I was just re reading this blog entry about being willing to do what it takes to raise up godly children. It is such a a great blog post- I encourage you to go read it if you have not done so already.
Are we as moms, willing to do what it takes to train our children...to sacrifice our time, our selfishness, our hobbies, our phone calls, our excuses...to do whatever it takes?
Whatever it takes. I remember in Dr. S.M. Davis' sermon entitled, "Changing the Heart of a Rebel" he tells parents that they need to do "whatever it takes" to win back the heart of their child. How much better to do whatever it takes *now* to win and keep the heart of our children, rather than waiting until they are rebellious and their heart is hardened.
We will be starting our new school year on August 29th. We really have two first days of school-the first one, August 29th, will be the day that we start our day by going out for breakfast. Then we will come home and I will take some pictures and the children will receive some fun new school supplies. We will start off with a Bible lesson and then I will show them their new school books, and do an abbreviated school day. Then on Monday we will begin our school year and have our first full day of school.
Here is a great article about first day of school ideas.
I blogged a while ago about what I had to do to get ready for our year and had this list-and have finished the list..but still have some things to do.
*read about and start to plan Biblical feasts
*purchase and gather supplies
*make photocopies of pages in the back of the TM (I may do this as we go along as I did last year)
*color and laminate time line figures
*purchase binders, more page protecters, and notebooks
*take R&S spelling book to Staples to get it comb bound so it will lie flat
I still need to-
*become familiar with the Rod and Staff math and English books
*become familiar with CLE Reading
*review my MOTH scheduling plans
*review first two weeks of school and make sure I am all set
*sharpen pencils
*organize supplies a bit more
*go on line and make and print a list of Book basket books (and go get the books, closer to our start date)
There was a thread on a homeschooling board that I visit where a mom was saying how it is funny that people will tell her that her children are well behaved, but also tell her she is too strict. I have had that happen to me too. I have also had it happen where moms will come to me, ask me how I parent, and after I share with them what I do, they say that they are going to parent that way, too. But 90% of the time, they do not stick with it. They SAY they want obedient, responsible children-but then when they realize that it takes work-alot of work-they soon lose their resolve, or lose their focus and do not continue. This is frustrating!!Biblical parenting takes work-it takes sacrifice, perserverence, diligence, and lots of prayer.
I understand it is hard-and when I am honest with myself, I know that I, too, struggle with being diligent and consistant. For example, I have a wonderful prayer book and WANT to use it daily-but don't. I want to journal daily-but don't.
When it comes down to it, we make time for what is important to us. Clearly, it is not that important to me to journal daily, or I would do it.
Ouch. It is easy to criticize other moms for their lack of resolve-until I look at myself. First I must take the log out of my own eye.
What are your goals? What can you do today to make them more of a priority? Sometimes it helps to write it down- make a plan. Then we need to just do it! And the next day, do it again.
Dear Lord,
Whether it is training our children, being a better help meet to our husband, house cleaning, prayer, Bible reading, Lord, help us as moms to identify our goals and make a plan for accomplishing them. We can do nothing without you, Lord, so we come to you, asking for your help. Help us to have resolve, and "let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Help us to rely on you and not our own wisdom and understanding. Thank you Lord, for what you are going to do in my life and in the life of other moms. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I recently purchased the Godly Son Checklist, written by Tood and Renne Ellison. You can buy this checklist for only $2.50 here. This checklist is well worth the $2.50-it covers so many areas-manners, personal physical care, financial, spiritual, leadership, household maintenance and much more. Some moms use this checklist as "graduation requirements" which is what I plan to do. I would highly recommend this list for moms of sons.
"Defending Our Sons Against Effeminacy"-Doug Phillips
I just got this in my email box...goes nicely with my previous blog entry! Very timely!
There is an alarming rise in effeminacy amongst young men in our nation. And the increase has nothing to do with genetics. The issue is moral, cultural, and, most importantly, theological. The collective social conscience of the meaning of Christian manhood is quickly becoming the stuff of story books. The abandonment of teaching on family orthopraxy from the pulpit, and the exchange of fundamental moral issues for short term political victories by too many Christians who are engaged in culture wars, has created an environment where there is precious little practical difference between the way the church and the world view manhood and womanhood.
