Tuesday, September 2, 2008 - First day of school
12:30 on the first day of school. Sean took him in at 7:30 to get him all signed up. I would have cried my way through it all, so it was so nice that Sean could do that for me.
I had NO trouble letting my kids go to kindergarten or, for Violet, first grade. I missed them some, but I wasn't beside myself, sad, crying.....
Not so this time!! I have been crying all day. Violet and I sat down to do school.....oh, there's Jo's pencils. He won't be needing them here today. Here's his bookmark in the spelling book. Here's his assignment book. We sat to do History, he isn't here with us. There's his toys in the kitchen, toy gun on the school shelf. Honestly, you would think somebody died around here. There is a huge hole in my heart.
I know it will all be fine. It will all work out. He will be better off in school than home fighting with me. Perhaps some of it is the lingering feelings of failure. Some of it is just plain grief. Things have not turned out how I had hoped and expected on SO MANY levels. Much more than school, I cry for my child's heart. It all has just come to a head this week. I am grieving and crying. Plus, it has been rather sudden. Friday we wrap up week four of our homeschool this year, and Tuesday he's in public school.
So, I have the cookie dough ready. I'll go get him in just 2-1/2 hours and have homemade cookies waiting for my boy.
Violet is done with school already today. She says she'd still rather homeschool. :)
