Sep. 27, 2006 - I'll call this one..........
Today was one of those fun days of homeschooling. We've been working very diligently the last month (thus no posts here!). Today I was trying to explain the concept of lines (go on infinitely) and line segments (part of a line) to my 9 year old. She just couldn't believe me that the line went on forever because she could see it was just here on the paper. I explained over & over in every way I could think of when she finally thought she got it. Then I explained that in geometry we name lines using 2 points on the line. She was OK with that. So I drew a line with several points & asked her to name it. She looked at it for a minute & then said, "Fluffy!" 
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Aug. 3, 2006 - Practicing the Empty Nest
God is so gracious. All of my motherhood I've loved having all my kids with me all the time. I always liked having everyone around during reading time, and I love having my big 8'x4' table full during 'table work' time while each was busy with math or writing or whatever. Even though it was sometimes a handful when they were all small, I enjoyed loading everyone up for a trip to the library or even the grocery store, though we did get some strange looks sometimes! I've really thought of myself as a mother chicken, always keeping all my little chicks close at hand.
But my chicks are growing up, and I've never noticed more than this summer. Today, for a few hours, I will be here at home with only my youngest. Just me and one 8 1/2 year old. I never really thought ahead about what life would be like with just the baby (not much of a baby anymore) here at home. My oldest is gone to work all day, #2 just left for Texas with grandparents for a week, #3 is going to go babysit (she's really old enough to do that??) and #4 is invited to play at a friend's house, and he's old enough to walk there & back by himself! How did they all get so big all of sudden?
As I think of this I also think of the baby birds that were on my porch this summer. The mother bird fussed over them for several weeks, then one day - just like that - they were all gone! We never saw them coming & going -- they just got up one morning & said "I can fly!" and were gone.
I'm so glad God is gracious to me. I know mine are growing, and have time to prepare for their 'leaving the nest', and even get to have practice days like today! Days where I have to practice letting them go with grace, placing them in God's hands.
And I will be glad to see them all return home. I'm glad today is just a practice day! Our goal as parents has always been to raise our children to leave home -- following God's plans for each of their individual lives. That's what we strive to prepare them for. And days like today help us to see where we still need to do some work and training, another blessing of God's grace.
He is sovereign and loves them all more than I do. He is wise beyond my imagining. He is good and trustworthy, and I can let them go in His hands, for a few hours, a few days or more because He is always faithful.
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Jun. 14, 2006 - Pruning time
The last month or so has been very difficult. Lots of things that are just hard to figure out, things that have been very hurtful, and things that are causing a lot of re-evaluating all I've been doing the last few years. I've had problems in relationships and have been at the point where I wasn't sure I was really able to do anything right, and struggled with depression and anger. I keep trying to keep my focus on God, trying to look for His hand in everything. I've had some thoughts, not sure yet how good they are! One thing came from what I studied for my Sunday school lesson this past week. In studying about Jacob & Laban I saw that even though Jacob did his work correctly - and well - Laban still was at odds with him and caused a lot of stress in his life. God used this friction to bring about his will in Jacob's life - it's what made him ready to leave Haran and go back to the land he'd been promised. I'm not saying I've been doing everything right, in fact I know I haven't been now. But I think sometimes I get in the habit of thinking that if everything isn't going well then God isn't pleased with me. As long as I'm able to keep going, even ignoring things that maybe I know aren't quite right, but there isn't any tension from it I'm not so ready to change. But tension and stress, getting to the place I just can't keep going, is a way God uses to get me to the place He wants me. He loves me all the time, and He can use difficulties and stress to show me things I need to work on. Things I wouldn't have known about before if everything kept going smoothly.
Also, I've been thinking about it I've been reminded of John 15, one of my favorite passages. Usually when I think on it I concentrate on the abiding, which happens when we obey by loving others, and what a wonderful truth to know that the God of everything is willing to abide in me! But lately I've been thinking about the 'pruning' part. The only branches that get pruned are the ones bearing fruit - and the pruning is absolutely necessary for the branch if it is to continue being fruitful. As I make the connection between a branch and myself I realize that it's possible all the difficult things lately are part of a pruning process. It has sure made me realize a lot of things in my life that I didn't realize were there that need to be let go. This is painful because losing something is always painful, but also because it's not pleasant to have to face the reality of the ugly things that are there that need to be cut off.
But I love my Lord no matter what! I know that He is faithful and He does have a plan, not just for me, but for every member of my family. I want to be cleansed so I am prepared to serve and able to bear fruit, even if it hurts now. I choose to trust that His plan is best, and most of all I choose to believe that His grace and forgiveness are available to me, even when the dead part of my branch is revealed and needs to be removed. I am so thankful He shows new mercy everyday, I need it! I'm glad He doesn't give up on me, that He will complete the good work He has started - all by His grace & for His glory alone!
Some other thoughts to go along with this will have to wait -- maybe a 'part 2'.
We leave for California today! 
I'll write about that in a different post too.
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Jun. 8, 2006 - I have a what?
