I have just started using the book 'Teaching children Joy' by Linda and Richard Eyre. I say using, because I have read, or at least looked through the book before, but recently decided that it was something that I want to add to our lifes. The books premisise is that the primary thing that young children should be taught is joy. That they come with certain joys that we need to preserve, and that there are other joys that we should teach them at this time. As I have read through this book, I am finding that my children are lacking in joy. I have managed to squash out much of the joy that they are instictivly born with, and have not taught them joy in other areas.

The first order of business is to find joy myself. I admit that it is something that I do not let myself feel often, I am too busy, too stressed, too obsorbed in the little details. I used to feel joy most of the time. It bubbled forth from deep inside of me, and spilled out of my eyes and face. I could feel myself shining. Now my face and eyes are dull, my brows drawn down bringing headaches instead of good feelings.

In time past, one of the things I most enjoyed was sitting and looking at the beauties of the earth around me, all seasons and climates I was able to find beauty in, and I could feel it filling up my soul with delight and energy. My first daughter I would watch and play with all day, having fun, being spontaneous, silly and calm. Then sometime when I was pregnant with my second child, this ability left me. When I would sit to bask in the warmth of the sun, I found myself tapping my toes, unable to sit still, tension in my stomach. And since then, as the demands of daily life have increased, I have not been able to relcaim peace and joy. Actually, after having this fourth child, I have been able to feel calm and content, something I haven't felt for some time, so I am hoping that with the return of that feeling, I will be able to teach myself and my children how to find joy in life.

The first joy that the books sets forth is one that children are born with, and this is spontaneous delight. Honestly, I don't quite understand how they differentiate this joy from some of the others that children come with. I am, however, able to see that my two oldest ages 6 and 4 have last much of the ablity to feel this. I have managed to yell it out of them with too many no's, and too many hurries, and too many "don't do that's, you'll get dirty". I see the difference so clearly from my 18 month old, who is still full of this joy. I think that you will naturally lose some of this in life, as you experience it, but I am willing to be optimistic and believe that much of it could be preserved, even into adulthood, and that an adult such as myself could even learn this.

So, as recommended by the author's, we are going to take this month to learn joy form being spontaneous. My goal is to be able to be spontaneous myself, and feel good about it, and not the squelch the little ones when they are being  spontaneous.

It seems a bit funny to me that the books teaches spontaneous joy with a list of activities and books.

Seeking joy,

Lisa