The fact is that our boys are confused because their fathers are confused. The gender-blending of the last twenty-five years is reaping an alarming toll on men, and the worst is yet to come.
The answer to the problem of effeminacy in boys and leaderless men is not going into the forest and beating a drum. Nor is the answer found in psychologically driven behavior modification theory.
Christian manhood must prevail. But for it to prevail we need a generation of men and women more concerned with the biblical vision of manhood than the prevailing view presented in the government schools, on MTV, and in too many pulpits across America. And we need men and women willing to stand — sometimes alone — against the wave of androgyny and social confusion.
The good news is that feminism in women and male effeminacy are self-defeating. They cannot be sustained. They are ultimately doomed to destruction. But along the way to their own self-annihilation, they can leave a devastating toll in the lives of our sons and daughters. They can wreak havoc on an entire culture. And this is where things stand now.
History is behind Christian manhood, which is why it must be studied both theologically and historically. In this important message, Why Christian Manhood Must Prevail, I explain the issue and seek to encourage fathers and mothers who aspire to raise their sons to stand against the tide of effeminacy and embrace a vision of noble manhood.
May we about the business of recovering biblical manhood in our time.
I just reread this article at NGJ. I like how he is quick to explain about personality differences, but goes on to clarify:
"But an enduring, overcoming spirit cannot be a preference; it is the bare minimum to survive human existence in this wicked age and still smile with sincerity."
I want my boys to have an enduring spirit, to not be afraid to try new things, to not be easily offended.
He says about fear-
"She says, “He is afraid to try new things.” Then fill his calendar with new things, and throw away all the old. Quit viewing him as incapable, and put him to the challenge. We are all afraid of the new and unknown until we have braved the dark door many times and find excitement and growth on the other side; and then, we willingly look for the door to the unknown. Grass grows by being cut. If you don’t cut it, it will reach a certain height, and then stop growing. Finally, it will fall over and droop, permanently."
Are we encouraging our boys to try new things? I know that when my boys first started climbing trees, it made me a bit nervous. But I had to get over it. My husband thought it was fine, and therefore, I adopted his beliefs as well. But it is not just climbing trees that Pearl is speaking of, it is an attitude of confidence, of courage. Do we view our children as incapable, or let our own fears prevent our sons from experiencing life? When they are grown men, they will need to fight-fight against worldliness, fight against temptations, fight for their marriage, and fight for their children. They will need to have confidence (not arrogance!) in their abilities and we can encourage them in this now.
He concludes by challenging us mothers:
"So, Lady, your concern is my concern, that modern families should culture more tough men and women. The Scriptures say, “…quit you like men, be strong” (1Cor. 16:13). It takes a strong and tough mother to produce strong and tough boys."
Am I a strong and tough mother? Am I strong in my convictions, strong in faith, strong enough to discipline them when my emotions are telling me to be easy on them? Am I strong enough to have high expectations, to challenge them, to not tolerate unkindness and disrespect? Am I strong enough to honor my husband more each day? Am I strong enough to let them go and let them- no, encourage them to try new things? Am I strong enough to put my family first and say no to too much involvement that will take me away from my first priorities? Am I strong enough to be cheerful in the midst of difficult circumstances? Am I strong enough to remember that they are HIS children and that He loves them infinately more than I do?
If I want to be a strong mother, I need to make sure I start on my knees.
Conversations With Character is a curriculum put out by Sweet Home Press that we started this summer. I really like it alot-it is easy to use, has Scripture verses for each lesson, as well as activity ideas with reproducibles. The lessons include topics such as not interrupting, showing interest in other people during a conversation, being concise, and passing the ball. My younger son really likes the passing the ball game.I have learned a few things myself throughout this book and would highly recommend this curriculum!
