I recently had a discussion with several of my closest friends about courtship vs dating, preparing daughters to be helpmeets, etc and I discovered that while I am passionate about my convictions in these areas, it was difficult articulating what I felt. So the discussion spurred on some research by John and I to search out the scriptures and other's articles and put into writing exactly what our vision is and the why behind it. (A very good article on Biblical courtship was one called "God's Design for Scriptural Romance" by John Thompson.) Here is what we came up with:
Our desires for raising godly daughters and maidens of virtue are:
* For our daughters to embrace their single years as a time the Lord has given them to practice being helpmeets - not a time to pursue selfishness and foster independence, but a time to learn things that will help them be a complementing helpmeet to their future husband. Proverbs 31:12 states she does her husband good ALL the days of her life.
* For our daughters to embrace courtship and the role their father has been given as head of our home and their protector in this area. (Deut 22:21 & Numbers 30 –in context—and other scriptures throughout explain how God holds a father accountable for his daughter’s purity) (and as demonstrated by God's own example as our heavenly Father - Psalm 36:7) To commit themselves to guarding their purity (both the physical and the heart) Song of Solomon 2:7; 2 Cor 10:5; 1 Thess 4:1-8 ; Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 31:12 To trust their earthly father by ultimately trusting in their Heavenly Father (Proverbs 23:26, 2Cor 5:7) For more verses on why we will teach them to refrain from all manner of physical touch until they are married – you can look up these – Hebrews 13:4; 1 Cor 7:1; Proverbs 5:18-20; Proverbs 6:29; Song of Solomon Chapters 4-8; 2 Cor 11:2; Touching leads to more touching (God’s design for procreation), ultimately leading to temptation (mental and physical).
* For our daughters to embrace the calling of helpmeet - to enter marriage knowing that their God-given purpose is to be their husband's helper and co-manager of his kingdom, spending their lives building up their husbands; encouraging, honoring, and respecting their husbands; sharing, encouraging, promoting his vision for the family; teaching their children to share in and encourage his vision, so that he may 'trust her with his heart' and be free to confidently fulfill his own God-given role as priest, provider, protector, and prophet. Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 31:10-31; Titus 2:3-5
* For our daughters to embrace being keepers at home, to know and understand that this is their God-given sphere of influence (1 Tim 5:14); to be a wise manager of her husband's resources (Proverbs 31:14,16,24; Proverbs 14:1), helping him to rise to 'prominence' (to succeed in his own callings) Proverbs 31: 11, 12, 23
* For our daughters to embrace the calling of motherhood - to find true fulfillment in this 'good work' - to know and embrace that the bearing and raising of children is one of the central purposes and greatest blessings of marriage. Genesis 1:28; 1Tim 5:10, 14; 1Tim 2:15;
Putting our convictions into writing really helped John and I solidify what we were thinking on these topics. Also, having the verses referenced, showed the girls that these weren't simply our opinions on the subject, but our convictions - backed up with scriptures. We also stressed to our girls and a friend or two, that while these were our understanding of how to apply certain scriptures, it doesn't mean this will be everyone's. Sharing these convictions with our closest friends also helps hold us accountable. Should we seem to deviate from our goals or be following a path of heresy - we have a great group of friends who would exercise true biblical discipline on our behalf to bring us back into fellowship. Praise God for such a great group of friends!
