Oct. 14, 2008 - School Changes
I changed Jonathan's program a bit this week. He has made more of an effort on his own to use good handwriting, so I am going to encourage this. I am cutting back on some of the langugage that we do, to allow time to work on using his handwriting in words rather than just practicing the letters. He was mad at me at first today, when I did this with him. But, when the day was done, (and he hadn't fought me as much as usual), he saw that school time ended MUCH earlier. Maybe this will encourage him to do the right things? With a RAD child, you never know. Success is a scary thing.
We had a meeting at the school today. He only attends in the mornings and is there on a "let's see if this works" basis. After almost getting kicked out of school and a few adjustments, he is doing better. The teacher and principal would like him to be there more. My husband and I are cautious about this because of his need to bond to me and his fears. He has made incredible progress in talking about how he feels since his sister has been out of the home. We don't want to inhibit his emotional healing.
Yet, for me, it would help me to not be so exhausted so have him in school more. I am very tired by the end of a day with working with him. He is a very angry little boy and I am working with and around this anger all afternoon. Trying to help him talk it out, make good choices, think about his choices, direct him into better thinking, etc. I have to make decisions on how safe he seems to be feeling so that I know how to handle the next few minutes, hour or the rest of the afternoon. Sometimes, it means we need to spend some time snuggling, sometimes it means he is too unsafe to go outside to play, sometimes I have to follow him to the bathroom and stand outside the door. Other times, I can let him be outside for 15 minutes, can send him to the bathroom, ask him to fold socks or he can handle snuggles and tickles. But, one of those could send him into a full-blown rage. Unpredictability, is the name of the game in living with a RAD. But, as a mom of a RAD, God is teaching me compassion, patience, love deeper than I ever knew, gentleness, service and who knows WHAT else.
