helps with concentration. And we can use every drop of concentration around here. They come in flavored chewables, so I won't have to force them to take them, hopefully.