Today we also reviewed meeting and greeting adults. Yesterday when we had company, my youngest said hello, but did not extend his hand and did not say much. I was not happy, but when I talked to my friend and mentor about it, she was so encouraging. She reminded me to PRAISE him because he is characterized by being polite and greeting others in a way that shows respect and kindness.I so often forget to PRAISE my children enough, so this was a great reminder to me. Her suggested words were- "I noticed today when Mrs. Smith came over that you didn't extend your hand. I'm sure it was just a mistake/accident because you are always so good about doing your best and offering your hand. You're not in trouble. I'm just asking you to try to remember next time. Again, you always do a great job on this and I'm honored to be the mom of a boy that let's his light shine in all he does." I need to remember to focus on the positive more-Carla Link speaks about this in the Mom's Notes tapes.
I listened to two workshops last night by Lorrie Flem. I was able to listen free at this link. I listened to the Dawdlers workshop and the Welcome Home, Daddy one. They were both excellent. I had never heard of her and found out she is the editor of TEACH magazine and sells ebooks and CD's. She also has two character books for children that I am thinking of getting. They are here.
I talked to my children today about dawdling. The biggest issue they have with this is TALKING instead of doing what they were told to do. When I send them both up to get ready for bed, instead of brushing their teeth, they end up having a conversation about what they want to play the next day or what they are going to bring on our camping trip. Or they will be talking while doing what they were told, which slows them down. They are allowing themselves to get distracted. On the dawdling message, Lorrie says that an incomplete job should be treated as disobedience. She mentioned Proverbs 4:45-"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." What a wonderful verse! It was a great reminder when she said, do not be suprised if your children dawdle if you do it! Ouch!
So this week we will be working on-being diligent, improving how we greet Daddy when he comes home, and greeting people in general. There is always something to work on! But really, they are wonderful opportunies that the Lord brings into our lives to train our children in righteousness and godly character. Not to mention ourselves!
We leave Thursday for another camping trip-this one will involve 7 hours in the car! I think it will be the longest time our children have been in a car ever.
Last night was my eight year old's night to stay up late and have mom and me time. He asked to have a pillow fight and then to play Connect 4. We had a great time, especially with the pillow fight! He later said, "This was the best night ever of me staying up late! Thank you, mom!"
Yesterday we went to an indoor rock climbing facility. We had not been there since last summer when my then 9 year old broke his arm there! They had given us passes to come again for free since they felt bad that he had gotten hurt, so we used them yesterday. We had a great time, but I had not remembered that they have no air conditioning in there! It was over 90 degrees yesterday, which is HOT for New England...and with the harnesses on and climbing UP, they got hot fast. I got hot belaying, too! So we did not stay as long as we usually do. They both made it to the top and were pleased. I asked the manager how high that was and she said 26 feet. I think we will wait until fall before we go back -when it is cooler.
This was recently asked at a message board I am on-
Here are some of the answers I love-
"The primary reason I homeschool my children is because God gave them to my husband and I to raise and care for, why would I give them to someone else to do it? "
"Because we believe whether we give that responsibility to someone else or not, we'll still be held accountable before God for our children and their training, which includes their education. So we choose to accept that responsibility."
And this one-
"Because I love my kids more than you do."
(I would never SAY that last one to anyone!-But it is a great reason!)
In the Growing Kids Australia monkey printout, one of the things it says is-"Responsible behavior requires no parental prompting."
I think we as moms often get stuck in patterns of prompting and reminding our children, instead of requiring them to remember to do what we have already instructed them to do.
How often do we remind our children to do their chores before they play, to say "please" and "thank you" long after they should know that this is required, or to give a verbal response after we give them an instruction?
"Forgetting" and "not remembering" are often associated with passive rebellion. A child who is characterized by passive rebellion will turn the light off after you just turned it on. When instructed to put his shoes in his closet, he will put them just outside his closet. He will not give you a verbal response to an instruction without prompting. He will sigh or pout when told to do something or will roll his eyes. This child will also do something good instead of what they were instructed to do. When you will hear the passively rebellious child say "I forgot" or "I don't remember"-many times the reality is, he chose not to remember.
