Nov. 11, 2009 - Strength
- Sometimes I struggle with feeling weak. Physically I just can't do all that I want or sometimes even need to do. When people look at me, they can't see anything wrong. To them, I “look” healthy, but there can be quite a war going on within my body and mind even as I smile.
- There are times when I've been in so much pain, that I've really thought about using one of the motorized carts at a store. But I haven't been able to do it. Deep down the idea of needing help just to get around is still too much for me. As silly as it may sound, the thought of going to the grocery store or a field trip with my kids can have me clinging to Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- I have to remind myself that even though I may not be physically strong, I can still be mentally tough. I can be strong in the Lord, even when my body fails me.
- Being strong is a choice, not a condition. God tells us to be strong in the Lord, not by our own power. Our strength comes from our union with Him, from his all-mighty power. Zechariah 4:6 says “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty.”
- Being strong means remembering to walk by faith and not by sight, releasing the fears, and clinging to Truth. It means putting on the armor of God each and every day.
- And that much I CAN do.
- Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6: 14 – 17
Nov. 10, 2009 - Ode to the Mattress Maker
The greatest man-made invention, in my opinion, isn't the steam or gasoline engine, or the computer, or even airplanes. I think it's the mattress. The kind the would make Goldilocks very happy, not too hard, not too soft, but just right.
I'm incredibly fond of my bed, made up of a mattress. If I no longer had a computer I wouldn't cry. If flight became a thing of the past I wouldn't worry. If I had to start walking everywhere I would probably grumble and whine, but I would get used to it. However, if I lost the use of a good mattress, I don't think I'd ever get over that.
You may think that I'm a hard-core blogger, but I put more time and effort into being a napper. Sleeping at night is only intensive training for my napping, and like a runner after a good, long run, I find it to have been hard work but well worth it--it gives me a rush. It can be exhilarating and then my body is ready for a good nap to recuperate.
Before the modern bed was invented, people had to sleep on poky straw or feathers. Quite a problem for those with allergies and deadly for those with asthma. Before that it was soft dirt or hard dirt, but I doubt there was ever any "just right" dirt. That's why the bears lived in a house and slept in beds. It wouldn't have been the same story if Goldilocks had wandered into a cave and tested three different bear wallows.
I completely and totally love my bed and all of the cozy comfort that it has to offer. It's just fills my heart with joy to crawl under the covers and snuggle down. Waking up in the morning is most painful. At least I have naps to look forward to.
To whoever invented the modern mattress, I am truly grateful. I wouldn't be half the napper I am now without it.
Nov. 6, 2009 - Grandpa and the Skunk
My grandpa, my Papafather's dad, was a country vet. He had a little office off the side of the house where he did small animal surgery, and exams. He made house calls all around the country, some trips taking him an hour or more to reach the animal in need of help, be it cow, horse, sheep, or pig. Very often he would have one of his children in tow. He had 10 of them so there was no shortage of helpers. It all sounds very James Harriot like, and in a way it was. James Harriot's stories are popular with that side of the family and each story reminds them of one like it that grandpa experienced.
Grandpa's office was, as I said, just off the house. Just off the kitchen to be exact. My grandma had a dutch door put in so that she could just open up the top half to talk to him and yet keep the little ones inside. Think about that. A vet's office, just off the kitchen. Do you recall how a vet's office smells? That smell still lingers in that office to this day and it's been over 10 years since my grandpa died.
Aside from the smell, I never gave grandpa's office much thought. We would traipse our way through it on the way to play outside, to gather in the clothes from off the line, to pick grapes, collect eggs, or to find grandpa. The office doubled as grandma's laundry room so I suppose that's why it didn't seem like a room that needed much attention. I never spent any time in it other than to get from point A to point B. Which is strange now that I think about it, all those fascinating instruments, chemicals, medicines, and the like just within reach. I never touched them or was ever tempted to do so.
