I just realized that I never did post the results of the Evaluation that we had done... we don't have the written report yet, but the Psychologist gave it to us verbally.

Hitman is dyslexic.  As if I didn't know it... but seriously, I've been fighting the public school system for so long to SHOW them that he is dyslexic... I feel vindicated.  The dr. said that it was obvious from the the evaluation that had been done in school - but that of course, the system doesn't "recognize" dyslexia.

HOWEVER, they do recognize ADD.  Which they feel that he also has.  I don't know how I feel about this.  For a long time I have been very steadfast in saying "My son does not have ADD, I'm not sure that I believe in ADD".  However, in looking at the description of ADD, yes, I would have to agree that my son has ADD.

• He has difficulty paying attention in very boring situations (why should a 9 year old have to be in a boring situation?)
• He is uncomfortable in very quiet, very calm situations (most 9 year old boys are)
• He loses focus and cannot regain it (ditto the 9 year old boy comment)

As a matter of fact, after hearing the doctor talk about ADD - I'm convinced that most of the children in society have ADD... so, the question remains, is the problem with our children or is it with society?  Why do we expect a 9 year old whose body is telling them to go, go, go and whose mind is telling them to learn everything as quickly as possible to sit quietly in a classroom, to not move and to learn everything in the most unnatural way possible?   So... yes, maybe according to "the description" my son has ADD - but he will not be medicated for it.

Hitman has a working memory deficit. In other words, he cannot take a piece of information, remember it and then manipulate that information.  Something as simple as "Class, complete sections 1 through 7 on your papers, turn it over and draw a picture of your house and then put your paper in the green bin at the back of the room" leaves too many places for things to go awry.  By the time that the teacher has finished giving instructions, Hitman is full of questions... What sections are we supposed to complete?  What am I supposed to draw?  Where am I supposed to draw it?  and Where am I supposed to put this paper?

Additionally... Hitman has a very slow processing speed.  So... while he's hearing the teacher give the instructions, his brain is perhaps only getting 1/2 of what is actually being said. He, in fact, may not have HEARD all of the instructions and if he did - his brain did not understand them. 

Hitman also has difficulty sequencing information.  In other words, pulling out the most important of the information and classifying it in his mind.   Everything received equal importance.  When telling about his day - it's difficult for Hitman to remember "what came first".  When you give him a list of instructions, it's difficult for him to remember what order to do something in.  This can sometimes give him the appearance of being clumsy or silly.

So... let me walk you through a typical morning in Public School for my child.

He rides the bus to school.  On the bus are 30+ kids, all talking at the same time.  The smell of at least 15 different shampoos, fabric softeners, deodorants, perfumes, conditioners, colognes, dogs and cats permeate the bus, in addition to the smell of "bus", that strange mixture of gasoline, dirt and deteriorating vinyl and foam.  For 20 minutes he struggles to keep his emotions from spinning out of control and convinces himself to remain calm.

When he gets to school, he goes to the cafeteria where the din is a little louder than it was on the bus, the smells are even greater, but at least he can find a place to sit and put his head down for a bit.   He eats his breakfast and tries to carry on a conversation with the kids at his table.

The bell rings and he makes his way to his classroom.  With 21 other kids jockeying to hang up there bags and get to their seats, he hangs back so as to not get too frustrated.  The teacher comes in to notice that he is the only one not sitting down and says sternly in front of the class, "Hitman, hurry up, why are you always the last one to get to your seat?"  His face burns as he says, "Yes maam, I'm sorry."

Once seated, Math work is handed out.  This is a poorly copied paper - not crisp and clean looking, but smudgy and dark.   There are 20 problem on the paper, of which he is to do 5 - good thing that he finally learned that (it took him all of last year to learn that he only had to do the 5 problems under Monday - almost every day last year he forgot and got yelled at for working ahead).  He is still working on the 5th problem when the teacher announces that it's almost time for Reading.  She says, "Those of you who have Reading in the Resource Room, everyone else, please get out your red pens and we'll go over the math problems and correct them.  Hitman - give your paper to Katie."  Hitman hands his paper to Katie who says, "Hitman, this morning we were supposed to do today's and tomorrow's problems - remember we have the fieldtrip tomorrow."

