Dec. 5, 2007 - Trying To Decide What To Do
I have pretty much decided to put Jonathan back into school fulltime. He is just too intense and hard to handle. We are trying to get his meds adjusted and it is not easy to do. I will still have to pull him out early two afternoons a week for various appointments. He really pushes taking control of the house and it wears me out.
Becca does the same thing and wears me out but in a different way. I took last year off from home schooling her to get a break and I am starting to think that I still have not had a long enough break. I am considering putting her into the Christian school so that they will be in different schools and won't even see each other on the playground, in the lunchroom or in the halls. I need to go up and visit the classroom and see what the teacher is like. I know it is a good school, my older kids went there, but the teacher may not be a good fit for Becca.
I feel bad about not home schooling my kids because I see them losing ground whenever they are in school. They don't get what they need because they really need the one on one attention. They have some very real learning problems because their birthmom drank alcohol throughout their pregnancies, they are ADHD/ADD and have an attachment disorder. We thought they were bonded because we were and didn't realize they didn't bond in infancy. Becca is depressed, Jonathan is possibly bipolar and who knows what else is in the mix. I just know I am overwhelmed at this point. I think I need time to recover and to let them heal emotionally but fail some acedemically and then maybe we can catch up acedemically later. Just a hard decision.
Nov. 28, 2007 - Making a Bit of Progress
We have actually gotten a few things done and are discussing where we will go from here. Becca is a bit unrealistic about what subjects she should do - lol. Social Studies, Science, no math. This is what she has told me so far. I have told her that I will give her a list of subjects. Still haven't decided what I will tell her to do with the list but it will be something like prioritizing according to my preset standards or what time of day she prefers to do them, etc. NOT that we won't do math. Funny, delusional girl. But then, she is alcohol exposed, RAD, ADD and depressed. Has never been self motivated. She will start meds for depression tomorrow so maybe this will help her.
Nov. 20, 2007 - Homeschool or Not?!?!?!
The other night Becca told me that she wants me to homeschool her. I explained to her why I had backed off on the teaching. She looked relieved and we discussed how to go about starting again. I had some things for her to do today. What a crabby and fighting girl. She had a terrible attitude. I know that she really does need to do some schoolwork and that she needs to learn to obey respectfully. It is going to be a challenge to figure out how to get there with her. So many challenges to work through with my two little ones!
Oct. 21, 2007 - New Plan Again
I have decided my kids are too sick for me to homeschool. They just need to learn respect and obedience first. I am going to work on the healing of their hearts and take the focus off of school. In reality, if they keep going in the direction that they are going, an education will not matter. They will be in prison. They already have enough street smarts for that.
Oct. 13, 2007 - Having Trouble Finding the Way
I am having such a hard time this year finding the way to homeschool. My two RAD kids are so off that life is just on the edge of disaster all the time. I am so drained just working with the healing in their hearts. I love these kiddos and truely desire to be the mom they need.
Sep. 30, 2007 - New Plan
Since my kids seem to want to fight school so much, I have changed the plan. We have a garage and shed that need to be cleaned out. I figure in the mornings we can head out to organize. The kids can carry boxes for me and move things to piles to get rid of, save, go to the dump, etc. I can at least feel like I am getting something accomplished. Then we can come in and have lunch and I will give them work they can do on their own and I won't teach for a few weeks.
I have given each kid a place for turning in their schoolwork and put a Minnie Mouse on my daughters' and a Mickey Mouse on my sons'. So they have enjoyed turning their work into Mickey and Minnie instead of Mom. I am looking at different ways to make school appealing and desireable. Another thing I do is give them a mystery to solve each day. I give them clues periodically throughout the day and when they figure it out they get a little inspirational card. I plan to have a certain number to collect in a month and then they can have a bigger prize. We haven't gotten very far with any of my plans to make school fun because my son rages most of the days and we can't even get to school.
My brain is so tired of trying to think of new and different ways to help my RAD kids. I am exhausted each day.
Sep. 28, 2007 - Discouragement
I am so discouraged right now. I try to get our school day going and my RAD kids (especially one) create so much chaos that we never get anywhere. I am so tired and really think we are under attack. I just feel like quitting on even trying to do anything right now.
Sep. 26, 2007 - Taught One Subject/Big Accomplishment
My RAD son has been raging for weeks. It is so hard to get school done with a boy who is literally running wild. Today we managed to do Bible, what an appropriate lesson. It was about trusting God to meet all our needs. Just what my kiddos needed. So, one subject was good enough for today. Someday, we will manage to get more done.
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