Reb Bradley in his book, "Child Training Tips" lists several categories of passive rebellion, including-
*consistent forgetfulness
*external obedience with a bad attitude
*obeying only on own terms
*doing what is required, but not how it should be done
*walking away while being spoken to
Many times parents are reluctant to deal with these behaviors because they are "cute" or it just does not seem like a big deal. Sometimes these behaviors are overlooked because they are not as obvious as when a child engaged in more active rebellion screams and has a a tantrum. But what may not seem like a big deal to a parent is a very big deal in your child's moral development and character. Reb Bradley talks about "intimidated parents" in his book and says that intimidated parents need their children's approval, do not want to make their children mad at them, become exasperated from reminding and nagging, and strive to talk their children into obeying by offering extensive explanations with each instruction. We need to be sure that we are not being an "intimidated parent" and ignoring our children's passive rebellion. I know in my own home, once I stopped reminding my children and expecting them to remember, I noticed them being much more responsible and even doing more than what was expected. I want them to be thinking children-to think about their own responsibilities, to think about others and use courtesies because others are precious and made in God's image, not because mom told them to. I still have work to do with my children-they are far from perfect-but I try to remember that some day
they will be husbands and will be out working, and I need to train them with that in mind. It is hard work, but we must not "grow weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.' Gal. 6:9.
We had a great 4th-went to the parade, to a band concert and then to the fireworks. Yesterday afternoon we all worked on the patio that we are putting in. The boys and I loaded up dirt in the wheelbarrow and DH spread it out. Today the boys and I went to the beach and had a great time! Having older kids is so fun-we played frisbee, played with the noodles, and just had a wonderful day.
When we got home, I saw that DH made a lot of progress on the patio and is about half done. He bought patio walkway lights-when it is finished, it should be a really nice patio/pool area. He tells me it will be 20' x 20' when it is finished. Tonight we are going to watch a movie (Buttercream Gang in The Secret of Treasure Mountain) that we borrowed from our church's library.
I found recently that the Growing Kids Australia website has some great printables...I printed out the 5 love languages bookmarks, first time obedience reminder cards, discipline flow chart, and the monkey business cards. What a fabulous resource!!
Today it is raining and so we are staying inside and catching up on a few things. The boys swept and cleaned their rooms and my younger son cleaned out his desk, too. We organized our CD's and DVD's and I made photocopies of the pages I need for the first six weeks of CTG. They picked up the toys in the basement. Now they are getting out playmobil.
I ordered piano books for my younger son who is going to start piano lessons soon. Our older son has been taking lessons for a while.
I need to work on our MOTH for this fall and take a look at our children's chores and see if they are ok or if I need to redo their chore lists for this fall.
Now I am researching how to write an amicus curaie...it is a long story but involves a local illegally operating junkyard. If anyone knows about how to do this, please email me!
We went to see Wall-E today and it was a good movie-we all liked it. It was a bit hard to hear at times because the people behind us talked throughout the whole movie. My husband even turned around at one point and asked them to please be quieter. They did quiet down for a few minutes but soon returned to their narrative.
Our neighbor's two year old grandson is visiting and he came over today with his grandma to play on our swingset. He is soo cute! I was helping him climb up into the treehouse and he was so light! It brought back lots of happy memories of our children when they were toddlers. I just love two year olds! Well, every age is great in its own way. I am really glad I have the Mom's Notes tapes on the different ages and stages. I was reading Preteen Wise while we were camping and was reminded of how crucial transitions are. As my children go into their middle school years, I need to work on transitioning from ruling by my authority to guiding by my influence, working off a relationship of trust and acceptance.
We have family nights on Fridays and another thing I am going to do (as suggested in the Preteen Wise book) is having the children start planning these. They are excited about it and I am excited to see what they will plan!
We had a wonderful week camping! The weather was pretty good--it rained a bit here and there but for the most part, it was dry. We went on two "field trips" for our state study that we are required to do each year. We will do two read alouds that go along with the field trips (we are in the middle of one now) and then each child will complete a notebooking page or two to go along with each topic.
We enjoyed biking, the beach, the brown bunnies that were all over the state park, the birds, campfires, smores, ice cream, the stars, and madlibs that made us laugh so hard we cried. I enjoyed having walkie talkies that allowed our children the freedom to ride their bikes and go to the beach (not swim) and keep in touch with us at the same time. They loved helping build and start the fire and play with "fire sticks" as they call them. They would find a long stick and get it red hot, then find an empty area and wave it around like a sparkler. They also "wrote" with their sticks on the side of the fireplace (it washes off in the rain). We all got to bed really late each night (around 10:30 or so) but slept in each morning.