One temptation I did give in to was a special barrel out back that held two skunks. Grandpa would warn us to leave those skunks alone. My numerous cousins and I would stand around the barrel peering in, and those skunks would peer back. The lot of us cousins would look for only a moment and then run away as fast as we could before we got sprayed. I didn't find out until I was much older that those skunks couldn't spray because my grandpa had "deskunked" them. I don't know if my cousins were aware of this at the time or not, they ran just as fast as I did. Grandpa's warning hadn't been for us, he had been worried that we would torment the skunks.
Skunks actually make a great pet and are positively darling, if you can legally keep them. My uncle kept one for awhile. She was just like a cat, had a litter box and everything. Her name was Rosie, and then some, but I won't repeat that part.
We have a family story, told every couple of years or so I guess, about grandpa and one particular skunk he was de-scenting. While in the process of removing the gland that contains the hideous skunk musk, it was ruptured. It squirted all of its contents right in my grandpa's face. He came into the kitchen to clean up and the only thing he said was, "It's such a beautiful color." Apparently skunk spray is an amber color, and my God fearing grandpa could still recognize the beauty of God's handiwork even in a skunk's musk.
Funny, while my aunts and uncles roar with laughter about this story every time they tell it, I don't remember anyone talking about the smell lingering in the kitchen or what on earth my grandma said or did. I'll have to ask them about that.
After the laughter dies down, someone will always mention how my grandpa was such a quiet, gentle, and patient man. Oh he had his moments when a cow would stomp him, but how many men do you know who would take it from a skunk and only comment on it's beauty?
Update: I asked one of my aunt's if she remembered grandma's reaction to grandpa coming in smelling of skunk that badly. She didn't really remember, she figured grandma probably dealt with it in stride. Believe it or not there are a lot worse smells a vet can have lingering about his body. My aunt remembers one smell that caused everyone near grandpa to be physically nauseous. Grandpa had to clean out a cow whose calf had died inside her at near full term. The calf had become a decaying mass of jelly, with only bones left. The smell lingered on grandpa for quite awhile--no matter how often he washed or what he tried, the smell wouldn't go away. He actually got infected pores on his arms from cleaning that cow out.
Nov. 5, 2009 - Y.oung M.inds C.acophony A.lbum
When I was a young and silly girl I really wanted a certain record. Yup, I said record. They still existed even though cassette tapes were beginning to make their appearance. The problem was, I didn't own a tape player, I owned a record player.
I can't even remember now how this record made it to the top of my wish list. I'm guessing that what really happened was that I had seen it while digging through the records at the store and it called to my fickle heart. I trotted off to the nearest money source, which just happened to be my Aunt Sissie. I was spending a couple of weeks with her during the summer. Her children were all grown and possibly gone, that part of my memory is a little fuzzy. Anyway, I guess Aunt Sissie saw nothing wrong with indulging me and she bought it. Oh, I was a happy music lover! I listened to that album for years. Perhaps all of two-years.
I have no idea what my mother thought of this present. I don't recall her ever expressing it to me. I may have to ask her about that. I do remember that my aunt loved me and wanted to give me something simple, like a two week invasion of her home and privacy wasn't enough. She was just like that, quietly giving.
So what record sang to me and held my attention for so long? Irwin the Disco Duck In the Navy.
- In the Navy
- Macho Man
- Y.M.C.A.
- Music Box Dancer
- Last Dance
- Knock on Wood
- Le Freak
- Instant Replay
- I Love the Night Life
- Goodnight Tonight
I'm sure it was that dashing figure of a duck in his sailor uniform that caught my eye in the first place. I wanted to join the Navy after all! As one of those grown cousins that no longer lived in the house was in the Navy, it was probably what tipped the scale in my aunt buying it for me. I wouldn't buy anything like this for my own children, let alone my nieces.
It is however a somewhat fond memory, mainly because of my Aunt Sissie. I can't ever hear Y.M.C.A. without thinking of this record, and I can't think of this record without remembering her.
Nov. 4, 2009 - The Common Thread that Weaves My Memories
"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together." ~Erma BombeckThat common thread, I know what it is. It's love. Not necessarily for each other, but for the same group of people. For instance, my sister and I are very opposite from each other, but our love for our mother is the only thing that keeps us together. We also love the same aunts, and uncles, and cousins, but it's our mom that keeps us in communication.
