The Path of Shalom
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Jan. 24, 2006
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Life and Struggles
I have had some express that they have missed me. Thanks! I just have been dealing with life and though I am not a person who usually struggles with depression, I think I have had some of that this winter. At least, it is a sense of grief and a feeling of being overwhelmed. I am also trying to break the internet addiction and am overcoming it to a certain extent. I spend less time on here than I was, mostly checking email which I haven't been good at answering, either, because of my tendency to withdraw right now, so there aren't many there, as well.
Rick got sick with a virus during finals the beginning of December and by the time Joelle, her baby and our son left for Florida on the 16th it had gone to his lungs. At that point, I think it was viral pneumonia. Antibiotics and steroids would do more harm than good, so we hit the poultices and herbs. He has had bronchitis for weeks now, but he is finally shaking it. It is good that the only thing he really had to do during his winter break was to pick up and deliver the food for the food bank. He was to deliver it to the married student housing complex and had very few people come out to get it, so we had to find some others to share it with since it was way more than we could use. It was fun to bless others that needed it, though. Our neighbor knew a guy on disability and he knew other folks that needed it, so we would take it to him and he would pass it on. This semester, Rick's schedule is such that he is not able to pick up the food and he is volunteering 2 days a week for when students come to pick it up. I have to say I liked being able to get some every day during the week. At this point, it has been a major portion of our groceries. Our Father continues to faithfully provide for us.
Rick is back into the swing of the new semester. It looks like a lot of his classes this time are ones where he has papers and projects. Last semester he had a lot depend on taking about 3 multiple choice tests. For some people, that would be wonderful, but he has always had trouble with multiple choice tests. When he took the exam to get his real estate license in Missouri, it took him five times to pass it. He has had some testing here that shows that it is his worse modality and he will not do as well in classes that depend on multiple choice tests. At least he passes them with at least a "C." His best type of classes are ones where he has lots of papers. He usually gets an "A" in them or at worst a high "B." I don't think that there should be multiple choice and rote memorization in college. That is for the professors because it takes less work to teach and evaluate that way. It does not prove learning, which is much more complex. Of course, we are finding that higher education is really a joke in a lot of ways, and especially in a so-called "christian" college. Much of what is taught is without a scriptural viewpoint, but a humanistic, socialist-marxist viewpoint. I'm sure that a lot of parents would reconsider the university he is attending, if they knew how it shakes the faith of their young adults. I know that Rick can be a thorn in the side of some of the professors, since he speaks up for the truth in his classes.
I'm trying to become more organized in running my home and in our home education. I am a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" type of person and have never successfully kept to a schedule. Now the idea of developing routines and making charts for me and the children is more doable, so I am working on that. The world would probably say that I have ADD, but I can really concentrate on some things to the exclusion of everything around me. I have struggled with this area of my life my whole life, though, and at 50 it can be a little discouraging. I'm also a turtle when it comes to getting things done. It is probably perfectionism, since my husband teases me about it, but I find doing a job slowly and thoroughly is better than fast and making a big mess and having to do it over. I have got much better at keeping my house looking nice, but I have to say a big part of that is having a cleany husband who doesn't add to the children's mess, plus my desire to make it nice for him. He never, ever criticizes me when I fall behind but just grabs a broom or vacuum or does some laundry. I know I am really blessed by this and the fact that he lived on his own for so long and always had an orderly home. In fact, it was always immaculate whenever I went to visit him. It was one of my fears before we married, that he would not be able to handle living with his messy wife. He has relaxed his standards a little and I have improved a lot with his acceptance and encouragement. I did find a really good site with lots of help and encouragement. It is Large Family Logistics and I sure could have benefitted from it years ago. I have problems with the "me first" stuff and "goddess worship" on the Flylady site, so unsubbed from that when I found this.
I actually got two aprons sewed for me. That is something I have been wanting to get done for a while. I made a special pocket on them for a tablet and pen to write down ideas and things I remember or notice that need to be done. I am really good at not remembering it when it is not in front of me. I just did that with my oldest grandchild's birthday. I remembered it days before and thought, "Oh, I can get a letter to her written and sent off on time." Then I did not write it down and the days slipped by me, the day was upon me and I got busy and it was too late to phone and the next day it happened, too. Two days after her birthday, I phoned and wished her a happy birthday. Me and time just don't get along too well. I joke and say that I was made for eternity since I don't do well with time. If I had a digital camera, I would post a picture of my aprons. I want to do one more so I never have all of them in the laundry. Then I have lots more projects that I have procrastinated getting done that I want to get done. I like sewing and have considered doing it for others. I just am not a good businesswoman. I'm more inclined to give things away than charge for it, so am not so sure I would do well. It sure would help at this time to be able to do something from home. I can sew about anything and have done lots of different kinds of things as well as altering patterns so they can be made into clothing to nurse a baby modestly, but not have to be button down the front stuff.