Now I am doing laundry and vacuuming out the car. I will also be doing our meal planning for the week and grocery shopping.
I just read that the Maxwells (titus2.com) are coming out with a new book-Managers of Their Schools! I am sure that will be a terrific book, as all their books are. I have both MOTH and MOTC, and have enjoyed Keeping Our Children's Hearts and Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit as well.
(It seems I have a lot to say, because I think this is my third blog post today!)
Today our sermon was based on Daniel 6 and specifically verse 10. He taught us that Daniel was only about 15 years old when Babylon captured Judah and was about 80 years old when he was put into the den of lions. Verse ten says:
Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime.
What stood out to me was that Daniel "gave thanks." The verse does not tell us that he prayed that God would save him, but that he was being thankful-thankful in the midst of this awful trial, thankful even though he knew he was about to be mauled to death by hungry lions.
In addition, our pastor explained that Daniel did not change a thing-he continued to pray three times a day as was his habit. He did not close the windows nor pray quietly so as not to be seen. He boldly continued his regular praying and offered thanksgiving to the Lord, even though it might cost him his life. Daniel loved and valued communion with God more than life itself.
I was convicted this morning about my own prayer habits, which are too often haphazard. I do remember to read my Bible, but I often forget to pray for important issues and people. I have an unsaved husband, family and friends who don't know the Lord, people at church who are suffering and in pain, and of course huge issues like abortion, child molestation, the state of our nation and world....I need to pray for my children's future spouses, my children's character and love for the Lord, their academics, my parenting and relationship with them, my marriage...and oh, so much more. The pastor reminded us what a tremendous privilege it is that we can talk to the God of the universe! How amazing it is that we can "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16.
Spurgeon said this about prayer:
True prayer is not a mere mental exercise, nor a vocal performance, but it is deeper far than that—it is spiritual commerce with the Creator of heaven and earth. God is a Spirit unseen of mortal eye, and only to be perceived by the inner man; our spirit within us, begotten by the Holy Ghost at our regeneration, discerns the Great Spirit, communes with him, prefers to him its requests, and receives from him answers of peace. It is a spiritual business from beginning to end; and its aim and object end not with man, but reach to God himself.
Taken from this link-
http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/1024.htm
If you feel led, I would love it if you would pray for me...that I would make prayer more of a priority in my life, and always be thankful for having the freedom to talk with God-because I am His child, a daughter of the King.
One day this week, my eight year old came to me with a book and wanted to sit on my lap. He does not sit on my lap much anymore, and he does not fit very well anymore, either! After just a few minutes, I noticed an odor...and it was not that sweaty-little kid smell that preschoolers get either..it was unmistakably adult body odor! I commented on it and we talked about it a bit. He thought it was funny, (can you tell this is my Sanguine child??) and went to go see if his older brother also had that same smell! He reported back to me that he did-so we talked more about it (and about how it is not funny)and I took them to the store to buy deodorant. They are not in the habit of putting it on and did forget to put it on last night, but I will remind them tonight after their showers to use it. I was not expecting to have them need it so early!
We are leaving tomorrow to go camping for a week. My children usually pack their own bags, and then I usually end up asking them, "Did you pack this? Did you pack that?" I decided to have *them* be responsible for packing instead of me "owning the monkey" as Gary Ezzo teaches. So I made a master list, with their help, and printed it off. I put each list inside a page protector and gave each child a list with a washable marker. I instructed them to pack their things and check them off as they go along. Then I made one for me, too. It is way more organized this way and I don't have to "own" the responsibility of making sure they packed everything.
I can't wait to go! I love camping! We are going to a campground that we have never been to before and we are all excited!
The sermon at church this morning was GREAT and I will try to blog about it later today if I get time.
The ramblings of a homeschool mom of two. I am a God loving, homeschooling, wife and mom...I am blessed beyond what I deserve! I will be sharing on topics such as- teaching and training my children, homeschooling, nature study, home management, God's Word and whatever else comes up.