I pray that I will always remember the fun my family has had. I don't ever want to forget the good times. I'm going to be writing some of them down, more for my benefit then yours, but I hope that I write them well enough that you can enjoy them too. I want to weave my memories together on "paper" before my mind unravels. I'm not expecting that to happen anytime soon, but I've already noticed that a few strands have been pulled and the edges are wearing.
My mom keeps a box full of all the comic strips that made her truly laugh. She wants to read them when she is old and feeling unhappy. I want the same thing of my memories. In case I can't remember, I can pull one out and hopefully it will help me to remember and I can be happy because my life has been so truly blessed. I may even pull them out before I'm very old, because so often lately I do forget just how blessed I am.
Nov. 4, 2009 - Being Content
I have been thinking a lot about contentment lately. I have some friends who are going through some extremely hard times. They are people that I love and admire. And honestly, sometimes I thought they were “more blessed” than me. (Do you ever think that?)
On the outside, they seemed to “have it all”, great careers making good money, nice homes and cars, loving families, lots of friends, health, etc...
But now, they are going through some things that put all of that in perspective and made me realize I need to rethink some things.
I realize that many times I've looked at God blessing me by what He gives me. Now I know that often He is also blessing me with what He doesn't give me – the things He has protected me from.
Does that make any sense?
It's not that the money or success that they've experienced are solely to blame for what they're going through. That's actually far from it. But those good things are what I could see and admire. I didn't see all of the things that they were privately battling (or would someday be battling).
Shame on me for thinking that somehow God loved them more because He was blessing them with certain things. Sure we struggle, but my family is extremely blessed. We love each other like crazy, we've got a comfy home with plenty of land to enjoy, and we get to spend lots and lots of time together. I have GOT to quit taking that for granted.
All families have their struggles. Some will struggle with finances. Some struggle with family tensions. Some struggle with marital issues. Others struggle with health or loss. Those things just come from living in this sinful fallen world where accidents, confusion, selfishness, envy, and disease run rampant.
We can't control all of the things that come into our lives, but those things don't have to consume us. We must walk by faith and not by sight, all the while trusting in God and knowing that He has our best interests at heart. We have to quit looking at others and wondering why things seem so hard for us, but so easy for them. Our lives were not created for our comfort. God chooses whether we need the sweet or the bitter. We were created to glorify Him and He gets to decide how – whether it is through success or trials, health or illness, joy or sorrow. Sometimes being content means letting go of our plans and desires.
We need to quit keeping score. Being content is a choice. One day I met a woman who was going through a horrible time, the worst time of her life. Yet she really didn't have any sympathy for others. She was certain that everyone else had things so much better than she did. She didn't know that many of our friends were facing extremely trying times themselves. Because even as those women were struggling, they were trying to be content, to count their blessings, and to look at how they could bless others.
It doesn't take a perfect life to glorify God, He uses struggling imperfect people every day.
And even IN our struggles, God is there, which is truly the greatest blessing! Remember the story in Matthew 14: 22-33 about the disciples being out in the boat on stormy waters? Even when Peter began to sink because he was scared by the storm, Jesus reached out to grab him and saved them all. We have to remember that He will reach out and grab us when we are scared and sinking too.
That's where my hope is. That's what keeps me content.
“This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”
Nov. 3, 2009 - Butch Bills and the Sundance Sagerats
Why on earth do I feel like a criminal on the run while keeping one step ahead of financial ruin? To date I've done nothing criminal, nor do I plan to, and yet I feel like I am dodging "the law" of creditors. Just so it's clear, we actually still have good credit, but only due to the grace and mercy of God.
Still, there are days when I think it would just be a whole lot easier if I turned myself in and went to debtors prison. Not that we have that anymore, but I am so weary of this flight into financial freedom. Flight might be a strong word for it--it's more like dragging a penguin on a leash.
On the whole I have no one to blame but myself, we gambled and we are losing, but there have been outside influences that have played their part. Just as a farmer must still depend on the weather in order to produce a good crop, while doing what he can to help it along. Frost, tornados, and hail can all destroy a crop, it shows no mercy to a dedicated farmer or a lazy one.
