One of the things I learned very young was the power of association.  I have always tried to "hang out" with those that have common goals to my own, that uplift and inspire me.

Last night we spent some time with just such a person.  He was talking about doing your "Personal Best".  Now, personal best means different things to different people, since we're all unique.  Someone's personal best might look like someone else's worst day...  you know?

Anyway, he said that he always tries to do his personal best everyday.  That means he goes to God in the morning and commits to doing his personal best, and then in the evening, he reports back to him.  He said that you will know in your heart whether or not you did your personal best - and so does he.  So be honest with yourself, because there is no lying to God.  ;) 

But then he said something that really inspired me.  Because this sounds like a good plan to try, right?  But then he says, "Just think what a wonderful year it will be if you did this back to back everyday?  Pretty soon you'd have a personal best week.  Then a personal best month....  and if you're REALLY good at it, a personal best year."  Now, he wasn't saying that personal best is PREFECTION.  Just that when you are faced with the day to day decisions, CONCIOUSLY make decisions that you feel are the best.  Do things to the best of your ability.  No one expects perfection, but he said if we put forth an honest effort we would see our lives change for the better in ways we couldn't imagine.

Redbeard and I are giving it a go.  It can't hurt to do my "personal best", now can it?

I found this on a blog I was surfing - and I find it to be right on the money.  Here it is:

• Aware, astute, and understanding, the INFP mother is sensitive to her child’s needs, feelings, and perceptions. By observing and listening to the cues of the whole child, she is “tuned in” and naturally develops an intuitive feel for what he or she needs. Responsive and helpful as well, she tends patiently to those needs as they arise.
• The INFP mother is comfortable letting her children follow their own course of development and make their own choices. She offers encouragement and uses her insights to head off trouble and difficult issues.
• The INFP mother takes vicarious pleasure giving her children good experiences and watching them enjoy childhood. She’s happiest creating pleasant, memorable times for the whole family.
  

Here is a blog article on how to energize your type:  http://motherstylesblog.typepad.com/motherstyles_discussion_b/2007/05/8_ways_to_energ.html

If you are interested and want to take the test (it's free), here's that link:  http://www.motherstyles.com/quiz.asp

There is alot to this stuff - I know that my chatterbox nephew can drain me in a matter of minutes.  That's why I invented quiet time when the kids were little - I had to have that block of time to reenergize myself.  I have reimplemented that several times - however, since the twins have been born it has become more difficult, not only because of them, but because the demands of the older girls have gotten more as well.

We're all working through it - and yes, this fits in with the "blue" description of me.  Did I mention my husband is a yellow?  Needs to be popular, full of fun, and makes friends wherever he goes - we can't go anywhere here now without running into people - in fact, the other night we were at Olive Garden and he saw someone he remembered from somewhere... he approached the guy and the guy vaguely remembered him too... after awhile they gave up, and someone in our party yelled, "maybe you know him from school" and Redbeard said, "No, I went to school in Texas."  The guy says, "Texas?!  Where in Texas?"  Turns out he was a missionary in my in-law's ward and we had dinner with him over there one evening.  That's life with Redbeard - never a dull moment.  Gosh I love him.

Anyway, the whole point was one of our assignments in this class was to find out what we could do to allow "brain down time" - and after you take this quiz  if you choose to sign up for their newsletter, you can get a personal energy plan for free.  Here's mine:

This is from the Teton Peak Chronicle in 1913 - I found it while doing the local research for my story, and thought it was cute.  Even made me rethink some things I do - my favorite is #3...  so it's NOT just my husband that leaves litle pieces of paper, hats, pens, change, and junk all around the bedroom!  We keep designating a "spot" for him, like a little bowl, but somehow it still spreads......   :)  Well, we all have those things we're working on, and this is just a little minor thing - I think it's cute actually.  And the comment of knowing where his hat and boots are - I can so see the wisdom there! 

Receipt for Making Good Husbands

First:  Be a good wife; in doing so you will have a good influence over hubby.

Second:  Treat him with kind words, kisses, and good dinners

Third:  Keep his room in order no matter how often he scatters things around; put hat and boots where he will always know where to find them

Fourth: Never scold; no matter how wet the wood or how much the stove smokes, tell him you like it that way; smile and go on.