Things have changed since I was a teenager!
Like, xanga's. My kids have them. I didn't know what they were. So, a few weeks ago, being the very careful, over protective mother that I am (I try to be a real 'mean mom' if you know what that is!), I went to check it out. It's just another name for a blog, from a different site. I was a bit concerned, because there's not a guideline for who can do what on that site. But I have basically good kids (thank you, Lord!) and they have some really neat friends. They're in a homeschool speech & debate league (NCFCA) and have friends from all over the country - but they don't get to see each other very often. So the way a lot of these kids have chosen to keep in touch with each other is their xanga sites. (My parents couldn't get the phone out of my ear.......) I looked over a lot of the ones that my girls go to, and the ones from the people who are posting on my kids sites. They really are neat kids. I thought it would be fun to post on my daughter's site After all, I want them to know Mom is watching, and I thought it would be one more little way to connect with them -- a little bit more on their turf for a change. What I didn't know was that when I registered to post (you can't post annonymously there) I actually got a xanga of my own. Until my 16 yo came up to me and said,
"WOW, Mom -- you are sooo cool to have your own xanga!! All my friends will read it if you post!"
Well, who doesn't want to be a cool mom?! So I post. Not very often. But some of their friends actually write back to me. And I read their posts, and their friends' posts. And what I've learned is, they are neat kids & this is important to them. Sometimes they write about silly teenage stuff, and sometimes they write what's really on their hearts. And so, for that reason I'm glad that I can share a part of it with them. That's another reason we homeschool. A little bit different than what I imagined 12 years ago, but I think it's good.
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May. 12, 2006 - Caterpillars
We are raising Painted Lady butterflies and yesterday my youngest 3 and I got to watch the most amazing thing. The caterpillars had climbed to the top of the cup and one had already turned into a chrysallis. As we watched, the second one started splitting his skin & turned into a chrysallis right before our eyes! It took about 5 minutes. It was absolutely amazing! I've done butterflies before with my older children, but we never actually saw them change, usually we'd just go to check on them & they were all sung in their little wraps. But when my son noticed this one beginning to change, we stopped everything else & all crowded around the table watching this little creature wiggle & shake and become something totally different -- it was incredible! I hope we'll be around when they come out! It also brings to mind so many life lessons -- I'm sure God created the whole caterpillar to butterfly process just to teach us so many things, if we'll just stop to think about them. This was one of those days I'm so glad we homeschool!
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May. 1, 2006 - Happy May Day
As I looked at the calendar today I just got a bit nostalgic. I remember about 10 years ago that today used to be considered a 'holiday' at our house. See, when my oldest 2 were young (5 & 6) we looked for any day to be a holiday. I remember one year explaining the traditions of May Day -- the flowers, surprises and the maypole. They took that info and turned it into their own holiday, and for several years in a row they would secretly, with many giggles, hide in their room making little paper cones. Then they would sneak outside to gather the blossoms to fill them. I could count on the doorbell ringing, and of course no one would be there, but the flower-filled cone would be hanging on the knob. I would hear the giggles and out they'd pop yelling "Happy May Day!" They would also do the same for several of our neighbors, I remember one elderly couple we lived next to for a couple of years that really enjoyed it.
Now, we live in the mountains and don't even have any blooms yet on May 1 so the 'tradition' has disappeared. My younger 3 don't even remember a May Day holiday. That started to make me a little sad. Those early years were, for me, the really 'fun' years of homeschooling. Now that those 2 little girls are 15 & 16 we're into a completely different stage which takes a lot of time & work. Sometimes I feel like my younger 3 have missed out on some of those things, and I feel like I've missed out on sharing it with them, as often they just tag along with what the older ones are doing.
But I truly believe that God is sovereign over all things, and that life is in seasons. God placed each child in our family in the order He wanted them. He knew that the younger ones would have different experiences and memories than the older ones. I have to trust Him that it's because they will need different experiences and memories than the older ones did. And, they do have some fun memories and experiences, there's something to be said to being a younger 'sib' getting to tag along on your older sisters expeditions!
So, Happy May Day! Maybe I'll celebrate today in a different way - and we may have to make flowers since there aren't any to pick yet! But I will celebrate that it's another day from God that we have together to learn and grow as a family.
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Mar. 28, 2006 - What to Say?
What is worth saying? There are endless words spoken and written (and typed) every day. I use thousands of words with my children every day. But how many of those words go out into space, never really accomplishing anything? I've been challenged this week to focus on gratitude. It's challenging to develop the habit of seeing God's work in every circumstance and thanking Him for it! And I've challenged myself and my children this week to work on recognizing God's blessings and thanking him -- outloud to one another. This is what the Bible exhorts us to do.