Rick's foreign language requirement is what would hold him up from graduating as soon. He had French when he was in college over 30 years ago. I think his academic advisor saw that and didn't think it important to have him start in language right away. Well, he could not go into intermediate French when it was that long ago he had it, so he is auditing the elementary French this year and because of needing two more semesters of it, it would have put off graduation until May of 2007. Then he found out about taking immersion French and being able to get the whole two semesters done in four weeks. Lee University is going to approve his doing so and we are planning a trip to Quebec, Canada in May to take an immersion French course in Montreal. The whole family is planning on going. We are all working on learning French. We were given a homeschool French curriculum, Le Francais Facile!, and the children and I are working on that as well as whatever we can get our hands on. When the excess tuition funds come in, I want to get the Jesus Film in French and some other movies and tapes. I think they would really help. So anyway, please pray for us in this area, for it all to come together. If he completes the immersion French program, he will graduate in December of this year. Then we need prayer for what we are to do then. We really do need our Father's leading in our lives.
Joelle and Philip need prayer for direction. If you read her blog, you know that she is struggling with the uncertainties of her life. I will find it quite difficult if she moves clear across the country, but I want our Father's will for them. We got a really nice letter from Philip and it is obvious that G-d is doing a work in him. It is good when we see some of the answers to our prayers. I can tell you that we can get really frustrated sometimes. My children's lives has been one of the things that has weighed heavily on me lately. I was given a promise years ago in Isaiah for my children. I wrote a dear friend the other day, who does not know that promise and she wrote back those very verses to me as an encouragement and exhortation. It is: "You afflicted, tossed with storms, and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in beautiful colors, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of rubies, and your gates of emeralds, and all your border of precious stones. All your children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the shalom of your children. In righteousness shall you be established: you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not be afraid; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. Behold, they may gather together, but not by me: whoever shall gather together against you shall fall because of you. Behold, I have created the smith who blows the fire of coals, and brings forth a weapon for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness which is of me, says the LORD." (Isa 54:11-17) The specific verse that I was promised for my children was verse 13, but almost the whole chapter was given me when I was going through the breakup of my first marriage.
My oldest daughter, Lael, lost someone very special to her and her daughter, Brianna, on December 23rd. That is Brianna's other grandmother. Even though Lael is divorced from Brianna's dad, Rosemary continued to be a wonderful second mother to her and grandmother to Brianna. She was a woman of faith and I know she is rejoicing in the arms of her Savior, Yeshua. She lost two breasts to cancer and then had been surviving heart disease this last two years, but the cancer came back in her bones and it was her time to go home. I'm glad that she was able to prepare Brianna, herself, before her time to go came. Lael has been living for the world ever since her dad told her and Joelle what he was doing. It was a real blow to her and she has not recovered yet. I just keep praying and did need the above reminder for her. My daughter, Rachelle, who is in the army is living with a guy right now. She has not wanted me to know, but since Joelle is living at her duplex and she is not there, it came out. That has also been very hard for me. I think as parents who have been redeemed from our own awful lives of sin, we desire so much for our children to not go through the same things. My greatest desire is that they really know Yeshua and the best Father there will ever be through Him. When John says that he has no greater joy than that his children walk in truth, I know what he means. I know that Joelle and Arielle can be such an encouragement when I see them growing in the Truth. I desire so much that all of them would have His shalom in their lives and their lives would bring glory to Him.
One big prayer request I have is that YHWH would bring some "in real life friends" into our lives that love Him and are "real." I appreciate the blog-friends we have and even the email and phone relationships, but I just feel such a need for "in your face" type of fellowship. Everything we have is long distance right now. We are not going to find it in a "church." We are in a very "religious" area and that is not what we want. We want reality. I know that might bother some who read here, but we have gone through too much in that area and the whole format does not lend itself to down-to-earth, real fellowship. BUT, a few families that want to meet together and "encourage one another daily, lest your hearts be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" would be wonderful. We are not sufficient unto ourselves.
I hope that catches you up a little anyway. I really need to know my Father's will about blogging and what He really wants me to do in life. I do find that it is so easy to get caught up in the pride of people commenting and telling you how great you are doing. I don't want that! I want my life to bring glory to Him and it is hard when I realize that the most subtle of sins has crept in again. I know I could turn off the commenting feature, but then there is no interaction and that means a lot to me. I just wish it could be "face-to-face." May YHWH bless each of you with life, shalom and joy!
Love and shalom,
Serena
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