Fifth:  Make him believe he is all the world to you, as, indeed, he should be.  Laugh at his jokes, no matter how stale.

And last but not least, keep all his buttons sewed on and all in their proper places, and all his socks well darned. 

Then, if you don’t have a good husband we will say that you must have remarkably poor material to work on.

I am reading Dr. Laura's book of the above title.  I had said something to a male friend of mine about Redbeard and feminism, & he suggested I read this book.  So I am, and it's very interesting, so far.  But I wanted to type up an excerpt out of the book - feel free to discuss.  Discussion is good.  :)

"How did so many women get to this unhappy place of not understanding how truly "simple" men are in their requirements and how much benevolent power their wives have over them?  Why did notions like assuaging "male ego" and using "feminine wiles" rocket inro disrepute?  How is it that so many women are angry with men in general yet expect to have a happy life married to one of them?

There are a number of reasons for this, and I believe they all revolve around the assault upon, and virtual collapse of, the values of religious morality, modesty, fidelity, chastity, respect for life, and a commitment to family and child rearing.

With a religious foundation, both women and men appreciate that they become more complete when bonded to the opposite sex in holy matrimony.  Without it, though, women may see marriage as either an option equivalent to the usually temporary arrangement of shacking up, or as the threat of oppression, or as an impediment to the fullfillment of some important material goals.

When modesty, chastity, and fidelity were in vogue, women who valued themselves as more than sexual objects or outlets were respected by society in general and men in particular.  Now women have to contend with men taught to expect sexual favors as a part of casual dating.  As a result, women ignore their true nature to bond, and find themselves getting more and more hurt and bitter as they search for meaning in a culture telling them meaning has no meaning.

When there was awe and respect for life, and "accidental pregnancy" was met with commitment and responsibility becaue women expected it and men were accountable.  Now men expect an accidental pregnancy to result in an abortion because society has trained them to see this as a temporary inconvenience, or they expect to walk away because they've been told men aren't needed to raise babies.

Commitment to marrage and child rearing was once viewed as the pinnacle of adulthood identtity, so that women looked carefully for the "right" man for the job, and parents were consulted for opinions and blessings.  Now, with so few sustained marriages and children growing up with complex family trees made up of miultiple marriages, divorces, and out-of-wedlock children, fewer women look upon marriage and child rearing as stable or even normal. 

The feminist double whammy of the elevation of women without men (and children without fathers) and the dismissal of men as unnecessary or even dangerous has certainly not contributed to the kind of positive disposition that women need in order to function well within a monogamous, hetrosexual, committed relationship.

This grandiose self-centeredness about the value of women, paired with a virtual disdain for men, leads women to treat men badly.  Too many women look at men with a sense of entititlement verses an opportunity for selflessness.  Why?  All of those forces taken together have given women a false sense of superiority.

Combine this false sense of superiority with the element of not being properly psycholgically fed by their fathers and you have a recipe for tension.  Women have a hunger for being protected and cared for - whether they want to admit it or not.  This hunger is amplified when there was no father in the home.  The man or men who then enter their lives become mixed up in their psychological need to replace Dad.  This makes for inappropriate expectations about what a man can and should do, which get in the way of a healthy, two-way relationship.  While there is always some wonderful mommyng and daddying going on in all martial relationships, the compulsion to always give or receive such is a serious problem, as their partner is either force-fed or starved.  That lack of balance destroys relationships and corrodes people's psyches."  (pgs. 53 & 54)

I think she's right on the money.  I've enjoyed reading this book so far - although it's not really an eye opener for me because I already do many of the things she says to do.  I'm not one of those bitter women - but I think I could have easily become one of them, and I think I still have my feminist moments  (sigh - working on that - hard to get rid of years of conditioning, you know?).  I was pleased to hear of my daughter (Athena) defending boys/men to a group of girls that were bashing them.  She has a good relationship with her dad - not that they don't have their moments, mind you.  But that's personality issues, and we've all got those.  ;) 

One of the reoccurring themes is control - and that you can only change yourself.  I guess I'm lucky that I learned and understood that principle a long time ago early in my marriage - around year two or three.  I am amazed at how many people out there don't get that.  So.. what do you think of Doctor Laura's thoughts on the breakdown of marriage and it's consequences?  Care to share?

