I have finally finished it!  It really didn't take that long, once I decided I was GOING to get it read - I must have started it at least 50 times.  This time I carried it with me everywhere in my purse and read it any chance I got, and even made the kids babysit two hours so I could finish.  What a feeling of accomplishment!  I've been wanting to get that book read for THREE years!

I can see why Oliver DeMille has you read that as one of the first pillar books.  If ever there was a book you could label "Core Phase" and "Love of Learning", this would be it.  Mom reading to them, Dad teaching core values over milking cows, allowing mentors come in and teaching when it was beyond your ability to teach - allowing Ralph to lead his own learning by interest instead of making him do what they wanted...   it was a whole way of life - not really a checklist like we tend to think of. 

Each person was pretty secure in their role in the family.  The entire family worked together, and they were given their free agency to continue to contribute or not once they started earning their keep outside of the home.  When their core values were not  upheld, the parents didn't tolerate the actions, but the individuals were still loved, and they knew they were loved.  Like the scriptures say, "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy"  (D&C 121:43), this father lived that instruction.  He instilled in Ralph, and I am sure in the others (the entire book is from Ralph's point of view, so you don't hear much from the others), a knack for searching for the betterment of his soul.  Father often allowed Ralph to come to his own conclusions without much interaction - when he saw a lesson being learned, he would highlight it.  He would give instruction and assignments when necessary, but he often allowed life to teach the lessons for him.  He was preparing Ralph to learn from a mentor.

And when Ralph was ready, his mentor "Hi" showed up, just as one keeps hearing about in all the seminars and things. "When the student is ready, the mentor will appear".  I am still getting ready, because I still am looking for a mentor myself.  I noticed how Ralph did everything that Hi told him to do - even when it drove him nuts.  And how quickly he progressed because of that.  More opportunities were open to him, skill came easy and quickly, and he was blessed with a great relationship as well.  I am reminded of an old saying, "You can choose to make life easy, or you can choose to make life hard.  Either way, it's your choice."  When Ralph chose to listen, life went easy - when he didn't, it was harder, and even painful. 

I was stuck by Father telling him that sometimes life's best learned lessons are the most painful ones.  Then Hi basically told him the same thing when training the horse, Sky High.  No one likes those painful lessons, but as I look back, it's true.  I wonder at those that choose to not learn their lessons, and cause the painful experiences to reoccur time and time again.  And it makes me ponder what is it that I am not learning in my own life?

Something that wasn't really the theme of this book, but struck me none-the-less, was the partnership between Father and Mame.  He protected her, even kept harmful knowledge from her.  He would take her off to "discuss" things so that the children wouldn't see them argue.  I had always thought to do that to protect the children - I had a thought though, that it was to protect her.  To keep her image spotless and the respect and care for her AS mother flowing from her children.  I had never really considered that before.  And she, as help meet, took care of him, worried over him. and reassured him when things got his esteem lower than need be.  She was strong when he needed her to be, and was feminine enough to need protection and care, things that a man needs to be needed for.  She was well read and was a hard worker, provided for her family, paid attention and could give direction, but never competed with him.  Together, they are a couple that set the standards high for, and uplifted their children's core values to a higher livining standard.  How do Redbeard and I do that?  DO we do that?  After he finishes reading this book, I want to discuss these thoughts with him.

There were some really good quotes from the book that I'd like to post, but Redbeard has taken it over and now he is reading it.  :)  When I get it back, I will post the quotes that meant the most to me, and why.