So, Hitman goes to the Resource Room feeling dejected and beaten down by the day already.  When the school told Hitman that he would be in the Resource Room they explained that this teacher was trained specifically to work with kids with Learning Disabilities - it hasn't helped so far.  The Resource Room is a small room, about 6X10 - barely big enought for a table and some chairs - there are 6 kids and a teacher stuck in this room.  There is the constant buzz of the fan because there are no windows in this room and the room was originally intended to be the janitors closet.  The fan hurts Hitman's head - it takes a lot of concentration to try to hear above it.   The teacher starts the day by having all of the kids read to themselves.  Hitman has a hard time reading because of his dyslexia, the letters seem to move around on the page.  As he looks at the page, he hears the fan buzzing, Tommy is tapping his foot, Bonnie is clicking her tongue and Jimmy is making faces at Joey.  Hitman tries to concentrate, but he can't seem to focus.  Just about the time that he gets to the 2nd paragraph, the teacher tells them to turn over their papers and answer the questions, they are not allowed to refer to the story.  Hitman can't remember.  "I'm so stupid", he tells himself and struggles not to cry.

The teacher then hands them a word search.  Hitman looks at the paper with all of the letters and tries to find a pattern to make the letters stop dancing.  The harder he concentrates the more the letters move, he begins to feel ill to his stomach - he is, in fact - sea sick.  He looks up from his paper to stop the spinning and is met with a bark from the teacher, "Hitman, eyes on your own paper".  He chokes back the tears and the anger and looks back down at his paper.  It seems forever until the class is over and he can go back to the regular classroom.  As he walks out the door the Resource Room Teacher says, "Don't forget to use your vocabulary words in a sentence - that's your homework."

When Hitman gets back to the regular classroom, his math paper is sitting on his desk, face up for everyone to see.  Hitman missed all but 1 of the questions that he answered and all 5 of the others that he hadn't known he was to do.  He has failed, again.  He looks up to see several of his classmates looking at him and giggling.  He sighs heavily and again chokes back the tears. He takes out his Science book and notebook so that he can be ready when the teacher is.

In Science they read along with the teacher while she reads aloud.  Hitman can't figure out where she is on the page, so he just stares at the book and flips the pages when everyone else does.  The teacher hands out a packet of questions to be answered.  HItman reads the questions and answers to the best of his ability.  However, what he doesn't realize is that all of the anwers should be verbatim from the text... he won't find out that he's failed that paper until tomorrow.

Finally, it's lunch time - Hitman's favorite time of day.  He get's to eat lunch then go out to play for recess.  There is nothing that Hitman loves more than playing outside.  He loves to run as fast as he can until it feels like his legs will fall off. Just as he's getting ready to walk out the door for lunch, his teacher reminds him that he has to finish some work from yesterday - so he'll be staying in for recess.  His heart breaks... he REALLY wanted to play.  He tries to eat lunch - but it doesn't taste good.  He goes back to the classroom to work on his papers from yesterday.

In Social Studies they watch a movie on Ecosystems.  He is amazed at how perfectly the Earth is made - how everything fits together like a puzzle.  When asked to write a summary of the movie, Hitman manages to write a 4 sentence paragraph explaining how much he loved learning about "Eekosistms".  Again, he doesn't realize that he did not complete the assignment correctly - he was to summarize not share his feelings.  He'll have points taken off for that, and all of the misspellings and omissions? Those won't go unnoticed by the fat, red marker either!  But alas, that disappointment is reserved for another day.

He attends music class which is usually pretty fun.  Then they go to the Library.  The Library is one of Hitman's favorite places to be in the school.  The kids try to be quiet in the Library and although they never completely succeed - it's definitely more manageable. Besides, the Librarian knows that Hitman is dyslexic and she always sets aside a few good books for him.

As the class walks back to the classroom, Donesha, one of the girls in his class says, "Did ya get yourself a new baby book for the week Hitman?" 

The rest of the day is very similar - being made fun of, never feeling quick enough, smart enough or good enough... and yet, he KNOWS in his heart of hearts that he IS smart, he IS good and he IS paying attention.

I have been horrified and saddened by some of the stories that Hitman has told me of the sarcasm used by the teachers - and the saddest part is that he understands it. 

So... with all of this in mind, I am now EVEN MORE CERTAIN that this is the way to go!

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