I am always interested in what is going on in the states around me.  I don't understand why, but people think we should do things just because others do.  I remember someone complaining that our homeschool laws were more lax than those in the states around us and we needed to move with the times.  Bull.  And then that fall Utah loosened the grip that school systems had on homeschooling familes.  Ya-HOO! 

Anyway, Utah has this big debate going on about vouchers.  The Eyre's (authors of Joy schooling) have made this youtube presentation concerning it - I think it's pretty good.  Here it is:

I don't believe in vouchers myself.  I DO believe in freedom of choice.  Here's some of Donna's thought on the subject - I echo her sentiments.  Notice she uses Bastait's "What is Seen and What is Not Seen" - If you haven't read that, then look it up online - the whole thing is available (it was about 29 pages printed out in 10pt type) online.  If you can't find it and want me to post a link, I'll be glad to.  Anway - here's the link to Donna's blog:  click here.

Here are the words of a hymn we sang in church today.  I had a flash in my mind during the song that I want to make sure I record.  First, the song:

DO WHAT IS RIGHT (Hymn # 237)

Do what is right; the daydawn is breaking.

Hailing a future of freedom and light.

Angels above us are silent notes taking

Of every action; then do what is right!

(CHORUS)

Do what is right let the consequence follow.

Battle for freedom in spirit, and might;

And with stout hearts look ye forth til tomorrow.

God will protect you; then do what is right! 

Do what is right; the shackles are falling;

Chains of the bondsmen  no longer are bright;

Lightened by hope, soon they'll cease to be galling.

Truth goeth onward; then do what is right!

CHORUS

Do what is right, be faithful and fearless.

Onward, press onward, the goal is in sight.

Eyes that are wet now ere long will be tearless.

Blessings await you in doing what's right!

CHORUS

Yesterday I attended the Math Seminar (hopefully soon I'll have some time to share with you the thoughts that came from that).  During the seminar Dr. DeMille talked about a story in American History that I had actually heard from Dan Hunter (if you or your children ever get to hear him speak - GO!), the author of the  Living History Books ( which I intend to buy in the next year).  It was good to hear it again, because I got something new out of it, and was reminded again in church when this song was sang.  Here's the story:

Abraham Clark of New Jersey had two sons in the Revolutionary Army.  They were captured by the British.  Most history sites will tell you of the imprisonment of a son in a dungeon, only given water.  What they don't tell you is that Clark turned himself in, asking for his sons release (both of them).  They said no thanks, but they were going to only give his son water unless he signed a paper dennouncing the declaration.  He went home and talked it over with his wife.  He went back with all he possessed and the deed to his home and lands, offering them as well as himself to the British.  They said no, you have to sign this paper.  Again he went home, and came back.  He told them they would have to starve his son, that he was unable to give them his honor, and left to mourn with his wife.  The son recieved food from other prisoners, and survived.

My thoughts:  Sometimes doing the right thing isn't always the short term right thing.  Sometimes we need to look beyond ourselves, and see the bigger picture.  Sometimes it's about sacrificing our selfish wants to the greater good.  Dr. DeMille's question was, could we do the same?  I don't know - that's something that I ask myself often. 

When I heard this song, I thought about freedom, and fear.  Fear is a type of shackle.  People don't do things because they are afraid - afraid to fail.  This is something else that was talked about at the seminar.  If we look at these struggles/trials a little differently, as learning stepping stones, then all of the sudden, we aren't afraid of failure, we become EAGER for it.  Because eventually, when we compound and UTILIZE  these opportunites for growth (because with the potential of failure, there is also the potential for success), it adds up to the eventual achievement of the thing we wish to obtain, whether that's financial success, educational success, living your religion, having a clean and orderly home, etc.  Doing what is right isn't always easy - in fact, it's often not.  Doing the right thing isn't necessarily popular.  Sometimes the right thing is going against what some people would consider in your best interests.  What they don't understand is that doing the right thing IS in your best interest, even when it's hard, because in the big picture the ultimate reward for doing the right, is freedom. 