Remember how I said that our good credit is still only good because of the grace and mercy and God? It's true, but I have several friends who were finally captured by the credit Pinkertons--Bankruptcy and Foreclosure. In no way do I think that God's mercy and grace were pulled away from them, although I'm sure they may feel that way.
I just don't understand how I can feel like I've done something so morally wrong, as if I committed first-degree non-payment, and why I have to keep looking over my shoulder and dodging the long arm of the law, certain that I am about to be caught.
While I know that the enemy can beat me up, there must be a reason why I feel so guilty. I don't think it's all the bad guy in the black hat. No, we didn't spend our money on extravagances instead of paying our bills. I'm not saying that we have always spent our money wisely, but we've not been neglectful either. Yet, have I been a good steward? Sadly, no.
There is only One who can grant me immunity, riding the white horse, swooping down, scooping me up, and riding away into the sunset. Okay, I don't have to wait for the Rapture, He can still save me, but it painted a good picture for my theme, don't you think?
Christ is who I must run to, instead of dodging from payday bush to payday bush, and hiding out in dark caves of no cell-phone service so the creditors can't call. He won't tell me that I don't have to pay my bills and He won't actually pay them for me like He has my sins, but He can give me much needed rest and focus. He still answers prayer! If only I would take the time to actually look for Him instead of at how far away the next payday bush is.
Nov. 2, 2009 - Holiday Idea Book--No Charge
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Nov. 1, 2009 - October 2009
What a month! We were busy with school,of course. I really should take some pictures of the Lambies at work, shouldn't I?
We harvested the remainder of the tomatoes and tore them out. Our friend Tammy blessed us with plenty of her pet llamas manure to enrich the soil for our winter garden. We plan to have carrots, lots of varieties of greens, garlic and maybe some peas.
GirlofGod and Trixie went camping with Daddy and Grandpa. Sadly, Daddy forgot to take any pictures.
Trixie broke her arm (you can go to her blog for more about that; she'll blog soon).
Getting costumes ready for Halloween took the rest of the month.
I'm hoping November will allow more time at home. I love the Thanksgiving season!!
Oct. 31, 2009 - My 4th Blogiversary
Wow. I can't believe it's been 4 years since I started blogging. A lot can change in a year, think of what can change in four!
When I first started blogging I was a small time homesteader. We had goats that we milked. (We had chickens, too, but that was before the blog.) We also had two dogs and three cats. We don't homestead anymore because I have asthma and even walking into the barn would make me sick due to all the hay and straw. We now have one cat.
When I first started blogging I lived in Oregon. Now I live in Kentucky. I lived in the country, now I live in town. The economy was a lot stronger four years ago.
When I first started blogging I was homeschooling my four children. Now I only homeschool three because my oldest is a homeschool graduate.
When I first started blogging I had a staunch supporter in Nanna Nina. She read my blog daily, encouraged me, and told her friends to come read my blog. She died 2 years ago, and oh how I still miss her! The pain is still so fierce that I can't ever think about her without crying. I've also lost 3 other family members but I've gained 2 with the birth of a cousin-once-removed, and a great-niece.
When I first started blogging I wasn't the Senior Editor of HSB or an Assistant Marketing Director, or any of the other things that I do for TOS. Sometimes, I really miss being "just a mom," but if I have to work, I'd rather work for TOS then anywhere else.
When I first started blogging I had a lot of good friends. Now I have even more!
For all of you who have been following my blog, thank you! Outside of family, I don't know why some of you would; I don't really have anything new or different to tell you then any other homeschool blogging mom, but maybe it's nice to know that there is one more, just like you, who loves what she's doing and wouldn't change it for the world. That's important in today's society where feminists rule the work place and stay-at-home mom's are viewed as ignorant and down-trodden. It's why I still read your blogs.
I started my blog on Halloween, for no special reason other than we don't celebrate the holiday and I had totally forgotten what the day was. Then and now, we still live our lives for Christ, the best that we can, and we let our little light shine for all the world to see.
Happy Blogiversary to me!
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