Ok, another of the things I have been dreading-the testing or assessment of our first homeschool year. I can't decide on which to do! I would like to have an assessment done, so I know I am doing the right thing, but at the same time, so much is placed on testing scores! I think that maybe I will do the assessment, for assurances for myself and do the testing myself, through Seton (I think that is the site with the test I found, can't remember at the moment!) and see where Alisa stands. I am not sure if it is one accepted by the state of Ohio, the laws are not too clear on this. I have no worries, really-except for math, because we both HATE math! It isn't like we can't do it, we just hate to do it! I think she likes the reading, writing (only when she's in the mood though!) and hands on type stuff, but forget about the analytical things like math! Science is about the only way math is any fun for us (or cooking!)

Once this first year is under our belt, the nervousness about it will go away, I am sure!

It's now February, and I am still trying to find my way in this adventure with my kiddo! So many people are worried about Alisa and her education. They simply cannot grasp a way of schooling your kid, without the schedule, the books, the drills, the paperwork! I am having a hard time with it, myself-especially when it comes to math.

I see Alisa has learned so much, just by following her interests as they come about. But it isn't the same stuff the kids are learning in school, or at least, at the same time. But she can tell you anything about Pocahontas, or why an alligator can't live in the wild, in Ohio. She reads with a passion to learn new things. Right now, she is reading the American Girl Addy books. She has learned a lot about Black History-in a way that she can relate to it-through the eyes of a young black girl in the 1800's. She is also heavily into Fairies right now. She loves the Spiderwick Chronicles and counting the days until we can see the movie in the theater. A plus to the homeschooling thing-we can see the movie in a matinee, while its not crowded!

We are still de-schooling, trying to not stress or worry too much that we aren't following a school type schedule, or worry that by choosing assessment instead of testing, that I am cheating her in some way! I am also a bit worried about next year (already!) I keep thinking that the superintendent will say no, she hasn't learned enough-you've failed as an educator, she's back in school! Then what? Oh well, just breath, relax, and do the best I can-right? I shouldn't worry, but ignore the others, and have faith that I am doing the best for my girl!

Sometimes, I wonder, just what was I thinking, in trying to homeschool my daughter? She and I butt heads so strongly, how can I make this work? But she is starting to come around, bit by bit. I needed to de-school her, and myself. She is learning. She's not spending hours on end doing so. Then why do I feel like she's being cheated?

It is not the socialization issue-I think for the most part, she is a loner. Friends are a source of entertainment to her. There is never a true connection among her peers.

It is not the education, she is right on cue with her core subjects, and if I use traditional grades, she is at a 3.83 grade pt. average.

Then, I look at her, and see her kindness coming through more and more. Her creativity is starting to spark huge experiments, and devices and WOW! some of the things she is coming up with! In my heart of hearts, I know I am doing the right thing...