And when I say freedom, I'm not just talking political, although that in itself is enough to warrent an entry.  I mean more freedom just in life, because, in my opinion, freedom is the ability to think for oneself, and act upon that thought.  If you have lost the ability to think, then you need someone to tell you what to do.  I think of the quote in the Richest Man in Babylon as it pertains to debt, "Have you the soul of a free man or the soul of a slave?"  I think American society has cultivated many slaves.  In John Taylor Gatto's book, Dumbing Us Down, he talks about how just by virture of the nature of the beast, the public school system has created an epidemic of people that are so afraid to fail, they no longer think for themselves, but want someone to tell them what to do so that they WON'T fail.  Look at the epidemic of debt - many are enslaved by it.

I also think of Flylady.  I looked at her website yrs. ago, and messed around with it, but something that I couldn't put my finger on really rubbed me the wrong way, and I unsubbed.  This was back when she only had 1800 people on her site - it was quite a long time ago.   Anyway, this past month my church had a mtg. for women that was on cleaning house.  Well, I really didn't feel like I needed to go to that, but I went anyway to support the women who were in charge (remember - doing the right thing isn't always about YOU - it's about the greater good).  It turned out they had a woman up there talking about Flylady, and she said something that hit me to the core, and I knew that this was the reason why I had been turned off so many yrs. before.  She said, "I love flylady because she TELLS ME WHAT TO DO AND WHEN TO DO IT SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT."  I think I may have gasped out loud.  How sad it is that we can't even make up our own minds just about cleaning and organizing our own homes!  And yet, we want freedom to VOTE?

Now, I'm not saying everyone that does flylady is like this, and I'm not razzing on flylady.  I think Marla is great - she and Shiloah (the Homemaking Cottage) have been filling a huge need in our society on how to keep house.  So many of us in the Nomad generation were not cultivated for keeping house, and now we are having to overcome - overcoming is a GOOD thing!  So if you enjoy flylady and she has helped teach you how to make a routine and use it, I think that's great.  I'm talking about all the emails that I read at the time from women to Marla thanking her for telling them what to do.  These are women that aren't learning - they have sold themselves into unknown slavery. 

I want to share a quote with you from Gone With The Wind:

"Ah done had nuff freedom.  Ah wants somebody ter feed me good vittles reg'lar, and tell me what ter do an' whut not ter do, an' look affer me w'en Ah gets sick."  ~ Big Sam (The O'Hara's ex-slave)

Anyone else get shivers when you read that?  Think about current events - have you seen this mentality amongst our people today?  I have. 

In fact, I've said it recently in relation to my own health.  I was having a bad day physically, and I told my husband in exasperation, "I don't want to think about this anymore!  It's too much!"  To which he answered, "That's not true.  You'd be chained to a drug for the rest of your life if you had just done what the doctor told you to do.  But because you're willing to study hard, looking for the right way instead of the easy way, you'll achieve wholeness once again instead."  In the long run, in this case, choosing to think for myself and doing the research it took gave me freedom from the drugs that the doctors would have chosen to chain me to.

During the Math Seminar Dr. DeMilletold a woman, "You are the expert in your home."  This is why they hesitate so much to share what they are doing.  Because of the way most of us in this generation have been conditioned, the tendency is just to copy what is already being done.  I'm not arguing the question, "Why reinvent the wheel?"  Certainly, there are times that it is more intelligent to follow the example given.  But families are so different, people are different.  Each has their own uniqueness - it only stands to reason that what works for one will not work for another.  The DeMille's would rather you read their material, pray, study it out in your mind, and come up with your own solutions.  This is what Rachel means by, "I teach what is mine" (paraphrased).  Our homeschools/families are healthier and more productive when we use our own reasoning along with divine inspiration.  But that's a whole other post.

I realize that we have all been taught that freedom is the power to choose.  In my opinion, the power to choose is only part of the equation.  Freedom is the power to choose once knowledge has been achieved.  Ignorance is NOT bliss - but knowledge IS power - POWER to make GOOD choices.  This is why I say that true freedom is THINKING, and then doing the right thing after the thought has been processed.  I must say do the right thing, because otherwise, thinking and not doing the right thing is akin to "Faith without works is dead" - freedom dies when those thoughts are not followed through.