Psalm 145 is full of references to speak outloud about God's greatness:
v4: "one generations shall praise Thy works to another, and shall declare Thy mighty acts"
v6: "men shall speak of the power of Thine awesome acts, I will tell of Thy greatness"
v7: "They shall eagerly utter the memory of Thine abundant goodness, and shall shout joyfully of Thy righteousness"
v10: "Thy godly ones shall bless Thee, they shall speak of the glory of Thy kingdom and talk of Thy power"
v21: "My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord"
So, my challenge for myself this week is to focus on using my thousands of daily words to declare, speak, talk, and even shout joyfully to my family about the unsearchable greatness & abundant goodness of my God, to focus on gratitude for all He is and all He does. That's something worth talking about!
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Mar. 21, 2006 - Texas
We are on vacation in Texas this week, mostly visiting my husband's family. I have a confession -- I don't really like Texas - please don't be offended if that is your own home state, it's nothing personal, I guess it's just that being a Colorado native, for me, nothing compares with the majesty of the Rockies! So, unfortunately I usually don't have a very good attitude about our annual trek to the 'flatlands'. But this morning, I spent a few minutes reading a book talking about recognizing God's common grace in our daily lives. God always gets right to the point, doesn't He? Here I am in east Texas, surrounded by beautiful green trees and blooming flowers (it's been spring here for quite awhile, unlike home in Colorado!), but have I remembered to thank Him? But wouldn't that be how to enjoy Him -- to see the variety He's placed in His creation and see Him in it, and to drink it all in with a thankful heart? So, if I truly desire to impart an awareness of God and thankfulness to Him to my children it has to start with me. I can be thankful for our safe trip here, the time with family, the beauty of a different part of the country (and there really is a lot of beauty here!), the time away from regular daily responsibilities - that is so refreshing, and see each of these things as a gift of His grace to me today. I want to cultivate that kind of perspective, looking for God in everything because I know that He is the God who is there - the I AM in every situation! It seems to make sense that if I cultivate in my heart an awareness and thankfulness of His grace in regular, daily circumstances, then when something difficult or unusual arises it will be much easier to trust that His grace will be there also. That's what I really want for myself and my children, to recognize God's grace and working in our lives daily - and be thankful for it, instead of becoming so accustomed to it that it's taken for granted.
So, thank you Father, for traveling mercies, family, and the beauty of east Texas, for it in I can see the beauty of You!
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Mar. 17, 2006 - How to be a good servant
I've been studying Genesis 24 this week to get ready to teach a SS lesson this Sunday. The main story is of how God provided a wife for Isaac, remember how she watered all the camels for the servant? It's a neat love story, and I've always enjoyed it. But this week, God made something else stand out to me that I'd never really paid much attention to before - the servant.
The servant Abraham sends on the journey is his oldest, most trusted servant. That tells me he has had years & years of faithful service to his master, he understands what it takes to be a good servant. So the first thought God gave me was, how often do I really stop and think about being a 'good servant' as I go about my day. After all, that's what I'm called to be, right? But usually my prayers go more along the lines of "please do this for me, God", instead of "what can I do for you?".
Then the servant promises to do all Abraham asks of him and then prepares to do it -- quickly! Abraham has just asked him to go on a long journey of several hundred miles to find someone he doesn't know & bring her back. He doesn't stop & list all the reasons why this might not be so easy, or how maybe he has a better idea -- he just gets ready & goes! OK - attitude check for me: how many times do I argue with God about the reasonableness of doing something for Him? Ouch, more often than I really want to think about.
As the servant prepares to go, he gathers a variety of all of Abraham's possessions to take with him. Why? He wants to give a good impression of his master! He wants the ones he will meet to think highly of the one who has sent him. What about this servant (me)? Do I go out into my day desiring and planning to give those I meet a good impression of my Master? Am I filled with His fruit so that others can see the abundance of the one who sent me? I want to be, but I have to admit some days it just isn't that way, and others, especially my family-the ones I'm called to serve the most, probably think my master has called me only to drudgery. Oh,Lord, please forgive me!
Now, what about this servant's persistence? After his weeks-long journey, and coming to the right place, and finding the right girl, it's time for a rest, right? Well, no! When he gets to Rebekah's home they unpack his camels, wash his feet & offer him food & rest. Well, it's about time! No - that's not how this servant responds. He is on a mission for his master & he won't rest until it's complete. He refuses food until he explains to them why he's there & gets their answer that Rebekah can come back to be Isaac's wife. Then, instead of staying there to rest up for the return journey he gets up and leaves the next morning (for another weeks-long trip) to return to his master, mission completed, new bride with him! He's heart is set on obeying his master, completely and quickly. He's not concerned with his comfort at all! No wonder Abraham trusted him with everything! As I read about this unnamed servant I am so convicted. How often do I place my comfort ahead of completing a task God's given me? "I'm just too tired right now" is one of my frequent excuses. But oh how I long to have this kind of servant's heart, to be so completely devoted to my Master, who has provided everything and who always has what is best for me and my family in mind, and to be so focused on completing the course He's set before me, to exalt Him in how and what I do.
So, if you've read all the way through this you'll know my wishes for this spot. It will be a place to chronicle my journey and share what God is teaching me and my family, as I try to walk by faith the path He's chosen for me, and cling to Him, trusting Him to produce His fruit for His glory.
