The Five Love Languages of .....
Bloggers?
You've been blogging for a while, but
you're not sure how you feel about this new chance to spill your guts to the
whole world. At first you were excited, but now you’re sort of ambiguous.
That's because you're feeling one—or more—of the blogger’s five love
languages.
1. Acts of Service
Behind every blogger, there’s a support team. From the blog master at the
website to the teenage computer whiz at home, the new blogger depends on
someone else to get him up and running. But you, being over the age of forty
(actually closer to fifty), don’t even know what a blog is. You need someone
younger and smarter, someone with computer savvy to explain it to you.
"Explain it again!" you say. "What is a blog?"
"It stands for web log, mom—a log, like a journal entry—on the Web," your
nineteen-year-old tries to explain.
"You mean people just write about anything that they want to?"
"Sure!"
"But, what’s the point?" you ask.
"It’s fun, mom. It’s just for fun!" your fourteen-year-old says.
"Oh…," you say, trying to remember the last time you did anything just for
fun. "Explain it to me again," you say.
Your family dynamics have just changed. Suddenly there’s a new energy in the
air. Your fourteen-year-old realizes he has a place to display his writing
where people will actually read it. No publishers, no query letters, no
rejections! Imagine that, writing just for the fun of it (did some
homeschool mom come up with this idea, or what?). He’s kept a journal for
years, but now he has a captive audience—a BLOG audience. Look out!
Both of your kids jump at the chance to blog. They pick templates, choose
blog names, fill out user profiles, upload their pictures, and post their
first blog faster than you can say, "Remember who taught you how to
read!"…And just as fast, they get comments back on what they write. In fact,
they live for them—even dream about them. And there you are standing on the
fringes of the blogosphere, knowing how much you love to write, but do you
really want to cross this new frontier?
"Okay," you say to your in-home acts-of-service blog support member. "How do
I get my own blog?" The rest is history!
2. Quality Time
You think about writing new entries all day long, knowing full well there's
not enough time in eternity for the amount of blogging you want to do! You
try to figure out the best time of day to blog. Maybe first thing in the
morning, while the kids are still asleep—oh, but that takes away from your
time with the Lord. That won't do! There's mid-morning, but the breakfast
dishes are piled up and you can't find a clean plate. Not now! There's
afternoon, but your homeschool day isn't going as planned—you didn't do
phonics with Sally or math with Johnny, and a nap is looking good right now.
There's 5:00 p.m., but do people really read the blog at that time of day?
At dinnertime it’s also time to face the facts—blogging won't fill the
family’s stomachs. Besides, you didn't make a meal earlier because you were
trying to figure out how to squeeze some time in for blogging. Now, you
could blog after a dinner of wieners, chips, and baked beans (on paper
plates of course), but that would take away from family read-aloud time. But
if you’re really thinking, there is a way around that one! Yep, you’ll read
something short like Alice in Bibleland, instead of a chapter of Pilgrim’s
Progress. Finally (by 9 p.m.), when the little ones have brushed their
teeth, said their prayers, and are tucked snugly into their beds... the big
kids are still up and—you guessed it—HOGGING the computer! At 11:30 p.m. the
big kids lumber off to bed. At last you can write to your heart's
content...but you're feeling kind of sleepy and uninspired. Maybe tomorrow
you'll write the blog of all blogs...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Your blog cup of
quality time is empty.
3. Physical Touch
You’re one of those writers, who wants to reach out and touch your audience.
You’re not happy to use plain text. Oh, no! You have to use large type,
CAPS, bold underlines, bold italics, tons of exclamation points!!! and
smiley face buttons :) to get your verbiage across.
You’re a terry-cloth-bathrobe and fuzzy-house-slipper kind of blogger.
You’re rarely found outside of your "Comfort Zone," which is just another
name for your personal computer territory. You bought a laptop so you can
blog morning, noon, and night as you migrate from one relaxing place to
another—the deck overlooking the woods (with an iced latte), to the
overstuffed couch in your family room (with a cinnamon latte). You can give
your fellow blogsters a hug through cyberspace from any room in your house,
and that makes you very, VERY happy. And on rainy or snowy days when all the
rest of the world is battling the elements, why even get out of bed? Just
fluff your pillows, snuggle up to your keyboard, ask one of the kids to make
you a double chocolate latte, and enter the exciting world of the
blogosphere, where new posts are just an upload away.
Share your laptop with the rest of the family? Are you serious? Everyone
knows you’re Numero Uno, Head Honcho, Top Blogger Dog in the family. After
all, you must keep your active blogger status or someone will pass you up!
Your cup won’t be full (of latte or love) if you have to wait to use your
soft touch keyboard. The bumper sticker on your car says it all… "I’d Rather
be Blogging!"
4. Gift Giving
You love giving gifts. The saying "It’s the
thought that counts!" is absurd to you. A gift should be more than a thought. It
should be something the recipient needs or desires, not a mere token of
affection given out of duty. Your blog entries are the same way. Each one must
be a priceless treasure of prose—a gift to your fellow bloggers. You couldn’t
possibly think of posting second-hand information. Blogs like "My Favorite
Old-time Radio Program Links," "My Sister’s Potato Salad Recipe," or questions
such as "Is anyone else out there on the Atkins diet?" would never do. Your
blogs are original, with useful information and spiritual insights that take
hours to write. If you work hard, you might get one posted once a week.
You type in Microsoft Word, where you can use
spell-check and the thesaurus, editing several times over before pasting the
entry into your blog. Every time you sit at the computer the tension mounts.
What should you blog about this time? What will really make a difference in
people’s lives? You chew on your fingernails. The blank Word document stares
back at you. Should it be a tearjerker this time—an essay of deep conviction?
What about the psychological effects of blogging too much? Or maybe a how-to
essay like "Five Steps to Simplify Your Life" (don’t blog, don’t blog, don’t
blog, don’t blog, don’t blog) or a whimsical observation about living in a house
with three active blog members who own only one computer? You decide to go for
the tears. Scratching your head you wonder, "Insane"—is that the right word to
use, or is there a better one? "Obsessive compulsive"—yep! That describes
blogging to a tee! You wouldn’t want to shortchange your audience. After all,
they deserve the best!
5. Words of Encouragement
You reach deep into your soul and write a heart-wrenching entry. You feel so
vulnerable, but you hope that it touches someone else out there in the
blogosphere. An hour later, you check your blog. No comments. Maybe it was too
emotional, too painful. But a few days ago someone wrote a really emotional
blog....it brought tears to your eyes! You just had to comment on it, and so did
four other people. A few minutes later you check your blog once more. Still no
comment. Okay, you're going to have to change your writing style. You write a
new entry. This time you’re witty and humorous. That ought to do it! An hour
later, you check your blog. Wow! You finally get a comment! Your pulse races in
anticipation…you click on the comment…Oh no! You just got tagged! What’s the
point? Maybe all this blogging stuff is just a substitute to fill the need you
have for words of encouragement. You might as well forget it! Wait, there’s a
comment. What? It‘s from one of your kids. "Keep up the good work, mom. We’re
proud of you." Well, maybe there is something to be said for this blogging thing
after all!
Jill Novak and her husband Robert have
been blessed with five children. Together their family has produced The
Pebbly Brook Farm Series, The Girlhood Home Companion, and The Gift of
Family Writing. Jill is an inspiring workshop and conference speaker who
teaches families how to write and draw from life! You can contact her at
jillnovak@dls.net or visit her
website at
http://www.giftoffamilywriting.com
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