I know this is a really long post - it's something that has been brewing in my mind for about a month now.  Much of my Lafayette paper will have some of this in it as well...  I don't know why it was such an important principle for me to learn, but Heavenly Father has been working hard with me on it, and now that I understand it, it's up to me to live it.

BTW - for those interested in TJed stuff - this weekend I finally found my Master Plan stuff.  I will finally be posting my Master Plan here and there.  And thank you to everyone who has ever posted comments on this blog - it used to be "Inspire Us" but I changed it to "Care to share" because someone found the term "Inspire" intimidating, but honestly, I get inspiration and upliftment from your comments.  Thank you, everyone.

I don't know if this story is true or not - I'd heard it before and my mother sent it to me again awhile back, and I am using it in my talk on Sunday.  It's a good object lesson, and really brings home the point that the Savior has given us a beautiful gift of the atonement - but it's up to us to use it or not.  I love the fact that it shows whether or not we want it, it is there.  So many people choose to turn their backs....  here's the story.

Parable of the Donuts

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. In this school Seminary classes are held during school hours.  Brother Christianson taught Seminary
at this particular school.  He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into
Brother Christianson's Seminary class.

he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him.  After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"

Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200?  That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said.  "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know...  I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10?  I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work.  Can you do it?  I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said.

Steve said, "Well...  I think I can...  yeah, I can do it."

Brother Christianson said, "Good!  I need you to do this on Friday."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls.  Everyone was pretty excited-it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk.

Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes."  Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"

I used to write poetry all the time.  I've started picking it up again - funny, but I've had some friends do the same.  But it was our recent poetry unit study that really inspired me - I so love Robert Frost.  I've been writing bunches of it - some of the funny ones about the kids have made it to my other blog, Making My Own Colors, but I am trying to keep it lightheared over there.  This is one that I wrote this morning and wanted to share.  Not sure what category to put it under, so I'm just filing it under food for thought.

A Prayer

Crisp, cool morning of late June

The flowers of spring have past.

Still, the birds sing of summer blooms

And of fall approaching fast.

So I sit upon my porch swing

Listening to their song

Enjoying the solace it brings

To my soul to right it’s wrongs.

Each is a gift – a gift from God

Each brought today to give me cheer

For He knows what lies behind this façade

Of calm really lies a woman full of tears.

For God knows me intimately, even better than myself!

He knows what I need, what I want, what I feel –

He know what I am tempted to lie upon the shelf,

And for what reasons I might appeal.

And so as I pause to reflect

Upon these deep thoughts this day...

It is with profound and deep respect,

That I pray to Him this way.

I just got through listening to Maggie, the Hillbilly Housewife, on a radio show she did.  It's a rather long program, so if you want to listen, get ready to sit for awhile.  However, it is well worth it.  I thought Maggie was wonderful - she didn't take flack, and I love her TJed answer that "Kids have to have it come from within".   Funny thing is, I don't think she has ever heard of TJed!  Go Maggie!!!

You can hear it here:  Taking the Food Stamp Challenge

I have the Hillbilly Housewife link on my sidebar under "Catch the Wave" - I happen to be feeding MY family on her $45.00 menu this week, with a few differences because I had tons already in my cupboards.  :)

The interesting thing I found was that the congresswoman's solution was to teach kids how to cook because Mom and Dad were both out with two or three jobs.  Okay, I usually keep this blog realatively politics free, but I did a double take when she said it, because I couldn't believe how casual she was about it.  I just can't believe that they don't find anything WRONG with that!  BOTH parents working?  Two or Three jobs?  No parent home RAISING the kids, so we're going to just allow the schools to do it for us because it's too much to THINK about?  How about letting parents grow up and be accountable?  How about kids, like Maggie says, start standing up for themselves and taking the ineciative?  Ever heard of enabling?  Ever heard of WHERE THE $$ IS COMING FROM?  I'm not saying we shouldn't have a welfare program and shouldn't help the poor.  I AM NOT SAYING THAT AT ALL.  I am saying "If the system is broke, why not FIX it?"  More school education is going to fix it all.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhht. 

*rolls eyes in back of head*

I had problems with the whole stinking thing.  KUDOS to Miss Maggie.  As my Athena would say, "SHE ROCKS!"